I’ll never forget the feeling of my head hitting the bathroom wall as I stumbled over the tub, stunned that I’d been pushed violently across the room by a man I loved. I’ll never forget the time I was sitting in a truck at a gas station in New Orleans, waiting on my guy to pay for gas, and a random man stuck his hand through my rolled down window and felt up my thigh. I’ll never forget the time my Krav Maga training came in handy at a nightclub in Vegas, when a man tried to physically restrain me from leaving “his” VIP table.
Yes, when it comes to sexual harassment and abuse, I can say #MeToo.
I say that though not as a victim, because, for me, if I identify with that label (consciously), then it takes me out of my power…and it gives it to those men. Now, I love men. I’m married to a great one and I’m raising great one. My mission, though, has always been for women and as a coach, I focus on the future.
Right now, there is a global shift to understanding and accepting the feminine.
And personally, I find it sooooo exciting. Like I say in my audio course, How to Claim Your Power, if you’re playing the blame-game - no matter whether the blame is deserved or not - you surrender your power and don’t get the opportunity to learn and grow from it. It’s the growth and the learnings that allow us to evolve into greater consciousness and awareness. So instead of focusing on the past, let’s look to the brighter day.
Oprah’s powerful speech at the 2018 Golden Globes aligns with something Eckhart Tolle portended in his book, A New Earth, about the shift to greater balance between feminine and masculine energies. In his book, Tolle wrote about the smothering of the feminine energy around the turn of the millennia during the “Holy Inquisition,” where a women’s status was reduced to being men’s property and bearing children.
According to Tolle, “It was enough for a woman to show love for animals, walk by herself in the field, or gather medicinal plants to be branded a witch.” (A practice which continued for while if you’ve ever watched Outlander.) Before that in ancient Sumerian, Egyptian and even Celtic cultures women were not only respected but revered. But it wasn’t just the early Catholic Church that suppressed the feminine energy. Other cultures and religions - Judaism, Islam, and even Buddhism - also suppressed the feminine. And some, still do.
Yet, since the 1960s, we have slowly seen the tide turn from the past masculine dominated millennia to the feminine.
If you’re into numerology, this coincides with millennia that begins with 1 (a masculine number), and entering into the 2’s (2000s), which is the feminine number. Whether you ascribe to that belief system or not, there’s no doubt the feminine is on the rise.
I truly believe in the power of the feminine energy, which resides in us all - men and women.
For some, even some women, the female energy lies more dormant. I personally have a strong masculine energy, having been described by many of my clients as a “loving ass-kicker.” But my balance reigns supreme with feminine (Uh, hello, I freaking bedazzled Neurolinguistic-Linguistic programming.)
For years, many women have adopted a masculine energy to keep up “in a man’s world."
Sadly, this has only perpetuated the imbalance of energy. While fighting for our rights, we’ve had to tap into that resource, that masculine energy to gain ground.
Now that we have more of a footing, we must watch that this shift to the feminine is done with the feminine energy as well.
What is the feminine energy?
Feminine energy is softer, more sensitive, and community-driven. It approaches situations with curiosity rather than criticism. It creates more of a conversation than conflict. Masculine energy is more mind-centered, that’s why the more feeling-centric feminine energy has, in the past been perceived as unintelligent. The feminine energy embraces all the senses, while the masculine focuses more on self-talk. (So if that inner critic is pretty strong, you’ve probably got a lot of machismo going on there.)
Feminine energy is released by moving your body in a circular motion.
Stiff hips? Tight lower back? Try dancing and feel the freedom of your body moving as she was created to so. Feminine energy is movement - always changing, always shifting. (Like as my hubby says lovingly to me, “I am woman, watch me change my mind). Feminine is flow, motion, movement - that’s why it might be a good idea for us to ditch the pantsuits for a while and see how we can collab in a skirt. Masculine energy penetrates, feminine energy is receptive. So by receiving love, feeling valued, and appreciated, this fuels that feminine fire. While you need both to create human life - the female body is the incubator for creativity and ultimately, birth. You need feminine energy to create. The masculine energy is destructive…and explosive. (Yes, that is meant metaphorically in many ways)
It’s not a competition of masculine vs. feminine, man vs. woman. The very nature of competition alone is singularly masculine.
Swinging the pendulum too far to the other side causes just as much imbalance. An unbalanced feminine energy is hedonistic, present-minded and indulgent with no direction or goals. And it can be seen in both men and women - think mid-thirties, overweight man boozing it up with his buddies while still chasing 20-something tail and still living in his mother’s basement. #NOTSOSEXY An unbalanced masculine energy is all striving, all push, with no fulfillment. And it can be seen in both men and women as well - think harried, overworked, chronically-single female who’s entirely attached to her phone with no downtime to relax, or even date.
If we perceive it as us vs. them, and we truly cry for balance and equality, we must embrace equal parts feminine as we do masculine. They are two haves to the same whole.
I believe there can be a balance - powerful AND soft. Creative AND explosive. Ebb and flow. We’re oscillatory beings and we need our energy to meld in the middle - science AND art, achievement AND fulfillment, logic AND emotional intelligence.
Oprah said it right, a new day is on the horizon. We have yet to see a cultural shift as massive as the one currently taking place toward a more feminine energy. Masculine has dominated for so long.
Will the pendulum find balance? Or will we swing so far in the opposite direction that we lose sight of all the wonderful attributes of the masculine energy: discipline, hustle, forward-moving, goal-driven, practicality?
That’s why I’ve teamed up with the Kelly W. Davis foundation they’re building dorms for beloved daughters, they provide long-term mentorship and counseling to women in Africa who have suffered female genital mutilation (FGM). They also provide a safe haven for girls who run away to avoid this practice. So for every Platinum Package purchased, 10% of the gross will be donated to save women in Africa from FGM.
And for women, and not just because Oprah says so, maintain hope. A new day is on the horizon.