From Postpartum Depression to Empowering Women: Chelsea Dischinger's 9-Year Journey of Healing and Growth
My word for this year has been “community.” In the past 2 years, moving countries, then moving states, amidst so much death, the value of true, meaningful, deep relationships has rooted into my value system like never before.
I used to love wolf it - I had my husband, my parents, my kids. But when we got stuck in Australia 🇦🇺 for two years, community in crisis became critical, for me, and my babies.
So when I moved to Texas, I knew how deeply I wanted to double down on building quality relationshsips with people who deeply value connection.
Fast forward to a Facebook group search later and there it was “CONNECT,” as fast growing 2000 person community of growth minded women.
I showed up to this woman’s house like a kid on the first day of kindergarden - hopeful to make friends, but nervous with all the egoic questions racing through my mind…
Will they like me? Will it be of value? Will I be accepted?
Two hours later, I drove home with tears in my eyes, knowing I’d found connection.
A community of women gathered together to grow, support, and see each other, without judgement or shame.
I was in awe of what Chelsea Dischenger a fellow CA-transplant had created and was on the cusp of creating in our hometown.
From battling postpartum depression for six years to kicking off a coaching empire with a 200-person conference, Chelsea is a testament to the power of resilience and self-transformation.
Here are some key takeaways from our conversation:
The Power of Internal Work: Chelsea's journey to healing took nine years of deep internal work. She transformed her negative, near suicidal thoughts into new neural networks of positive emotion consistently showing up for herself, even in the hardest moments.
Shifting Mindset: Chelsea shared a powerful question that shifted her mindset - instead of asking for God to save her, she started asking how she could save herself. This shift from victim to warrior was a game-changer.
The Athletic Mentality: Chelsea's collegeate soccer career instilled in her a sense of tenacity and the willingness to show up for herself, which played a crucial role in her recovery and personal growth.
The Power of 'Why': Chelsea discovered her powerful 'why' by going seven layers deep to uncover her true purpose. This emotional 'why' set the foundation for her transformations.
The Role of Discipline: Chelsea emphasized how do double down on discipline, defining it is a muscle that needs to be strengthened daily.
Embracing Imperfections: Chelsea encourages listeners to embrace their imperfections and take action, even if it means making embarrassing S&M mistakes.😝
I'm incredibly grateful to Chelsea for sharing her journey and for the impact she has had on my life. I hope her story inspires you as much as it has inspired me.
Remember, own your throne, mind your business, and embrace your sovereignty.
Your reign is now.
P.S. If you know someone who is struggling with postpartum, please share this with them. Connect and let them know that you see their struggle and are supporting.
In our darkest moments, even the tiniest act of friendship can shine a light of hope.
TRANSCRIPT:
Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - Hello, my fellow sovereigns, and welcome back to another episode of the Crown Yourself podcast. I was recently asked by a friend of mine, a new friend here in a town outside of Austin, and she was like, How are you connecting with people so quickly? Like, you know, so many people? Maybe it's the fact that I've moved multiple times or maybe it's just the fact that I found this phenomenal group called Connect started by my friend Chelsea Dischinger. Because of that group. I remember the first time I attended one of Chelsea’s Connect meetings which are in her home, and it was, you know, 50 people showing up. I was amazed at how many women were there. And we all got together and talked and shared vulnerably some stories. Chelsea gave a beautiful lesson about habits and being able to see which habits you either want to purge or which habits you want to do a fast with. And I love the metaphor. And I was like, This queen has got some coaching skills.
Kimberly Spencer (00:01:06) - And then it turns out that I find out that Chelsea is a best-selling author of her book, The Five Non-Negotiables. She has spoken all around town, even including at places like Kind Bar on these five non-negotiables and how to really achieve your goals. Chelsea battled nine years of postpartum depression and came out vigilantly on the other side with a fire in her heart and a purpose igniting her soul. And when I saw her, I was like, She's going to be my friend. I want her to be my friend. And it's literally as simple as that to make friends, kids like that's that's really as simple as that. And I learned that in kindergarten because I was so shy and I never would asked people to be friends. I just would silently stalked them. And I made the decision that Chelsea and I were going to be friends. And so it is. And when I met Chelsea, I was so excited because I walked away from her group and I was crying happy tears like I do because I was like, I am home.
Kimberly Spencer (00:02:08) - Like I am home. And I have found a community of women that are uplifting each other, challenging each other, Like it wasn't the concepts that you would think of, like the South, like, oh, bless her heart, like backstabbing, gossip sort of comments. Know these these women were showing up vulnerable and courageous. And I do think that that is definitely a testament to Chelsea's leadership, which is why I am blessed and honored to have her on this podcast, because coming up in one and a half weeks, we have our Connect New Braunfels Conference. That is the first of its kind where all of the groups between San Antonio and Austin are connecting in full force to join hands and support each other as women. And that is something I am so deeply honored to be a part of, to be contributing to, to be building. And Chelsea is spearheading the way on that. And I am so excited to be on board. And so I'm going to let her take it away because she is a firecracker of knowledge and of action.
Kimberly Spencer (00:03:15) - And she, like my favorite kind of people, are the ones who don't just read and don't just, you know, consume the knowledge, but they are all about creating those actionable results because you don't get results without taking action. And it wasn't soon after Chelsea and I met that she ended up starting her own coaching business. She is soon to be launching a podcast and she is an all-around, amazing badass queen I am so excited to call her a friend and to be living close to her. So rather than in Texas terms where you're like, Oh, you're just down the road and they're like four hours down the road. Like, she really is a close neighbor and friend. And I am honored to have her here with us today. And with that, I give you Chelsea Dischinger. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself, and I'm a master mindset coach, best-selling author, and TEDx speaker, known to my clients as a game changer.
Kimberly Spencer (00:04:25) - Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Chelsea, I am so excited to have you here. Around yourself. And I just want to dive in immediately into it.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:04:58) - You took went from.
Kimberly Spencer (00:05:01) - Postpartum and really struggling with postpartum into now building a coachingmpire, writing a book, launching your first conference that's like like this just radical transformation. How did you experience it?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:05:18) - Postpartum.
Kimberly Spencer (00:05:19) - How did that set the foundation for actually being able to catapult you?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:05:25) - Yeah. Well, first of all, thank you for having me. I'm so excited to be on your podcast. I have so much respect for you and just feel honored to be a guest. So thank you. Yeah, if you're okay with it, I'd love just to talk a tiny bit about the Depression.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:05:39) - Yeah, just because I feel like it's not talked about enough. I mean, I know that it's getting better As time's going on, it's getting less taboo. But yeah, I went through really severe postpartum depression, and the crazy thing was I was living my best life. My husband and I had been married for like four years. We were still in that like, kind of honeymoon, amazing phase. We were pregnant with our first and we knew the hospital so excited, so expectant. And then literally after Jordan was born, it was a hard delivery. I just didn't feel right and kind of got emotional and I was just crying a lot. My husband's like, What's wrong? And I'm like, I don't know. Something's just not right. And I kept crying because I was in the hospital for a few days because she had jaundice and something, a little infection we had to take care of. We got home from the hospital and I just kept crying. And, you know, after about after a few weeks, we went to you know, you do like your check-in with the doctor after you deliver the baby.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:06:31) - How's the baby? How's the mom? I was like, I just don't feel right. I feel super emotional. She's like, Oh, Chelsea, it's totally normal. It's called baby blues. Like a lot of moms get it. It lasts about six weeks. You're just, you know, hormones or just adjusting and. Okay, that's fine. Six weeks turned into six years of constant crying. And I mean, it was the I went into the hospital as one person and I walked out a changed person and I couldn't control it. I couldn't get it under control. And so it took me down a very dark, long journey. Six years may not sound like a long time, but this is a long time. That's half a decade. That's. Yeah, yeah. I'm When you're in despair, every day feels like forever. And so, you know, the first couple of years I did all the things I thought I could do to pull myself out of it. But when it really got dark was a few years in when I did every trick in the book and nothing worked.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:07:31) - And I just finally began to lose hope. And that's where it got really bad. And, you know, I love what you said, you know, Oh, Chelsea, you're doing all these big things now. And that is true. Like I'm finally stepping in and I'm healed and I'm stepping into that. But the last nine years of my life, all I have done is the deep internal work to get me to where I am today so it can look like, Oh, you're launching into and I am, and I love that. But really, I built a foundation over nine years of transforming myself from the inside out. For the last nine years. I decided I was going to get over this and heal after six years of being down and I have to one step forward, two steps back. It was a long, hard journey. I didn't get that miracle. I didn't snap my fingers and all of a sudden I was better. I had to do the hard work of reprogramming my mind, and controlling my emotions when they were out of control.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:08:25) - And then not only that, after six years of being this depressed, you've built these ruts and these habits that are deep and they just pull you down time and time again. So it was a big journey. But yes, everything that I learned through these nine years of transforming my life is now what I do to help teach other women. It's the foundation of now of what I'm doing today. Yeah, so what when you think back to like, because.
Kimberly Spencer (00:08:53) - You say do the work. And I know that you and I are both very much believers in like, putting things into action and getting into action and doing that work. But so many people asked like, what work? Like what is what is that work like, what is that deep internal work? Because it's not something that's seen necessarily externally.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:09:15) - Yeah. No, that's good. Gosh, the deep work is the hard stuff that sucks and that doesn't sound very, very deep. But you know what's so funny? We try to make things so much more complicated than they are.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:09:30) - The truth is, I had to take two negative thoughts I had that day and turn them into positive ones and do that for a few days. And then I had to try to have three positive thoughts that day like it was. That was the deep work. It wasn't. I mean, yes, I did counseling and I believe in all that stuff. I love all those things. But a lot of it was I had to literally just decide like, I need to change the way I'm thinking. So I'm going to write down new thoughts every day. I'm going to say that. To myself, even though I don't believe it, even though it's hard. And it was it was honestly consistently showing up for myself in the hard things. That's the deep work that is consistently showing up in the hard things. Yeah. And they're simple, but they're hard. They're. It's so hard.
Kimberly Spencer (00:10:15) - Especially when you're facing yourself, because I have a theme that I really live by, and it's like that which is unconscious, which is conscious, manifest happily, and that which is unconscious manifest unhappily.
Kimberly Spencer (00:10:26) - And those things that are like deeply unconscious when they're manifesting in your external circumstances. We're like, Oh my gosh, like, I feel so angry at my kid. They're like, I feel so angry at this this thing that's happening and recognizing like, oh my gosh, that's me. Like, how is that me? Like, how is that what I'm projecting out into the world? How is that a reflection of the things that I need to look at within myself that I need to heal, Then I need to shift so that that that's the magic of the mindset, alchemy in a way of of doing that work. Was there, any question that you ask yourself regularly I know Richard Bandler, the founder of NLP and Tony Robbins have said that your life is determined by the quality of the questions that you ask. And I found that those who have been able to successfully transform their mindset from such a dark place tend to not necessarily ask the question of like, why is this happening to me? Because that just sends you down the rabbit hole of spiraling.
Kimberly Spencer (00:11:29) - But is there a question that you regularly asked yourself that allowed you to kind of pave the way to new answers?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:11:38) - Well, this may not sound super deep, but one, I think the question that really changed made a shift for me was before I started making a change, I kept thinking like, God does a miracle. God heal me. God, if you made me a mom and you knew I was going to be a mom, how could you give me this deep depression? How could you make me struggle so much in motherhood? Like, why did you do this to me? Like all those kinds of things doing a miracle is what I was asking for. And finally, all of a sudden, one day I shifted to God, what can I do to get out of this depression? And that question was powerful because it allowed me to recognize that I have responsibility. It's a partnership here. I can't just sit back and pray for a miracle. What can I do? And that's when it shifted from Why am I going through this? Why do my circumstances suck? How could this happen to me being a victim to becoming a warrior in this battle against depression that was taking over my life? And I said, No, I what can I do? And that's when I said, Well, I can change my thinking.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:12:46) - I could get a little more control over my emotions, you know, and I started that long, hard journey. So I think that was a powerful question for me.
Kimberly Spencer (00:12:53) - Yeah, because that's actually a space where you actually take ownership and are actually able to create change. Yes. And as you're moving through shifting that question. What was like the next step? So as you start to change your mindset ask new questions and look at how can you take that personal responsibility. Like, what were some of the habits that you realized that you were stuck in? There are deep depressive habits that you actually recognize could be transformed, transmuted, changed?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:13:26) - Yeah, Well, I learned a lot of things, surprisingly, especially now that I'm out of the depression phase. A lot of successful, strong, type-A-driven women have all come to me and said I went through depression because we're perfectionists and because we have this expectation for our life and a lot of depression is unmet. Expectation causes depression. Right? And so we have these expectations, these standards and these, and then when those aren't met, we get to we're like, I don't know what to do.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:13:58) - We feel hopeless. We can't change it. And so, you know, a big change for me was just coming face to face with the fact that life isn't always going to be the way I want it. And that's okay. That I can't control everything, and that I don't have to be perfect to be a good mom was a part of my depression. Put so much pressure on myself to be this perfect mom and have everything right and not overwhelm myself. So it's so easy to overhaul yourself with that.
Kimberly Spencer (00:14:26) - Like, yes, I know.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:14:29) - Yes, I had unrealistic expectations for myself, and for my motherhood. One of the powerful things I started doing, though, was moving my body. That was one of the first things I did. There's something about moving my body and getting into the gym. And it was funny because I made all these excuses why I could not move. My body was like, Oh, you know, we were we struggled. We were very, very financially strapped when our kids were little.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:14:56) - And so my brother was obsessed with CrossFit and he made this deal with me. He said he has this, he has this big company that actually promotes CrossFit and stuff. So he said, I'll pay for your CrossFit membership if you will go because I know you're going to love it. Because I used to be. I was a college athlete and I love sports, but I hadn't worked out in like eight years. And so I said, okay, fine, because I couldn't I didn't have money for a gym membership. So I was like, okay, I'll do this. Well, I started showing up at the gym, but I would go because I was in a bad mental place. I would show up in three days. I won't come for three weeks. I would, you know, show up half-assed and then I would do really good, you know, And I was just as roller coaster like everything else in my life was a roller coaster. So I would start blaming, Well, if it's not for me, well, I don't really like it.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:15:41) - Like this isn't the right thing. And what's funny is I had every resource available to me. And if you really look honestly at your life, how many times do you have everything you need but you're just not showing up consistently? I had all these workout clothes, just catching dust. I had my brother paying for my membership. My kids were in school, so I had like a six-hour time to go to any class during those six hours, right? Like I had everything I needed, but I wasn't showing up for myself. And that's why that question of what can I do? And the answer is to show up for yourself. It's like, but that's hard. Like, don't want to do that. I just want to sit here and make excuses and, you know, but that's unfortunately, that's us so many times in life. I mean, look at us. We're we're American women. I mean, you may have an international audience, but I mean, we have almost everything we need to succeed between YouTube, our Internet, the computer, or resources.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:16:42) - But we're sitting here and we're being mediocre because we're not showing up for ourselves in the simple things like just going to the gym, everything else is handled. But why couldn't I do that? Right? And that was a big battle. Was learning to show up for myself.
Kimberly Spencer (00:17:00) - Yeah, Yeah. And it's funny because I see the parallel to business as well with the showing up to do the reps. And there's something about the athlete's mindset because like I'm a marathon runner. I know you did like college soccer and that athlete mindset of you show up to practice and you do your reps and you have to get your reps said in order to run and like run the marathon, you know, score the goal. You have to build that muscle up and it's the reps of showing up for yourself. And I liked it when I first started out building my business. I didn't treat sales as like getting in my reps and I would make excuses and I'd do pretty Canva images and I would like to build a logo.
Kimberly Spencer (00:17:47) - And I was like, I was doing all of these things, but I would make excuses for not actually doing the reps of the sales. It wasn't until I shifted my mindset around that I could be in the victim-blaming space. I was for a year and a half before I found out I was pregnant with my son and that I was not putting out offers on a daily basis. And then when I realized, Oh, I just need to put in my reps on a daily basis, connect with people, and that I wasn't tapping into my resources like of the community that I had in order to generate new leads and clients in business. And then once I looked at the resources like, You are so right like sometimes we are. So we allow ourselves this ignorance because of our excuses to think that we don't have what it is, what we need. Well, it's and I love what Dan Sullivan, who's the founder of Strategic Coach. He says it's not how it's who.
Kimberly Spencer (00:18:41) - It's like, who do you know? It's like your brother gifting you the CrossFit and like, just being able to look at, oh, who do I know in in business? Who could refer me, who could connect me to my ideal clients? Like that shift, The game was a game-changer. And so looking at how do you tap deeper into the resources that you already have, because that's where the scarcity mindset really comes into play.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:19:06) - Yeah, love that. And that's you're right, it's showing up for yourself and your business. I see this all the time with entrepreneurs because it's we're, you know, we're our own boss, right? So we can look at our list for the day. We can say, Oh, these are the easy things. These are things I'm good at, these are the things I like. But are we really showing up for ourselves or are we just, you know, putting in our time, busy work for the day, and then we can say, oh, I worked, I showed up today.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:19:29) - Ah, you need to really ask yourself, am I showing up well for myself? And when it comes to resources, what I have learned in life is you have to start with what you have. If you want more, you have to start with what you have. Sometimes as entrepreneurs, we will sit back and just Sunday when this comes or when I have this money, I mean, you know, I'm just getting started and I don't have a million resources. So what will I do? I will go online and I will get every single thing I can get in my price range and I will learn it. And then I will guess what I will do. I will go apply it. And then by applying that, I will make the money I need to level up to the next coach or the next opportunity. We got to stop sitting here just waiting, you know. Well, one day know. Today is the day. Today is the freaking day. Show up for yourself. Use what's in your hand.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:20:16) - And once you do, more will come.
Kimberly Spencer (00:20:20) - And I love that because that's I remember you telling me that you had the desire to start the to like, do the conference, and then you're like, I'm doing it. And I was like, okay, let's go. Like, let's do this and that, that tenacity that comes from the decision. And how did you imagine that with postpartum you had to decide to think those new thoughts? And did your athletic background prepare you to make stronger, bolder decisions like more embodied ones? Because that's just kind of, you know when you're on the field in soccer. I mean, I played it briefly when I was six years old, but like when you're on the field you have a split second to make a decision, you know who you're kicking the ball to. Do you see any correlation to how your athletic mindset like what you trained to do has shown up for you and how you show up for yourself?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:21:09) - Yes, I am actually really grateful for that mentality.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:21:12) - It was it was a love-hate. It kind of put me in a little bit of a perfectionism because, you know, you have to be the best and you have to train, train, train. But at the same time, it really did. I spent years showing up for myself. I mean, when I was when I was 12 years old, I would get up before school and go train in the backyard every day. Like I'm learning like you show up for yourself. You got to be the best. You have to work harder than everyone else. So that did help me to kind of go. It was instead of trying to completely build all new habits, some of it was just going back to who I used to be, which is a lot easier than paving a new path. But yeah, it was definitely a journey. And I do want to emphasize that it was not an overnight thing. This was literally grueling. One step forward, two steps back. But the more I showed up for myself, the easier it got.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:21:59) - I know you guys know about habit stacking and all the things, but literally I know I'm speaking practically today. But here's the deal. Some of us aren't doing the practical things right. We want to go do the big things or the deep things, and I'm all into all those things and I love that. And I'm definitely going deeper into the deeper things now. But we got to get these fundamentals down, you know? And so showing up for yourself every day in the little things that matter, showing up and not sitting there and saying, What's my to-do list? I'm asking, what is going to move the needle for my business today, whether I like it or not, whether it's hard or not. And that's why I start every single day off with my mindset. Without fail, I do not start my work day until I have put myself in a good mental state where I am prepared to tackle the things that are going to move the needle for my business. And that is a habit that I've had for years now actually have.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:22:51) - I wish I had it to show you Right now. I have a piece of paper and it's its title is Mindset. And then I have each topic for my life. So I have my mindset for my marriage, my mindset for my motherhood, my mindset for my business. And every day I read that this is how I'm going to think about my marriage. This is how I'm going to show up for my husband. This is why I'm in this marriage, this, you know, and I and every single day. And I know that we sound over the top. Well, when I say every day, Monday through Friday, usually. But when you do that, you're constantly pulling yourself back to the most powerful thing, which is why am I doing what I'm doing and who am I? And when your business flows out of that, you're willing to show up for the important work. That sucks because, you know, oh, there's people on the other side, like, Why are we doing this podcast today? We're not doing this just a I mean, I love hanging out with you, but we're doing this because there are people that we hope that are going to hear this and that their lives are going to be changed and their businesses are going to grow, that they're going to expand their capacity.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:23:48) - That's why we're here. When you approach every day with a sense and a passion for why you're showing up for your business, your whole day is different, even from the things you take your time to do, to the conversations you have on the phone. Everything shifts. And that is a powerful thing that I learned. It's actually one of the biggest things I teach about your why. Because that is the motivation that is beyond just yourself. It's bigger than you. And that was part of what helped me to recover, is I actually began working with human trafficking. And I would look at these women and I would go, Oh my gosh, like, if they can overcome, I can overcome. And I started this little jewelry business and it was really good because it gave me something to do. It gave me some purpose. But every day I would show up and go, I didn't have to show up for this business because if I make this much money, I can give to this shelter or we're trying to build this safe home and they need this much money.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:24:44) - And it gave me a purpose bigger than me. And I think that if you're feeling really stale in your business or you're just kind of feeling stalled out or you're just kind of overwhelmed, really taking time to go back and saying, Why did I start this? And who are the people whose lives are being changed because of it? And if you can just refresh and renew your mind and your heart and your spirit back to your why and your purpose, it really helps to make those hard daily decisions that you have to do day in and day out a lot easier because you're, you know, you remember why you're doing it, you know?
Kimberly Spencer (00:25:18) - Yeah, Yeah. I mean.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:25:19) - And then when you.
Kimberly Spencer (00:25:20) - When you compound it to enrolling, whether it's your family or your team, into that y, I mean, I remember when I told my team, I said, we are going for our first 15 initiative where our goal is to use 15% of our profits to save 15 women from human trafficking. And I know it's about $3,500 per woman to save from human trafficking.
Kimberly Spencer (00:25:43) - So like, I'm like, I know that with that goal, I need to show up because I have 15, 15 children and that that for me, like women. Yes. And but children for me like that is my heartstrings. That is everything. And to know that there are 15 children out there who I, I have the power to save if I just get up and show up and do the work like I can put my ego aside of the fears of rejection and the, you know, the crummy, you know, comments or something that I make up, I can put my ego aside for that because that's not what's important. What's important is those 15 kids. Yes, I love that.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:26:21) - I love that. And I kind of feel like, you know, if you are listening and you are feeling a little stale, do this work, do this internal. This is deep work of why am I doing it. And I'm sure that you've done deep y, you know, training before and you get, you get to that level where you just, you realize like, it's not even should I or I have to.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:26:44) - It's I have to show up. I have to do this. Like people are dependent on it. Like this is who I was meant to be. This day is about me being fully myself. And I've got to show up for this. And it just shifts. This one little perspective shift changes everything. A lot of the struggles that we struggle with are so hard, like, Oh, I don't want to do that. I don't want to focus on this part of my business today or whatever literally is obliterated the minute that you really begin your day with your why and your passion. And that is why I do that, I must set my intention and set my mindset every single day or I'm going to waste half a day. I really. And unfortunately, that's true for me.
Kimberly Spencer (00:27:26) - Same here. I mean, it's it's that constant practice. I mean, remember, I think it was Zig Ziglar who said like somebody asked him, like, why do you need motivation every day? Why do you need to connect with your why? And he's like, well, why do you need to shower every day? Because like, you get dirty, like things happen, life happens.
Kimberly Spencer (00:27:43) - But it's that constant depth of connection and that and I think something that's really poignant, though, is because there's a lot of activities out there that are, you know, let me state my purpose and let me just write it down 15 times. And if it's not like when you state your purpose, Chelsea and this is what I just love about you you have this fervor and this intensity and this power that comes through you. It's not even like it's not even earthly. I mean, even like for me, just speaking of our first 15 initiative and just the power of like, seeing those kids, like it pulls something, it pulls emotion out of me. And if your purpose is not leaning into that emotion, then it's just surface words. So how do you get to that point where that purpose drives such a deep stake in your ego so that all of the fears, all of the doubts go by the wayside because those are no longer important because your purpose is what's driving you?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:28:45) - Yeah.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:28:46) - Okay. Are you ready for this?
Kimberly Spencer (00:28:47) - Let's go for it. Let's. Let's do it.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:28:50) - Do it every day. I know it doesn't sound special, but how did I develop a Y with such passion and depth? You know, what I did is I reprogrammed my mind to have powerful neural networks that are connected with y y. So what did I do? I started out with y. My y was basic. Yeah, sure. When you start with your Y, you're not going to wake up and just feel all the roses and petals. And this is what happens. People quit because they. They don't get what they want immediately. This is what I'm talking about. Showing up consistently. I know that sucks, but here's how it works. I literally wrote My Lai and the beginning was okay and I didn't really know it. And as I started reading my Y every day, then when I started reading my Y every day, you know what happened? I'd be scrolling on my phone all of a sudden and see like, how did get a deeper Y? Like, you know how it's this crazy how things start, you know, like they never saw before.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:29:43) - It's like you buy a new car and all you see is that car, right? So now all of a sudden I'm seeing all these things about Y. So when I'm reading articles, I'm learning. And then I learned about this exercise of how to go seven layers deep with your Y. So then I did, you know, you ask yourself, you know, why am I doing this business? And you have your first answer. Usually, your first answer is very surface. That's all I had at the beginning. So then I went down deeper. Then I went deeper and I just went down deep, deep, deep until I got to a really powerful y. But then the power wasn't just the fact that my Y was powerful. It's the fact that your brain assigns the most priority to the most emotional things you think about. So the more emotion that you have, the higher your brain prioritizes that thought. So I began to, as I did it day after day, and I put emotion into it and it's got deeper.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:30:26) - It got more emotional. The brain literally began to create these neural networks that were powerful and strong and full of emotion and full of passion. And I've done this every day for years. And so and it's evolved over time. That is how you create a powerful why you wake up every day and say, I am living this day on purpose for a purpose. This day matters. I'm all in. This is why I'm showing up. And you do it every single day. That is, at least for me. I've never had some magic thing where I just never.
Kimberly Spencer (00:30:58) - Had the magic thing, nor I've ever seen that magic thing I've never known anyone to have. Like, it's. It's so social media is such an illusion. It allows us to think like, Oh, they just woke up.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:31:09) - One day and had like, manifested.
Kimberly Spencer (00:31:11) - Everything. Like, you don't know, like the past.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:31:13) - Seven years that you didn't see behind.
Kimberly Spencer (00:31:15) - The scenes.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:31:16) - That's like, Oh, go ahead. I'm just going to say that you have to create in your mind before you create in person.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:31:25) - But what happens is creating in your mind can feel boring. It can be hard to get the distractions down. It can be hard to discipline your mind. It can be hard to show up every day, creating in your mind when you don't see it manifesting in person. But the people who get the dreams and desires of their heart, the people who have a business that stays purposeful a decade later and don't burn out are the people who take the time to do the mental work and show up for themselves consistently. That's that's just you can't get away from that. I'm sorry. That's how it works. You know, when you say like, oh, you know, I've had a lot of people say, Oh, Chelsea, I can't believe all these big things you're doing in the past year. And I'm like, You didn't see nine years of overcoming day after day after day. Why can I help you? Why is there authority and power in my words when I speak them? Because of their words.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:32:15) - Anyone there who I am, they're what I read every day. They're just they come out as a piece of me because I've done the work and we want to be overconfident. We want to overcomplicate it so that when we have excuses that we have to have all these special degrees or talents or, you know, no, honestly, most of life is showing up for yourself in the hard things, you know?
Kimberly Spencer (00:32:41) - And I think like, take me back to when nine years ago like, or when you weren't clear on what your purpose is like. I don't think you were thinking of a giant conference or a book or, or, you know, a coaching business. So where was your purpose then and how did it evolve into what it looks like now? What change did it just deepen?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:33:08) - Yeah, well, I think I mean, I always. I wanted to be an author since I was ten. I used to write. I used to sign, you know, in my journal. I'd signed like Chelsea and then under Worth, I could author, you know, how people put like CEO or whatever under their name.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:33:23) - And I think that part of my depression was when I got to when I had kids and I got depressed and I felt like my life was over and I was never going to reach my goals. I was never going to be anybody. And I just got into this really victim mindset. And so I think a big, um, really my first reason was my kids. The only reason I didn't actually kill myself was my children. I was very suicidal many times throughout the process, and it was my kids. It was because I love my kids and I didn't want to leave them, although I felt like they were better off with a different mall. I genuinely thought, like, it won't even matter if I kill myself and a horrible mom anyways, and like Michael could find someone so much better and so I was really bad place. I think, though, that my kids kept me from killing myself. Then I think doing the human trafficking stuff was a gift to me. I thought I was helping save them, but they saved me because I didn't have the discipline to actually run a business.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:34:26) - And I would say it's probably more of like a hobby than a business. It wasn't like some big business, but I started showing up for things and creating and being creative with designs and just slowly blossoming the few of those gifts that have just kind of died inside of me because I was passionate about helping these women. And so that was very helpful. Finding something bigger than me and a purpose greater than me. That was the beginning stages, I think, blooming slowly but surely.
Kimberly Spencer (00:34:58) - I think like that was pulling out of you. As that. There's a great book that I just read that was from the 1960s called Seed Money. And it's like when you don't know where to start, you start planting seeds and then you till that you prepare that soil and that is what starts to blossom and sow the seed of giving. How has generosity played a role in your path to healing?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:35:29) - Yeah, well, a big thing unexpectedly is, you know, just kind of fast forwarding to this season was I knew so I moved here to New Braunfels and I didn't know anybody.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:35:41) - And that was a big move for me. And it was hard for me because my family, I lived near my family and all the things and I felt like God was saying, I want you to take everything that you've that you've learned over these years, and I want you to love women in your city with this. So I want you to open up your house and I want you to pay for breakfast, pay for a babysitter, and do all the work to get the house ready and invite women in and complete strangers and just want you to love on them. And, you know, that's saying like, if you want to make a friend be a friend. This really rang true to me because I didn't have friends. And, you know, at our age, it's hard. I can't be a room mom anymore. My kids are 13 and 15 now, so I can't be the room mom. It's because the campuses are so locked they can't even go on campus and meet the other moms. And it's just hard to make friends.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:36:26) - And I felt like I'm in this new city. I don't know anybody. How am I going to do this? Well, I opened up my door and just began to plant seeds into women and love them. And next thing you know, this group just grew and grew and grew and grew. Until now, we have over 2000 women and it's just been amazing I learned the value of loving, mean these women would show up at my house and I would feed them, and love them. I'd teach a short little 15-minute thing, and then we break up in small groups and talk. And then I would take them out for coffee and I'd listen to their stories and I'd make sure they were seen and heard and loved and invested and poured into every woman that came through my door. Now, there are too many to do all of what everyone, but I do the best that I can. In return, I have so many incredible friends who never would have been in my life if I hadn't been willing to plant seeds.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:37:16) - And I do think sometimes I am, says entrepreneurs. We make it all about us. And I don't mean that because we're selfish, horrible, rude, mean people. You know what we are. We are ambitious. We have a goal and we are overworked and we're stressed out. And so it's all about us just surviving us, just building us. And I mean, it's like blocks.
Kimberly Spencer (00:37:38) - These like laser beam focused on a goal and suddenly, like, friendships kind of goes up in the rafters.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:37:45) - And it's easy to do. And it's not because we're bad people. It's not because there's nothing we're not. I wouldn't say we're selfish, but sometimes we get that way as entrepreneurs because we're obviously ambitious and we've got a vision sometimes. I love what you, I love that you ask this question because it's so important. Sometimes we need to plant seeds into others. Again, your business can be a way you plant seeds in others. If you approach the day remembering why and who it is you're reaching not getting caught up in the weeds of the work and forgetting the end results of the people you're impacting.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:38:20) - You know, that allows you to plant seeds and take your business to a level. I mean, you think about a dry cleaner down the street like they're just going to wash your clothes and give it back to you. But what about the dry cleaner who's like, I'm here to make you look fantastic for your interview? I am here to give you the best-looking clothes for your workday. You know, like there's this you know, you would approach the day completely differently. You know, it's a complete energy.
Kimberly Spencer (00:38:42) - Is everything Like it is and it is the energy and the intention that you're bringing into it. And I love what you said about pouring that into your business and having your business also be the seat of generosity doesn't mean you let down your boundaries, does mean you don't charge for your services, and know where your line is drawn as to what you give away for free and what is paid. It does mean, though, that with those that you do serve, whether they're just in your community as free members or whether they are in your they're clients and customers, you serve them with the biggest heart and the best of your ability and you pour that energy into them.
Kimberly Spencer (00:39:20) - And then and then from there meet the standard of what they expect and then need to go a little above and beyond, but not, not obviously clearly holding your boundaries as well of like where the line is drawn and understanding and being able to hold the space for the conversations, those challenging conversations that may come up. But when does generosity go overboard? If ever.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:39:42) - Well, you know me. This is a bad question because I'm just going to be falsely transparent because that's just the way I am. I definitely can get into the overgiving. So I am totally not an expert at this. But yeah, I do. I do think that I'm just going to be honest. It's something that I'm really learning a lot about right now. And actually, Kimberly, you're teaching me a lot about it and I appreciate that because you're constantly challenging me to charge what you're worth and to show up well. And I am trying because I know I have. And we were just talking before we even went live on here.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:40:16) - Yeah. He had 50, 80 messages a day from women because my group is growing and I'm doing all these different things. You don't have any of this. I knew that. And I'm starting to get to a place where I can't respond in answer to everybody. And I've got to try to set up systems and think that is important because if you burn yourself out, if you aren't running your business from like within, it's not an overflow of who you are, then it gets stale, dry or it bleeds over into your marriage. It bleeds over in your parenting, it bleeds over in your sleep at night, and it just begins to become toxic. So I do think it's important. I love what you said about saying that again about your business being the seed of giving. Right. Like the purpose is the seed of giving. Whatever you said, I loved it. And that's true. I think a lot of your giving can be through your intention of serving your customers well. It doesn't always have to mean giving everything away.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:41:08) - It can mean over-delivering for the clients who are paying for you and serving them well, not always giving something away for free.
Kimberly Spencer (00:41:15) - I think that that that's a huge differentiator because also when you see that giving something away for free, I always use the metaphor of like, do you ever go to a conference, fucking conferences and you get that free goodie bag and like, do you put that goodie bag on your nightstand and you like, look at it every night? Oh my gosh, I'm so grateful for this goodie bag. Like, oh, like, like I cherish this goodie bag. This goodie bag is going to be passed down to my children. No, like half of the stuff you throw away in the trash, maybe you use a candle, maybe you use a little thing. But it's not necessarily deeply valued because you got it for free. Now, there can be those moments where you get something for free. You're like, This is the most value I've ever had in something that was free.
Kimberly Spencer (00:42:00) - Like, This is amazing. Of course, I want to go above and beyond. Of course, I want to lean into what their next thing is. But if you're giving away those things that are, especially when it's in regards to your time for free, you're going to be depleted because there's a reciprocity of giving that happens. And there's also the practice that I've had to learn myself of the practice of receiving, receiving the money received, being able to receive and being also to able to know that if that person is not paying for their services like which they may need to do in order like I'm doing them a disservice, actually, if they're not paying.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:42:39) - Yes. Especially in the coaching space. Yes. It's not, as you know if people don't invest, then they're not going to be invested in showing up and showing up at the meeting. Showing up. Well, if they're like, man, I paid for this. I got to be all in. And you know, you have important work to do with them and they need to show up intentionally and ready to receive, and they're less likely if they haven't paid for it.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:43:00) - So I do think that it is important, like you said, you know, you can give, but if you're going to give anything, you know, you always give your best to the people who are paying. You can overdeliver and give them incredible value and get paid for that. Yeah. And as you're giving, you know, something I realized is, you know, doing I connect meetings that we do in our group, that's great. But it takes a lot of extra work. I have to go collect chairs from my neighbor's family. Do you have enough chairs anymore? You have to go borrow chairs from neighbors, collect them from there every week, and then go return them. Have to clean my house. I have to call and make sure the babysitter can show up. I've got to go to the grocery store and get the food I've got planned. What we're going to talk about, I got right out of the bushes, which is great. I'm happy to do all that, but it takes time for my work, right? And so what was nice is being able to start coaching and charging for coaching.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:43:50) - I've now hired a housekeeper, so I'm not cleaning my house the day before. The housekeeper is cleaning the house before. That gives me a lot more time to give to my connect group, which is free that I pour into because my coaching business is paying for a service that I need to give me more time to give. So it is important that you have that balance you want to continue to give. You also have to continue to receive. There's there's a finite amount that you can give and time and energy. So, you know, I'm actually able to give better because I'm charging for my coaching than before.
Kimberly Spencer (00:44:26) - Yeah, Yeah. I mean, like, I love that you brought up that example because that's that. And then not only that, you are supporting another woman in another way by paying for her or him to clean your house, like by paying for the housekeeper like that is supporting them. I mean, when I started hiring the team I realized that my team, like one of my ops managers, Marie, is so amazing.
Kimberly Spencer (00:44:52) - She has four kids like my this, my job. It changes the game for how you show up for people when you accept that responsibility. And that's why I went a what I work with a lot of entrepreneurs when they're in the solopreneur stage and I was like, I was this way. Like when I first started my coaching business because I had come from an e-commerce company and I was like all, you know, I was president before and I was like, I'm a CEO. I remember I had a Pilates flight because I was dreading doing both at the same time. And I showed him a new business card and they said, CEO on and he goes, CEO what? And I was like. Dagger to the heart like my eye. Suddenly, like I felt like such a broad. And I was like, you're right. Because I had no employees. I had nobody that was relying on me. I didn't even have any customers at the time. Like I just had a business card, like I didn't have a business.
Kimberly Spencer (00:45:45) - And the ability to just recognize like, oh my gosh, that was such a humbling moment. And I'm so grateful for him because recognized that gift of your business, that by it bringing an income you're able to bless other people in other ways. And that's the cycle of generosity and reciprocity that gets like it constantly increases.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:46:10) - Yes. And when you stay in your genius zone, you're able to expand your business. You're able to hire more people and you're able to bless more people, you know. But when we get overworked and overwhelmed and overstressed, that's why you got to really do that mind work in the morning because you've got to stay true to who you are. You've got to stay true to the purpose of your business and why you're doing it. And that's where you saw that's when the magic begins to happen, you know? And so it's important. You have to trust your worth so that you can have the time, and energy to stay in the genius zone. And that's hard. It's hard to be disciplined to stay in that genius zone.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:46:47) - It's so easy to get distracted by all the other things that we think. We don't have any.
Kimberly Spencer (00:46:51) - Shiny objects.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:46:52) - You know, there's so many and it's annoying how many there are. But that's a discipline that you have to learn as an entrepreneur I am not going here like I'm staying in my company and not my comfort zone. I'm not saying my comfort zone. I'm staying in my genius zone. I'm staying and my mind will stay set on this today. My purpose will drive me to be intentional thought. That takes energy. And I just want to say that because like right now I struggle with during this season, I struggle really, really severely with my allergies. It can be super debilitating. I've had three sinus surgeries. It's just can it can really wreak havoc on me. And I notice that it's so much harder for me to stay intentional when I have a Foggy Brain, my eyes are watering. I have a headache. It takes energy to be intentional. And that is why you can't do all the things all the time or you completely lose sight of that intention.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:47:53) - You have to reserve energy in your day for intention, for purpose. You have to take time to re-energize yourself. These are disciplines that you can go to, your talent can take you so far, but without these disciplines, you are going to burn out. You're going to get overwhelmed. You're going to lose sight. You cannot afford to lose sight of your purpose. You cannot steal all your energy on lesser things and not give it to the most important. You have to prioritize and you have to be disciplined to consistently show up in these things or you're going to make it so far. And then you're going to wonder why other people went to the top and you burned out. It's this is truth here. I mean, and I see entrepreneurs do it all the time. They get you all excited. It's so easy to stay focused on the why and the intention at the beginning. But then two years in, when all the work comes they just do that. We do that in all areas of life.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:48:48) - It's so easy to make everything think about your health, okay? Your health is the most important thing, right, almost in your entire life. Because the truth is, unfortunately, without a healthy body in mind, you cannot be good for anybody. In fact, health is above my family and my priorities. And I know that sounds really, really bad, but originally it was, you know, like when everyone tells you in church, like God's family did that. But over the years of constantly doing this work, I realized, wait a minute, like when I would go through my allergy seasons and was like, I can't even show up for y'all. And then I realized, no, during this season, guess what? I have to be on point with my food because my digestive system is a huge part of my allergies. I got to be on point with my sleep, right? I have to prioritize. But how easy is that for us as an entrepreneur to go through our day and go, Well, I've got these meetings, I got this, I got that.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:49:37) - I don't have time to meal prep, I don't have time to eat healthy, whatever. And we do that day after day after day, and then we end up eventually paying for it. And doctors and we're taking all this time off of work because we're we're sick. We do that with our intention. Because what happens is we forget what is most important when it comes to our business. Everything is pulling us. Everything is yelling at us. And real entrepreneurs who succeed in the long term know how to discern what is important from what is not. And they know how to keep their eye on the why. Why am I doing it? What am I here? What is my intention? What is my purpose? And my purpose is people. Everything I do is for people. And if I can just keep my eyes on these women who need their lives changed, it burns in me to change their lives. And you must do this if you want to. I'm just saying, that if you want to make it for the long haul, this is a discipline you must have.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:50:35) - There's just. It's non-negotiable. It's the training.
Kimberly Spencer (00:50:39) - The. I wish more entrepreneurs were athletes because truly, athletes learn discipline. Like I wasn't always a marathon runner. I mean, I couldn't I couldn't run a mile to save my life. I was an exercise-induced asthmatic, but I was 18 years old and I retrained my body to be able to run. Now, six are going to seven marathons in February. But the, um, I started out in dance and dances as much an athletic sport and you have soccer and there is a discipline that is cultivated from a when you start cultivating it like you said, with what you were doing going out in the backyard and practicing, you know, soccer and doing the reps of the discipline and. I think discipline has been lost in many ways and that's why most people don't get to their goals, is because they lose because the muscle of discipline has not been strengthened. So how do you strengthen the muscle of discipline if you weren't an athlete when you were younger if you're not used to getting like going in and going to the backyard and doing that extra mile and constantly doing the practices?
Kimberly Spencer (00:51:54) - I mean, LeBron James, there's a reason why he's so amazing at basketball. He was out there throwing free throws constantly every night. Beyond anybody else. So how do you cultivate that now if you didn't have that early on?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:52:11) - Well, I think that one thing is you need to recognize discipline for what it is. Without it, you will never succeed. Therefore, where does it go on your priority list? Really high up there. So those of you who are going to go out there and say, Oh, I need to start sending weekly emails to my clients, I'm going to go take a course on emails and guess what? You're going to go take that course. And guess what? You're not going to send out emails consistently. You're going to get excited. You're going to send out your first email, her second email, and then by then you're going to get bored and move on and you're not going to have the discipline you just wasted all this time and money trying to do this email thing.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:52:43) - We don't. You need to do it. You need to stop right now and you need to figure out how to get disciplined, whether that's that's what I do. I coach people to show up for themselves. That is what you do. Get a coach, get an accountability partner, prioritize it, and make it the first thing you think about in the last thing you think about every day. Make a checklist for yourself. You have to understand that without discipline, without consistency, and the things that matter for your business, you're never going to reach your potential. It's that important. So if you want to if you want to become more successful, ask yourself, Am I disciplined in the things that move the needle for my business, in my discipline, in my passion, and my purpose? And if you're not, stop adding more stuff that you're not going to show up for and get discipline as a priority. Learn to show up well and discipline is the path to success. And in many ways, it will lead you as you are.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:53:42) - Discipline is showing up. It'll lead you to that person you needed to meet that coffee date that was a game changer for your business. It's showing up consistently. I know it keeps saying the same thing consistently saying this, but it's like, what?
Kimberly Spencer (00:53:56) - A demonstration of the power of consistency and repetition. Yeah. Like even if you are saying the same thing by saying it in a different way and saying it, how you're saying it, it's actually demonstrating the principle which you preach by preaching the principle. Because consistently and in that space, I got to ask, how did you discipline yourself to write a book?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:54:21) - Oh, that's a hard one because book writing is hard because I didn't have a publisher, so I didn't have like, Oh, you need this by a certain date. This was totally all me. And I'll tell you what, when I first started, I thought, I'm never going to I'm never going to have the discipline to finish this book. That was the belief system that I literally had.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:54:40) - It took me three years, I would say probably three years in total because I would touch it and walk away like everything else. This is what I did. I'd get it a little kick and I'd go and then I would drop it. And becoming consistent at the gym finally was a game-changer for me. That's when I kind of had a breakthrough that helped me. And then also something about starting my day in exercising also kind of set my day up well. So that was what I did I got a hold of my first minutes of the morning. And then I got a hold of that hour of the jib and then I got a hold up. As soon as I get back from the gym, I'm going to do a little bit of Bible study mindset, and meditation work, right? And so then I started my first couple hours of the morning, had a hold-up, and then I just kind of started building. It all builds on itself, but then again with the book. It was thinking about the people whose lives it could change.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:55:32) - I mean, a couple of weeks ago, I got an email from a girl. She lost £100 for reading my book. It was that lady that I was thinking about that I didn't know, thinking, could this help somebody? Could this change somebody's life? Could this be what somebody else needs? And so that, I think, is probably what gave me the motivation. I got into a routine of setting an alarm on my phone every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, there's a two-hour time lock. Then what I use, I would leave and go to the coffee shop down the street, get out of my house where I couldn't get distractions. You learn some of these basic things. Here's the deal. When you set your mind to doing something and you make it a non-negotiable in your life, you get really creative because life doesn't let you do something Every, you know, every day, every Monday from 9 to 2, 9 to 11, I'm going to write my book. Well, guess what happens on Monday? My kid gets sick on Monday.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:56:27) - You know, like your money is all of a sudden the Mondays that were fine before getting thrown off of the schedule. So then I had to become creative. Okay, well, I'm going to get so then became instead of always from 9 to 11, it became well, I'm 9 to 11 is my time. But if 9 to 11 doesn't work, then I will do it from this time to this time. And I started making all these backup plans. And that's a huge key factor, is sometimes we set a goal for our business and then what happens is we become all or nothing. Oh, well, it didn't work out at that time today, so I'll just do it another day and we don't do it. But we have to become really non-negotiable in it where we say, You know what, there are 15 ways I could get this done today, not just one way. So if the first way doesn't work, I'm going to do this or that and be creative and still. So I had to be very creative in finding time because it seemed like every time I would get derailed, whatever I had planned, was good for me.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:57:24) - The book writing, I think, was kind of it was one of the last things I did. My book hasn't been out a year yet, so this was kind of one of the last final crowning achievements of like, getting my life together was like, if you can write a book consistently, you can actually show up for yourself, at least for me. I mean, I'm not perfect or anything, but I mean, I have learned a lot. That was one of the last things I've done that really made me. Realize. Okay, I can be consistent.
Kimberly Spencer (00:57:54) - Yeah. Yeah, because it does. It takes. It takes an amazing amount of effort, but also just a commitment to a period of time of saying this is what Because so often we have these word writing. Like I just get really nerdy about words. Like I'm writing my book, I'm building my business. Well, these are all verbs that are like action verbs that like lead on in perpetuity, like they're all A's, all the things they kind of just like lead on.
Kimberly Spencer (00:58:25) - And so you can always be writing your book, you can always be building your business. But at what point what is the done for you? What does it look like? And when is it especially for perfectionists? How did you get to the point where as a recovery perfectionist you were like, The book is done. It is the best it can be. And I'm sure like, have you gone back and looked at and were like, Oh, that could probably have said that better or that like, that could have been better. But you knew at the time that that was the best. Like, when was that moment for you that done? Was the done?
Chelsea Dischinger (00:59:00) - Yes. Okay. Well, a couple of things. One, it was very scary to release it into the world because I know what it's like. First of all, I didn't like that I didn't have this big, you know, company behind me. I hired an editor who had written books, and she's a professor. But, you know, again, but so I was I had to overcome like, you have to be willing to suck in order to get good.
Chelsea Dischinger (00:59:26) - And that's hard for us. And sometimes it's entrepreneurs like we won't tackle something in our business or we won't be brave enough to go out there because like but I'm not good at it yet. You can't become a good writer until you sit down every day and write. And so I just said this. I did my very best and I knew I knew I was going to look back in ten years and be like, Oh my God, Chelsea, seriously? You know, like, I'm so much better. But that's okay. So overcoming that fear of what other people are going to think, are people going to like my book? Look, are they going to hate it? I mean, there's a lot of fear in that. You know what? I'm not going to let fear hold me back. I'm sorry. If you don't like it, that's fine. But there are so many people whose lives have been changed by this book. And also I've been changed by showing up for myself and reaching that dream I've had since I was ten.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:00:12) - Of being an author. I can say I did it. I showed up for myself. It was hard. It was frustrating, but I did it. But also, I'll just be totally honest with you guys. Okay. So when it came to the editing for its release, my Welcome to the World and again like it was hard and scary and all the things. But then I find out that I get this email from somebody like, Hey, Chelsea, just want to let you know that I know you worked really hard on this book, but there's this part in the book and, and you write about 40 minutes that so and I do so I talk about how I was talking about I have a whole one of it's called the five non-negotiables and it's about not negotiating these areas. And one of the areas is health, right? So I'm talking about how I used to have this addiction to sugar and eat all this ice cream. And then when I would eat an entire quart of ice cream, I would end up with gas, right? And so I was like it was like a flagellation fest, you know, And my husband would, like, run out of the room or I don't know, I said something like that.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:01:10) - Well, flagellation is not the same as flatulence, okay? Flatulence means farting. Flagellation, which I wrote is like S&M sex stuff. So apparently I wrote about S&M sex stuff in my book and totally thought I was talking about farting. Hundreds of people have had this not been before. We changed it. And you know what? But don't care. I don't care. You know? So, yes, sometimes we're going to make embarrassing mistakes when we try to go out there. But it's okay.
Kimberly Spencer (01:01:50) - Sometimes we'll just have a little bit of flatulence.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:01:54) - I just. This man. Whatever. I don't know.
Kimberly Spencer (01:01:57) - Oh, my goodness. Chelsea. I have loved our conversation as I love all our conversations. Are you ready to dive into a little bit of rapid fire?
Chelsea Dischinger (01:02:06) - Yes, Rapid Fire it is.
Kimberly Spencer (01:02:09) - Who is your favorite female character in a book or a movie and why?
Chelsea Dischinger (01:02:14) - I have a male character. Male character. That's fine. So I really love William Wilberforce and oh, what is the movie? It is.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:02:24) - He frees the slaves. He. He wanted to be a pastor. And then God told them, No, I want you to be a politician and I want you to end slavery. And for 20 years, he went every year to the Senate. And whatever they have in England, they're they're political people and tried to fight. And he finally freed the slaves. And I just don't know. I just love I love his story. I love I went to England and saw him go to his grave. So I just I'm inspired by him. He showed up every day and fought a fight that he had no chance of winning. And it's a beautiful story.
Kimberly Spencer (01:02:55) - Oh, I love that. I want to know what movie that is. We will find the movie and we will list it in the show. Now, what woman would you want to trade places with, alive or at any other point in history? Just for a day to be in her body, living her mind, and experiencing the world as she did?
Chelsea Dischinger (01:03:13) - Oh, goodness gracious.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:03:17) - Queensland. Awesome. Just to see what then the leadership like how does she run a, you know, run all this stuff in the country and I think could become a fun I mean she's passed but I think that would be amazing.
Kimberly Spencer (01:03:32) - Yeah. What is your morning routine to set you up for an epic day?
Chelsea Dischinger (01:03:38) - Starts with movement getting my butt in the gym, then I do. We kind of talked about this. I have mindset work that I do every single day, which includes Bible study, and prayer. And then I read out my whys and my purpose. I have this whole thing I read every day, and then I usually start my work day after a healthy breakfast. That's like a good morning for me.
Kimberly Spencer (01:03:58) - What is your evening routine that sets you up for the morning?
Chelsea Dischinger (01:04:02) - Usually I check out my schedule the day before. I make sure I know what I need to get done and honestly, just quality time with my family I really love. We try to spend time with them until the minute they go to bed because I work a lot during the day and they don't get out of school till so late.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:04:20) - I mean, there's like a few hours in the evening and then it's bedtime. So family time because it refuels my soul.
Kimberly Spencer (01:04:27) - What do you do during family time? Do you do like, games or just hang out and chat?
Chelsea Dischinger (01:04:31) - So my kids love playing cards. I know that sounds weird. We will play cards at dinner like a few nights a week, so we try to have dinner together if we can. I have a daughter who's super involved in after-school activities, so that makes it really hard. But if not, then as soon as I get home with Reese and all her activities, we just spend time together playing games. We sit on the couch. Last night we watched the presidential debates together. We watched a replay of it. And then we talk about all the things just being together. Really? Yeah. Sometimes we'll go for a walk. We'll take the golf cart out and go drive around the neighborhood. You know, whatever it is, we just don't really have a big thing we're trying to accomplish other than just being together and talking about our days.
Kimberly Spencer (01:05:11) - Yeah. Yeah. I love that Family time is. Is the best. I love. I love. Being able to just have dinner time and around. And it's like one of the things that I found that I just absolutely love being here in Texas is that so many people really, truly, deeply value that family time. I saw the same thing in Australia as well. Just like they work too. They work to live, not live to work. And it's it's a big difference. What do you define as your kingdom or queendom?
Chelsea Dischinger (01:05:41) - Oh, gosh. Well, myself, I guess, like I. I take full responsibility for myself. I take full responsibility for who I'm called to be. I was created for a purpose. And I will say, you know, three months ago, I have my biological dad passed away and he was a druggie. And every day since I was like eight years old, literally, I had prayed and prayed and prayed for him to get off of drugs and find his purpose and find his life.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:06:13) - And he never did. And I think that was part of my biggest part of my grieving was grieving like an unanswered prayer. Like I've really, really believed in hope for him. And so what's become an even bigger purpose in me is I am going to fully live my purpose. Am I on this day? Every day is my kingdom. I own it. I'm taking I'm going to take over it. I'm going to do all I'm called to do in it. I'm not going to waste my time and my energy. So don't know if that's what you're looking for, but that's my thing. It's beautiful.
Kimberly Spencer (01:06:43) - And lastly, how do you crown yourself?
Chelsea Dischinger (01:06:47) - Oh, probably by showing up for myself. It's not just in like, owe me time, but it's showing up well in all the time. The day gives me every minute, whether it's working or with family. I crown myself in every moment when I step boldly and fearlessly into my purpose and I'm all in like that is one of the biggest blessings at the end of the day when I'm like, I showed up.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:07:08) - Well, even if it softer was hard, you know, I showed up well for myself and my.
Kimberly Spencer (01:07:15) - Beautiful Chelsea. How do we contact you and work with you and what do you have coming up that we can join in on?
Chelsea Dischinger (01:07:23) - Well, we have a conference coming up, so I'm so excited. Our very first conference is on Friday, October 20th. I have a book. It's called The Five Non-Negotiables, and you can get that on Amazon. So if you're interested in taking your life to the next level and all the things we talked about, consistency and discipline have whole chapters on those in the book. Yeah. So that's probably the best way to get a hold of me is to check out my book or I have a website. Chelsea. Com. Check out all the things.
Kimberly Spencer (01:07:53) - Amazing. Chelsea it is always a pleasure. I am so excited for the Connect Conference. I will be there. So make sure that you get your tickets. We will leave the link in the show notes if you feel like popping down to New Braunfels, which is outside of Austin, to come in and and come connect with some extraordinary women who are choosing to uplevel their lives.
Kimberly Spencer (01:08:19) - And I just want to say, Chelsea, I am so grateful to you. And when I moved to Texas, I found your connect group and it lit my soul up it. I came home literally driving, being able. I cannot describe the feeling of driving to my home from your event, from just that event in your living room, having connected with so many amazing women who were vulnerable and open and so courageous and transparent and growth minded, and who were there to develop themselves and who were showing up for themselves. And what you have created is truly a testimony of who you are and what you preach. And I am so grateful that I am a part of your community and that I get to be contributing to the success of the Connect Conference. So thank you so much for coming on this podcast and for all that you do in this world. Well, thank.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:09:19) - You for having me. I feel the same way with you. I can't believe that you are my friend and that we get to do life together.
Chelsea Dischinger (01:09:24) - It is amazing and you are a blessing. And thank you for having me today.
Kimberly Spencer (01:09:29) - Absolutely. As always, my fellow sovereigns own your throne. Mind your business because your reign is now. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you, be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend.
Kimberly Spencer (01:09:44) - Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty. And if you're not already following on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown yourself now for more inspiration. I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business and life that rules because today you crown yourself.