Change Your Energy by Changing Your Look with Stylegasm Founder, Jenn Koch
Please enjoy this transcript of the Crown Yourself Podcast, with the Founder of Stylegasm, Jenn Koch [@haveastylegasm] and, your host, transformational story coach, Kimberly Spencer (@Kimberly.Spencer)
Jenn Koch worked in the fashion industry for over 15 years including working in Paris, France, and starting a bespoke women's clothing brand in Bali, Indonesia. She evolved into styling after realizing she didn't enjoy making products but instead loved the deeper interactions with her clients around style. She is the creator of the world's first Style Oracle deck and is also an Energy Mastery teacher. Using these tools combined with her background in fashion, Jenn helps women get in touch with their unique style expression, from the inside out.
Connect with Jenn in all the places:
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/haveastylegasm/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/haveastylegasm
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennifermariekoch/
In this podcast episode, Kimberly Spencer and Jennifer Marie Koch discuss the profound influence of personal style on self-confidence and growth. They explore the journey of self-acceptance, particularly post-pandemic and post-parenthood, emphasizing the need to embrace one's current self. Jennifer shares insights on individualized styling, closet purging for identity alignment, and the emotional aspects of wardrobe choices. They address style as self-care and self-expression, and the role of energy mastery in embracing style changes. The conversation underscores style's role in personal development and navigating insecurities with professional guidance.
*Transcripts may contain typos. We do our best to catch any human or robot errors prior to release. And we thank you in advance for your understanding. Enjoy!
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast platform. And, you can always watch the episode on YouTube here.
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We good? Great. Let's get to the goods.
PODCAST TRANSCRIPT:
Speaker Spencer** ((00:00:00)) - - Hello my fellow sovereigns, and welcome back to another episode of the Crown Yourself podcast. So I don't know about you, but I have been obsessed with dressing Barbies up since I was a child. I don't do it anymore now, obviously, but, uh, I still have a good collection that I'm saving for maybe one day a girl or a, uh, or a granddaughter, uh, who knows at this point. But style has always been a thing for me. I've always loved, really exploring how clothes bring out a personality, and in my various evolutions of growth and transformation between careers and next levels, in relationships and in my body. And all that style has been a constant companion and friend, sometimes frenemy. Back in my bulimia days, when I didn't really love my body so much. But since finding my authentic voice and discovering that that voice within back in 2010 style has been a constant companion and something that I have loved and I know I've. On this podcast, I have shared about how when I was a part of my e-commerce company, my style was shot.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:01:19)) - - Like I got all buttoned up and professional and let's be honest, boring with my style, um, to please others. And coming out of the style closet when I started my Crown Yourself business, it really was an awakening when I actually had to hire a stylist for my photoshoot, because none of my clothes actually fit the vibe of what I wanted to bring forth and crown yourself. And that's why I am so excited to bring to you the style Gasm Queen herself, Jennifer Marie Coach. She is a personal stylist and she is about matching your inner, matching your outer, bringing up the confidence in the room. And she is not for the wallflowers. Her style is vivacious and vibrant and it stands out. And now, of course, if you're thinking like that's not fully my vibe, like I don't necessarily need to have all the sparkles, that's okay, we got you. The point is, in this episode that I really want to drive home and that Jennifer just makes the best. The best case for is how style can be leveraged for your external and internal transformation.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:02:31)) - - Because let's be honest, according to the Moravian communication model, 55% of our communication is physiological, which means it's our body language. It's how we carry yourself, and it's also what we wear. It's how we assess somebody and what they're wearing and kind of make very fast, rapid, two second judgments about them. And if you're struggling in your business or in how you're being perceived in your career, whether it's being perceived to the degree of success that you've had or being recognized for your value, or being able to embody that the beautiful feminine curves that you, you own now as, as a mom, or if it's just your stepping into that next phase of your new business and your new form of leadership and that new venture and the style that you had before may not reflect who you are bringing forth to the table. Now. This episode is for you. Jen has worked in the fashion industry for over 15 years, including working in Paris and starting a bespoke women's clothing brand in Bali, Indonesia. She evolved into styling after realizing that she didn't enjoy making products, but loved the deeper interactions with her clients around style.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:03:49)) - - She's the creator of the world's first style Oracle decks, and she also brings energy mastery teaching into the style and into what she does to really create a transformation from the inside out and for your outside to reflect what you got going on on the inside. With all that renewed confidence and alignment of energy. She is not the girl next door and she is not a one size fits all approach. She leads an extraordinary business in life, traveling all over the world. She was actually our first guest here at our home outside of Austin, Texas, and she really works with the women and some men who are dedicated to growth and excellence in everything they do, including in how they appear to the world, because your perception of yourself is what you're projecting out there and vice versa. So I look forward to you enjoying this episode. Be sure to take a screenshot of it and tag. Have a style gasm and crown yourself now in your screenshot telling us what your style breakthrough is and better yet, show us what you're wearing.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:05:00)) - - Because this is a podcast medium, we can't really see the glorious amazingness of you. And so take a picture in your outfit now. And if this episode deeply inspires you, which I know it did for me to stand out even more boldly as the Queen that I am becoming and already am. Thus the paradox of life. Take a picture of your outfit while you listen to this episode, and let's see how your styled and how you're feeling in your body and your clothes, and what's being reflected on the outside from deep within. Thank you so much. And now I bring you Jennifer Coke. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself. Com. And I'm a master mindset coach, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, known to my clients as a game changer. Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too, can make the income and impact you deserve.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:06:10)) - - Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Jen the style gasm. I just want to dive right in because the name what you named your business was is so orgasmic. Delicious. I mean, it's in there. You know, what was that thing that made you want to go for something that's so bold?
Speaker Koch** (Yeah.) - So before I had style orgasm, I had a brand. I lived overseas in Bali, and it had to made a made to order brand. And that brand was called wildflower. And that just it didn't seem to really encompass what it is that I wanted to communicate. It sounded very bohemian. There's a lot of brands with the name wildflower, and so it planted the seed that a name is super important, super important, and it really communicates the essence of what you're going to be doing forever in that business. So I actually found this woman, she wrote this. She has this business called Eat My Words.
Speaker Koch** ((00:07:20)) - - And I took her workshop and it's called well, her book is called hello, My Name is awesome. I read her book as well and it takes you through this process. I really need to rate her because I've spoken about her so many times. It didn't really taste you through this process of the most important thing you'll do in your business is name it and taking that intention. So it took about a month actually, and I was looking at all these different angles. And really what the essence was, is, are clothes give me so much joy. It's this like orgasmic joy in my body when you I'm wearing this, like double tool dress right now. Um, look, I don't know. Fire. Yeah. And I was like, I want that joy for my clients and for people to be so radiant and so in love with, with how they show up in the world. And so I remember having I remember writing down, because you come up with all these ideas. I remember writing down style orgasm and I just felt I felt like too bold.
Speaker Koch** ((00:08:14)) - - But it's funny. She was in the process. A lot of times you will come back to things, and I remember coming back to it and being like, yeah, that is it. And that I'm really not for everybody. The essence of my brand. It is for a really special person that I'm here to serve, and it's going to be the attractor and the repeller in my brand. And so that is how I got to style. Awesome. I love the boldness because it's definitely not vanilla. And you also unlike other stylists that I've seen or connected with you or worked with, like you have this energy that you bring to the work that you do, like you have your style Oracle cards, you have the energy mastery workshops that it goes. So it's not just it's not just about your closet. What do you bring forth from the essence? What does style bring forth from the essence? Someone's soul? Um, yeah, exactly. When people want to talk to me about what the trends are, what how you should build a capsule wardrobe and, you know, I can have some dialogue around that, but it's something so much deeper than that.
Speaker Koch** ((00:09:27)) - - It's it's really in the true soul expression of who you are and how you show up in the world and and how you can, you know, clear out all the gunk of who you're not really so that you can really be that like full on authentic self, like full stop to like, really, really be seen. Because style is the most underrated personal tool out there for personal development tool. I mean, of course it's important to do I do the inner work as well, but when you do style, you are making a real declaration. If you're going to be wearing something bright and fabulous, like you gotta, you gotta own it. You like really, really got to be that, that, that person. And it's an initiation. I mean, I know like even design getting your first designer piece like that. Think of all the stuff that comes up about stepping into that. Oh, yeah. I mean, I remember when I bought my first designer bag, it was a Louis Vuitton like laptop, briefcase bag.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:10:27)) - - It was like really classic. And I was like, this is what I bought it when I was 18 years old because I just started my first job. I'd saved up to buy it. I was so proud of myself, and I was like, this is what I'm carrying around back then because I was in acting and in Hollywood and screenwriting. So I was like, I'm carrying around my script, I was carrying, and I was like, this made me feel like a pro at. Yes. There were still those imposter syndrome feelings that kind of bubbled up from time to time, or like the feelings and perceptions of like, I shouldn't say this only for special occasions. And the question really hit me of what if that special occasion is today? Because today someone sees I got so many compliments on that bag, like someone sees that and they're like, oh, well, what is it that you do? And that was what sparked conversations. Yeah, it's style is. That it it. I love that you say that it can bring up those limiting beliefs about who you are, what you think you can pull off.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:11:29)) - - And I would venture to say that you can probably pull off more than you think. Oh, absolutely. People will always can, and I hope that's one of the best kept secrets is with style. People approach you, people talk to you. People want to know what it is that that you do. I mean, I'm actually a shy, introverted person, but people are. It makes you makes it very easy. And I I've gotten clients that way. People are curious what it is that I do and they're. Yeah. So much, so much opens up by it's it's like the ultimate like magnetism by showing up and, and of course you gotta do the inner self as well. But yes, the inner self and the physiology as well to be able to carry it. But I too have gotten clients from the conversation starter of my own style. Yeah, especially when I go to conferences. I wear a lot of sparkles and I have the scratch marks to prove after it. But at the same time, like I have had some people say, oh my gosh, I love your shirt.
Speaker Koch** ((00:12:26)) - - And therein that the neutrals that buttoned up professional style and I'm like, well, if you like it so much, like, wow, let's add some spirit to the occasion. So how is it that when you work with walk me through your process of working with a client who is drowning out that tick sparkle, then they're letting shine through? This is a big starting place because people are so much more bold and beautiful and luxurious or whatever wacky, whatever the things than they than they think they are. And if I, as a stylist, were to come to my clients and just ask them, so, you know, how would you like to dress? They probably say, I like to be classic. I like to shop mid-range, you know, like it's like there's there's like, man there. You're so much worth that you're drawn to me and they're drawn to you can really like there's more. Come on, come up. There's more in there. There's more in there. So one of the places I start is with my style Oracle cards that I had here.
Speaker Koch** ((00:13:32)) - - So actually I did develop these years ago when I was in Bali. And they're 52 cards and they really they help reflect something, something even more juicy than that in the subconscious of how someone wants to show up. Actually, I can pull a card for you now. Oh yeah. Because I remember when I pulled my pulled my first card, it was Jenny my or Jan playful. Yeah. Well, and I remember she did this fashion show years ago that I would always watch and I always loved her style. And I look fast forward to now and I'm like, I have the nails, the tattoos, and I'm like, oh my God, I literally I embodied it unconsciously because that was part of the style that I just loved. Reflect reflected in her boldness, inner inner playfulness. So blue card, let's do it. Let's play it just to say the cards were originally based off real people. And then I got into like legal issues that I can't really. So they were based on, like so they have been characterized.
Speaker Koch** ((00:14:29)) - - But your card was like it was originally based off the game. I and I loved her too. Um, so go ahead and pick a number for me in between 1 and 5244. Okay. It's like 43. Also wanted to come out, but 44 was what came out. Wow, wow. You got the you got the deepest card in the deck. And actually this will probably open a lot of conversation for us today. You got this card I love this card. Not anything to be scared of. I'm ready to read your freaking this card. Um. Forgiveness. You embody forgiveness. Your your heart is open to face difficult pain and trauma. You're a compassionate and brave, and your willingness to explore your dark edges. You do the deep work that others are terrified of, yet you don't stop there. You bring the dark into the light for transformation. You're always fighting for a worthy cause, but are also mindful not to fall into depression. It's important for you to stay connected to others and and so you remain optimistic.
Speaker Koch** ((00:15:23)) - - It's no. Well, this is not you. There's someone that this person is like. You're you're you may be drawn to like, edgy fashion styles, like, a lot of black sharp lines, um, various meetings you regularly move on from the past, including old goals, friendships and ways of being no longer relevant. And you love your body. You forgiven yourself or others for how hard you have been on it. Um, and this girl. So this was actually based off, uh, this card. This card was like the beginning of my style journey in so many ways. So this is this is based off this amazing. It's like it's from Iceland. Icelandic playwright who she as a young adult, I think she was in college. She had studied abroad in Australia or. Sorry. No, she had a she had a boyfriend that had come to Iceland and ended up actually raping her. And it being this really traumatic thing in her life and about like 20 years later, they actually her and the guy reached out to each other and were like, we need to talk about this.
Speaker Koch** ((00:16:19)) - - And because it affected. Of their lives in so many ways. The meaning of South Africa. And there's all this, you know, with Nelson Mandela and all this symbology. And it was like for them, both her and him, including him, that for him to be able to forgive himself or for him to be able to forgive the situation. And then they actually wrote a book together and spoke about all the things about like rape and why it happens, and why he thought he could take advantage of her. And, and it's it's a really incredible story about the, the true power of forgiveness. So I know a little bit about SA, I know that you've had you've gone through your own traumas and they've come out the other side and, and just to say, I think a lot of times, myself included, like we're both we just like get each other, you know, we're both we love to be brave. We love to be shiny. But what people don't always know is like how much pain and trauma we actually have gone through and that you're like, you're the light.
Speaker Koch** ((00:17:10)) - - And you're here helping, helping others to get to the other, to share their stories. How did you get to the other side to find your own life? You know, I was actually really lucky in a way. I was I was doing a lot of things in personal development. I had kind of a similar story. It's someone that had taken advantage of me, um, and didn't admit it for a couple of years. And then I remembered what happened. Um, and there was a whole thing where he he was trying to contact me for years. There was a lot there was a lot there, but. And I was doing the personal development work. And then one day I just had one of those really miracle moments where he had contact me and, I don't know, I had this visceral thing in my body and I just, I like I didn't have any more anger. I like only had like love and forgiveness. And I wish I could tell you how exactly I got there, I don't know, but I did, and I just felt like a real freedom from all of it.
Speaker Koch** ((00:18:01)) - - And I think when you get to that place, you're just like, you want to help others. I'm like, yeah, what a gift to get to the other side. Were you ever shamed for your style when you were younger? Because I, I know I was for sure, but yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, even still. Yeah. I mean, not that I don't care, but, um. Yeah, yeah. You know, I think it was hard. My sister is not me. And my sister has amazing. My sister is beautiful and has her own gifts and her world. But I think it was hard. I mean, we're very close in age, really 15 months apart. So I think sometimes even still in my family of like other women, I'm not trying necessarily to outshine other people, and it actually makes me uncomfortable when people are like, oh, you're so pretty, and you're so that and in a room full of women, you're like, oh, you know, everyone is beautiful.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:18:53)) - - Everyone's a beautiful flower. They don't have to wear tool and bright pink to, to be beautiful. So I would say there's that, um, you know, just like any of those people, people that don't let that don't get me. They think, you know, whatever they think whatever. That's just, that's on them. Yeah. I think when I was, um, when I was a kid, it was really hard for me to separate when I felt really good about myself and my style, which was a rare occasion, like I felt really I would feel good about my style, but not so much feel good about being in my body for a decade because of my, uh, bulimia struggle from 12 to 20 ish. Um, and I remember those moments when I felt really good and I would style myself in that way, and then I would receive shame. And, oh, it was it was biting. And that experience of, like, learning, the unlearning of the plagiarized programming that other people have said of who you should be, how you should look, what you should wear and what not.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:19:56)) - - I mean, I remember once when I was like, when did I decide that this, like, surfer, um was mine, you know, not. Yeah. But I think that's it's such a beautiful reflection of style in general is what is it that's on the inside that is trying to be communicated. And that for me, um, I've always had style. I've always had like just this natural, just sensuality. Like, this is I was an early developer and I loved old movies. I loved fitting clothes, like looking at Marilyn Monroe and Audrey Hepburn and how it, like, perfectly fit their bodies. And it wasn't like this from dumped L.A. and that did come with having to face my own shadows, uh, my own insecurities. Until that, like, now, I don't care now. Like, well, yeah, yeah, I like, but being in relationships in the past where that was shamed of like, oh, you're showing off and oh, you're trying to be this. So when, when clients come to you and they haven't or in an environment where they want to stand out, but maybe there's some people in their life, their that shine, that sparkle, that sexiness.
Speaker Koch** ((00:21:14)) - - Me, they may have maybe just that projection of their own insecurity. How do you navigate those conversations with them? Yeah, I think that's so much why people are so scared about doing this style thing and why they want to. They may just do the fit in through the neutrals or whatever is the what everyone else is doing, but not too showy. Um, yeah. Well, I also I bring in this work called Energy Mastery, which we can talk a little bit about later, but that really helps people to really like shed and let go of a, of a lot of the stories. And there's, there's times where you need to really like pull it out. One thing people do get really triggered by, by certain, um, by certain things around that. Um. So many things come out in the process of style, like if someone has a big one, is insecure around the bodies because it's going to it's going to bring up stuff. And a lot of my clients, I would say even at times majority their bodies are not have changed.
Speaker Koch** ((00:22:12)) - - Um, post pandemic, post kids and a lot like one of the biggest things I hear is, well, I should lose £20 first. And for the people who are really willing to like walk through that and realize that they don't, they don't need to, um, and that embrace exactly where you are. But yeah, things come up, things come up around. One is to say we go like step by step. It's not like I just like, throw people into the wild. Like, all right, now you got to go, like, wear a ball gown. And you know, that's what I'm getting. But bikini on the beach. But, um, I think in my process it is really a, it's such an individualized journey that I'm taking somebody on and we're going like step by step by step. And again, some people have some more sensitivities, you know, or a lot sometimes, um. That really is like as we really, as they really get themselves out there it is.
Speaker Koch** ((00:23:04)) - - That full embodiment of themselves. So I think by the time that we really get there, they're like, this is me, and this is who I've always wanted to be. And, you know, just like I have a client and. She's very she's a high profile person and we're kind of in this group together. I'm, I'm like a young I'm a lot of people are retired and older and stuff in the group and anyways. But she's she said to me one time like she's like, you know, there's other women. Other women here are like jealous of you. And I was like, I don't even notice. I don't even care. So, you know, you can get to the point of like that's on them, you know? Um, so helping. Yeah, I think I think like like when you, when you're fully in you, you feel really good and you just don't know. All other stuff just melts away. And honestly, I believe that if you keep shining your light.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:23:53)) - - It's that that's permeating their own plagiarized programming, which is hard to look at, but it's still creating that that shell of who they were thought taught or thought that they shouldn't. Yeah, but it's an uncomfortable conversation when you're being cracked open. Yeah. And mostly, you know, an uncomfortable conversation with yourself. Yeah. Look at yourself in the mirror. But. I mean two. I thought of you the other day of of your concept of like, just start where you're at and because for me post babies, post second baby, there's just been with all the change and stress of all the things of moving and and whatnot, like there's been some poundage that have stayed on. And I look at my body and I still like having done that deep inner work for a decade, over a decade. I look at him like, yeah, so I can still look back and beautiful and know that there are some clothes in my closet that I don't fit into, and that's okay. And do I have a goal that I need to be like, get to that point? No.
Speaker Koch** ((00:25:03)) - - Not necessarily. Some of those clothes have really amazing memories attached and I just don't let go of them. Um, yeah. Yeah. What is your thought about the process of closet cleaning and having all the, the clothes of, like, either gold clothes or having clothes that just don't fit where you're out right now, I'm all about the purge. Like I gotta. Yeah, that's what I was on the other day. They're like, oh, you know, like I bought a dress too small to, like, motivate me. And it's like, oh, yeah. No, that's. Oh, man. Uh uh, yeah. Um, yeah, that will be a closet is very symbolic about what's happening in your psyche with your energy. So for people to really look at, okay, is it is it a big mess? Is it chaotic? Does it show all identity? Does it have things from old job, old seasons of life that, you know, really don't reflect who you are anymore? So I am a believer.
Speaker Koch** ((00:25:56)) - - Like we best have a closet that's fully functional that you love. I mean, you don't want to be going into the closet and looking at the things that remind you about when you were, however many paths later. But it's also not to say, yeah, clothes do have memories. And and there's also some things that we do even with muscle testing and stuff about like knowing when some when some things it is really time to like let it go that it that had its life and that you can welcome in something so much better. And then there are also things like there going to be things you're going to want to keep and you may never you know, I think every client's different, but kind of can decide on maybe putting that in the storage unit. Like I had a client that, you know, like the skirt that she wore on her first date with her husband, you know, like things like that. So it's like, well, not can't wear it again, but it can, it can go in like the member will be a, yeah, um, section.
Speaker Koch** ((00:26:48)) - - So, uh, but ultimately I would, I would hope for people that they that your closet, you open it up and you're like inspired and it's easy to put outfits together and it just it you know, you feel elevated with each you know, each time that you get dressed, um, and that it's not haunt, you know, haunting you from who you once were and who you're not going to be anymore. I think that's such specific language as to the energy of things. That's what you said of haunting you, of reminding you, like the dress, that I very clearly it's like hanging in front of you as you walk into my closet. It's this beautiful, sparkly white fitted dress that I don't fit into, but it reminds me of just such a wonderful time. Um, I wore it to the DGA Awards. I got to like. It was right before I met my husband. It was right when, after I'd found out that my film got distribution and I was so excited. So I was like, that dress just reminds me of like, that was the catalyst dress into the light that I was able to create.
Speaker Koch** ((00:27:54)) - - And so seeing it brings me so much joy and I'm like, maybe what? Maybe someday, one day. But I, I have spent enough time to where I'm not putting my pressure, any pressure on myself to fit into that dress again after two children. It is a beautiful reminder to me in memory and like you said about, you know, the shirt that you wore, you know, the shirt that your client were or the shorts when you know, they met their husband. And I'm like, yeah, I have a shirt I can remember the shirt that I wore. It's definitely not my style's peasant top like. Um, but it's it's not my style, but it's definitely like I that that one in my memory box, like, because I just, I know that that shirt so well and I just, it just has such beautiful memories to it. But I think it's, it's about that energy of attachment, attachment to things or attachment to the old identity. And so as you see people shedding their old identity and belief systems of who they are to really claim who they want to be, what are some of the first things that you see go? Is it like underwear? No no no no no no no.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:29:04)) - - Yeah yeah. I um definitely, um, first things to see people go. I would say one is I notice a lot of women are given clothes from their mom, their mother in law, some friend like, oh, that doesn't quite fit. It's not quite my style. And I'm like, oh man, I feel so many people, just women accept like the hand-me-downs. And then like, if that was hanging up in a store, would you buy it? Do you really love it? So that's that's why there's a lot of guilt of like, almost like the, you know, leftover food. You don't want anything to go to waste. So I think when people really they really start especially like talking out like, oh, oh, wow, this isn't me at all. Um, that's some of the first things to go. Um, obviously, post pandemic, a lot of people are getting rid of some of their office attire that just is not going to working from home now, uh, have a different body, um, or, you know, or rather the retired or what have you things changed in their career? People.
Speaker Koch** ((00:30:11)) - - Yeah. I mean, people have some really ratty stuff as well. I mean, yeah, whether it's underwear or, um. Like loungewear. I really. Yeah. Um, really love from I really, I really look at everything in someone's. Class if they're willing and like, we'll do it all. We do your handbags, we do your loungewear. Do your underwear. We do. You know, I'm. We can go through all of it. It's all. It's all important. It's, um, things with. You know, I can often tell by my client's body language when it's time to let something go. Like, I want to look like they're like. Like they just kind of have this like it vibe about them, you know? Um, it's interesting as people often when I'm getting interviewed or something, they're like, oh, you know, what are the you make your clients get rid of stuff or trends, like, it's like, not like that at all. Like I can just tell from them that they're like they're like repulsed by that, that whatever experience brought up with this piece, I have had clients that had a lot of things associated with exes, you know, or experiences that were really painful to look back on.
Speaker Koch** ((00:31:23)) - - It's like, yeah, that's going to go, yeah, like get rid of the laundry war with your exes are serious energetic standpoint that a bring that into your next relationship. Let it go. Yeah totally totally. But the ability to like I think one of the the counters is and I've seen this a lot in the, in the coaching space and in the because especially when you're working with such good hearted people who want to be of service to the world, there's a concept around style that it's materialistic and that all about service really spawned to that. I know you're so like solid and then and energetically in tune. Yeah. Well style is the expression of your inner, your inner, the outer. And I probably, depending on the person, talk about different experiences of clients that have having most of my clients are, you know, pretty awake humans doing doing something and personal development in, in some regard. And um, it's really that it's really that embodiment of all of, of all it is that you've done before and and walking the walk and talking to the talk, really showing up.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:32:38)) - - And so many of my clients are like, they've gotten to the point where they are successful. They they are, you know, they run a lot of, you know, have to manage lots of people, lots of things in the business. There's, there's they have a very full life. And yet. They can. When you look at style, there's like it's showing signs that they're actually hiding. They're actually putting themselves like lower on the priority list. And. How much really shifts when when they use style, as you know, use it as self-care. Like take care of themselves first everyday, feel like, feel amazing each day, being willing to like go out there and really be seen and not hide behind boring, frumpy, plain clothing. So, um, I think, yeah, so much of what I do. Um. It's very misunderstood. And I think that, you know, people that. They get that nudge. You know, I think people know they get that nudge like, yeah.
Speaker Koch** ((00:33:42)) - - Like there's there's really this is an uncharted territory for me that I need help with. And I just say. Like it's like with any area of life, you want to improve it. Like, um, we go, you know, go help my clients. You know, they they work with coaches, they work with healers, they have an accountant, they have a physical therapist or personal trainer. Like style is not an instinctive thing to most people. So. Be willing to get help with it if you need it. I think that that's so necessary because it. I mean, one of the biggest catalysts of change, and this is something that I work with all of my clients on. Is your environment like you can't change in the environment that made you sick? But he always think of that as like our external environment of like, oh, does that mean I just have to move? No not necessarily. It's like, who are the people you are hanging out with? But also what is the environment of like what's on your body and what is this, you know, 3D form that we're living in.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:34:41)) - - Like, what is that environment? Is it a toxic environment, or are you like poisoning it with a whole bunch of crap food? Um, or what is the environment of the body? What is the environment on your body and what is the environment, your body? Because all of those pieces are catalysts to change. I, um, we had a conversation where I mentioned, like, way back when I was acting. I learned about Laurence Olivier. Oh, yeah. And there was the method acting form where, like, you imagine the character and you brought it up from the inside, but there's also the external, uh, the outside work. And that was how Laurence Olivier worked, was from the shoes up of looking at like, what? What is the character wearing? How do they feel when they're wearing that? Like, there's it brings forth a different energy if you're at a blazer than in a ball gown, than in a, you know, pair of shorts with a sweatshirt. And what is that energy that you're bringing forth in the environment that you're you're creating, that you're actually living in inside your body? Yeah.
Speaker Koch** ((00:35:41)) - - So true. Yeah, I love I love when you told me that. Absolutely. Yeah. Even I had a client recently I interviewed and she was like starting a new business. And, um, it seemed kind of crazy to go. She was like, I knew I need to work with you. She. I worked with her neighbor, and she saw her neighbors transformation, and she was like, wow. It's like the wag the dog, you know, like the clothes that gave her this confidence, you know, kind of like, pushed her to really show up on this, this elevated way because so many people say like, oh, well, I'll just wait. I'll just wait until I am, whatever, get to this next level. Whatever their mind, they think until I do style. And it's like, well, no. But if you use it as the tool to actually show up in that way to get to the next level. Yeah, I think it's it's a common misconception, especially in those who work with, like in a lot of coaches that I see who work with the subconscious mind, it's like, oh, you have to deal with the belief systems first.
Speaker Koch** ((00:36:39)) - - And, you know, why do you like all of those belief systems and subconscious structures like, let's tear down the plagiarize programming. And I'm like, what if you just put on the blazer, like, what have you just worked out? Like, what if you just took your body to the gym and actually activated or took it to a Pilates class and activated your parasympathetic nervous system, because then you're working automatically from the physiology and working the bottom up instead of just from the top down, literally, because it's the that I think a if you play with it in multiple layers to fashion fun. Yeah, yeah, play with it within multiple layers. Your development grows faster. Rather than looking at like, I just need to go deeper, deeper, deeper into this iceberg. And I'm like, well, what if? I mean, I think if the Titanic, I if the iceberg had sunk, the Titanic had been bedazzled, they might have seen it. And move faster. But it's not just dealing with the underside of the iceberg.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:37:42)) - - So I'm gonna. Oh, I love that I love that. So true. So looking at like with that energy that you bring, do you find. That there has ever been an investment with your own energy and your style, with your clients modeling you rather than so much them and who they are. Um, no I haven't. Um, I think really from the world and everything that that that we do, they really. It. It's it's really about, um. Um, I've had some clients that resonate more with my personal style. I have one that, you know, we probably could share clothes kind of thing. And there's been, there's been some like that, but I. I also, I call myself a personal stylist, but in a way I'm really a style coach. I like stylists, I think it's more understood and I think the sound stylist just sounds cool. But I really am bringing that education piece to my clients. And for many of my clients, we work together through our through our journey, and they know how to do this on their own.
Speaker Koch** ((00:38:52)) - - And they may occasionally touch in, you know, sometimes people come back for refreshers or they have something really big on their life. They want that coat, that collaborative process, so to speak. But, um. But yeah, I really believe that people giving people the tools to be able to do this type of thing on their own. So I can't say that anyone would leave and start, you know, dressing like me, I think. Yeah. So someone to look at, where to look at their closet and just kind of have that assessment and have that eye of a tool of how to process through what's, what's not working and what would be what would be the first step for them. Um, so if they so they're going to their closet and they're like this, just this doesn't feel like me at all. I don't know where to sit or whether it's like, oh, I think I, I think I need to up my style. Not sure. I think I need to address how I look.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:39:48)) - - I'm not I'm not being respected. I'm not really feeling seen or heard or validated in my work. Uh. How do I need to be? How do I want to be perceived? Is this really giving me the experience life that I want to have? How would you how would they approach their closet to like, look through and feel or feel through like what's really look okay. Yeah. Well, I mean, one is to say awareness is like a really important first step. So, um, and, and in some ways like. Giving yourself permission to admit where there's misalignment, you know, to like, not try to cover up like, oh, it's okay, it's okay. But to like, really be really like, look at what you don't want to look at for a moment. Like, you know, is important. Um. You know, doing, doing a part in doing some purging in your closet, even even as having someone taking like, you know, those real home diggers in your closet that you're like, look at it like they're just torturing me.
Speaker Koch** ((00:40:53)) - - I've had people that had wedding dresses from their exes. I had someone recently that had all these designer bags from this very toxic ex. And like, I think that's got to go, you know, like, I don't care that it's Chanel, like, buy yourself another one. Um, so really look at, like, the real heavy, those heavy things. And you really have to just put it somewhere else for a moment. Um, I think a really great way, um, to kind of know some of the direction you want to go is look at who you're jealous of. Look, look of, like on social media or like, have that like, oh, man, I wish I could be or, you know, jealous of that can be a little bit of a starting place about what I love that I think jealousy is such a powerful tool because so long as you look at it through the lens of. Awareness that that's something that you actually want. Another thing. My favorite thing to say is like, if she can, I can too.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:41:51)) - - Or if he can't, I want to. And so I might give this if she pull off that, I pull off that as a mom of two kids like like yeah, yeah, yeah. Lee. Ah. Then what else? Yeah. It's like, um. It's kind of like if I have a, I have a number of friends that are professional organizers, and it's sort of like the same thing if you, if someone, if you were someone was coming to them and they have a hoarding problem or they, you know, they have an issue, it's like you would be like, okay, I think, I think you would use you could really use help from a professional. And yeah, for a lot of times with style, people just think like, oh, I can just do it myself. And there again, there is something to be said of like having that person they can like having somebody, whether it's me or another stylist that you resonate with, like having someone to see what you can't see in and taking you on like a step by step journey to get you the result you want because you probably just it's overwhelming.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:42:53)) - - You don't know that, you don't know it, and you just know that it doesn't feel right. And so, um, just knowing that there's a path to to get there and there's many steps along the way. So when someone's dealing with like limitations of their or perceived limitations because. Yeah, but you know, let's be clear with what the limitations are like, whether it's a mobility or weight or some physical part of their body that they're just not fully embracing yet. Um. How do you work around it? Mascot. Do you like. Play it to you. You highlight it. Do you bring that forth into their awareness? Like what's what is the process that could be used? If there are those pieces of ourselves that maybe we still want to consciously be aware of, that we are hiding, and we still want to hide them for a little bit. Yeah. So I bring in this work called Energy Mastery, and I, I, I'm a little one, one other stylist who's really cool that she does some energy mastery, but I would say is like the secret sauce to to what I do because it really, really helps people be like receptive to this process to be able to like, move forward.
Speaker Koch** ((00:44:07)) - - And there's such a shift because when I started as a stylist, I wasn't bringing in energy mastery versus my clients that that I do, uh, it really is the most magical thing. Truly. So, um. The thing. Yeah, I mean things things, things definitely come up with energy mastering. One of them like clean up the energy. And some people have some really heavy garbage crop in their minds and energy mastery. And when you work on the energy, it's like a really elegant and easeful way to. The system run without having to go into light. All the story. I don't need to know all the stories of your childhood. I don't need to find the the. We're just going to, like, clean it up. So, um. I know it's not. It's very. It's very mysterious, but sounds a little like, um, timeline therapy. And as far as one of the processes that I put my clients through, um, to where I don't need to know the con, the content of what is causing the the programming of anger or sadness or fear or guilt or shame, like, I we just need to find in your timeline the point of origin and then go and extract the learnings and going through that process like I've had clients eliminate generations of anger and sadness and guilt and shame, and then had clients had have profound experiences where they were holding on to like a paternal or maternal guilt, and then went back and asked the parents and the parents, like, how do you feel about that? And just it sounds very woowoo it is, but it sounds like energy mastery has that magic of just to identify the context in some way of what's in an, in an energy field.
Speaker Koch** ((00:46:02)) - - Yeah. I mean, we really don't we don't even pinpoint it. We just clean it up like, uh, yeah. We don't even, not not even know what it is. But it's like people all I can say is the results of it of like. I did like I had one of my one of my first clients I did energy mastery on and she had a really bad breakup the year before. She still wasn't over, and that was reflected in her closet. And so we had to work through getting rid of stuff. But I did manage mastery. And she is like, all that grief is just like she moved past it and ended up in a new relationship. It was like a new area of her business she was starting was just like on fire. And I'm like, oh wow. It's just from like working on energy, okay? And I can just tell you, like, story after story. I'm like with my clients. It's kind of a joke that I'm like, it's just I build it in is mandatory because people think it's kind of weird initially, but then their lives get so much better.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:46:53)) - - So I'm like, May as well, you know, are like, it didn't sink at it. Why not? Yeah, you're investing in it in style and all the clothes and gold, you know, might as well have it be a clean slate. Exactly. No. As you. As someone is somewhat able to feel out their energy. Feel for like what? Style is representative of who their soul wants, of how their soul wants to be expressed. Um. Um. Yeah, I. Partly like cleaning up the energy. Like in like the literal of what I do like clean up energy. And we have this, we have this energy field and we pick up stuff and we we all do all day, every day. We pick up stuff. We carry stuff from our ancestors and who knows what. And just cleaning up that container. Um, and, and and when people come to my class, they learn how to do it for themselves so that they can be brighter and shinier. Um, and have those, like, energy hygiene tools, as I would say.
Speaker Koch** ((00:47:58)) - - But yeah, as you if you like, clean up all that stuff that isn't you, I feel like it's like that real self emerges and, and that is really connected with style, because style is the expression of that, of that soulful, that true self. So, um. Yeah, none of that. That makes sense that, uh, if there's a question, it does. Yes. What? What's your favorite part? About the experience that you provide. Um, giving others a style. Yeah. So yeah, I would say it's the ripple effects of. It's like my like. And I love clothes and I can play with clothes all day long and, you know, a lot of clothes. But really, the best part is how much it changes my clients to show up, as have they really are. And then whether that's going and, you know, starting the YouTube channel, going and starting the business, creating a new business, following it, like all these things like ripple out into from their lives, like it, like that.
Speaker Koch** ((00:49:08)) - - Just to see someone, to see someone really. Show up, you know, show up in all their glory and their beauty and, uh. And then there's like, they can go out and serve others and they can go to the thing that they love. And it's like, I mean, that's the best part. I mean, how fulfilling that I get to help, you know, help initiate that. I. Well, you are just phenomenal, Jen. I think we can always swap closets at any time. That is something I think we have some similar style patterns that I see, and I would love to dive into a little bit of a rapid fire to wrap this up. Yeah. So who is your favorite female character in a book or movie and why? Uh, well, I'm obsessed with Emily in Paris. Uh, I mean, I lived in LA. I don't want anything here. I have the bangs, and I got my bangs back, so I just, uh. And people.
Speaker Koch** ((00:50:09)) - - People like. People are always like, oh, you know. Yes. Like, I'm not a big, uh, TV person or. I mean, I don't even know how to turn on TV, but I'm like, I don't watch Netflix, but I watch Emily in Paris. Um, and I think what I love, I mean, you know, she's cheerful and she's optimistic. She wears these, like, bright, fun clothes. It's obviously a bit of a draw. Light is entertaining, but, um, I love that show. So it's a it's a great show. I love the show, and I love the fashion on the show. It's just absolutely beautiful. And who what woman would you want to trade places with alive or cast? But obviously when they were alive, not like currently there, but alive or passed. Um, at any point in history, what woman would you want to be in her body experience how she experienced the world? I think I'm clueless. Chanel would be really okay.
Speaker Koch** ((00:51:04)) - - Yeah. I mean, she was she was so revolutionary. I would just I would be so. Curious. I watched the film about her and, um, yeah, I think she was really cool person. I'd be really curious what went through that. That'd be. So what is your morning routine as a stylist? Yeah, well, I'm very big on, like, morning and night routines, so I guess that was my next question. Oh, okay. So on like my really good day. So I, I wake up and the first thing I do is like I'm energized. I'm doing this challenge for like over a year now. Um, I go and like will like make hot water with lemon and usually in tea. A lot of times I do my grounding exercises and then I do the same meditation. It's like, get something in energy, battery, heal a body, heal a world. And it's it's it works on your energy. But it also it's this beautiful dance of like like you give and receive and then you've had this beautiful flow.
Speaker Koch** ((00:52:05)) - - And I've been doing it for almost two years. Every day that meditation in the morning, it's like 15 minutes. Um, and then, then I would like, pull a style oracle card to inspire, um, what I'm going to wear and get dressed, start my day. Um, and then my evening routine, I take a salt bath. Um, not Epsom salts, actually. Table salt. There's a whole way to do it. It cleans up your energy field. And then I do an energy cleanse on myself. Um, sometimes I don't do it at night and I'll do it in the morning, but ideally, I do it at night. So do you pick up a lot of your clients energy as you go through the day working with them? Yeah, I mean with with energy, like you're always gonna pick it up. I mean, you can there's some things you can do throughout the day to like, help, but, um. Especially if I'm in someone's closet like you're picking up.
Speaker Koch** ((00:52:54)) - - Yeah. It's really important that I rely on my tools. Yeah, yeah, I think like working with working with people and being being out in the world. Uh, yeah, we're going to pick it up. So gotta just learn how to clean it up and clean up that. Okay. Um, what, um, what do you define to be your kingdom? My kingdom like I'm still building it. So I'm also like, I think I'm going through a rebrand or I've been bringing a little bit out, but I went through this amazing photoshoot recently and I'm maybe it'll be out by the time this airs, even though it was about like a new website and it's like, that feels like my kingdom of my new site and really communicating, communicating what it is. You know what I do? It's like on the on the interwebs, my kingdom out there on the interwebs. And lastly, Jenn, how do you crown yourself? Well, I do have a literal crown. You see, I thought about it before.
Speaker Koch** ((00:53:57)) - - I shouldn't have worn that today for you. Um. How do I crown myself? I think I mean, I'm not just saying this because this is what I do, but, like, wearing something fabulous that makes me feel really good for the day and held that one decision, which at times takes ten minutes to get dressed and do my makeup. But how that that ripples throughout my entire day. And that's so different than starting my day, you know, in yoga clothes, you know, and, and that that energy of how I show up, um, makes me feel like a queen. Amazing. Jen, how do we find you? And most importantly, how did we work with you? Oh yeah. So, um, I'm on all platforms on Instagram, have a style gasm. Um, Jen Jen, Jen, K style Gasm on LinkedIn and Facebook. But, um, my site may be up or maybe not me, but you can book a call with me to talk more.
Speaker Koch** ((00:54:55)) - - I also I also host workshops on usually like a monthly basis where you can come in a different show and come experience. I have one coming up this week and there'll be other ones to come, but I like people. Join on zoom and you can like ask me, you know, do a little, uh, play in people's closets. So you actually do closet tours and closet tours? Well, I mean, you know, it's funny, people. I mean, I'm kind of a, like, open book in a way. But, um, I tell people that you can show up to the zoo and your closet, but a lot of people do. A lot of people like their they don't want me to see their closets yet. Okay. I once was on a call and a woman showed up and her offense was in her closet, and she had a whole two walls of shoes, and it was all normal. I love that that's. Oh, Jen, it has been such a pleasure having you on the Chrome Yourself podcast and sharing your beautiful energy and your style with all of us.
Speaker Spencer** ((00:55:54)) - - And as always, my fellow sovereign's on your throne. Mind your business because your rate is. Now let's have a style orgasm together.
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