Why You Should Question Everything

“Why mama?” Spike and I hear a toddler say while on our regular hike up Tesmescal Canyon in Pacific Palisades, CA. We look to each other, knowing that our days of Declan’s blissful baby talk are coming to an end. Soon we will transition into toddlerhood, and our son will begin to unequivocally question everything.

And rightly so.

Our questions can facilitate massive change and rapid growth...

Or they can keep us stuck in victim-hood. Questions are powerful.

Look at the difference in the power of these questions:

  • Why does this always happen to me?

  • What can I do differently so this doesn’t happen to me again?

The first question will leave you with a lot of reasons, excuses, and limiting beliefs that keep you stuck.

“It must be because I’m too fat/skinny/old/tall/short/feminine/masculine…” And the list can go on for as many reasons that you can give it. The problem is that takes away ownership or any ability for you to create change.

If it’s somebody else fault, or some circumstances fault, then that completely takes the power to make shift happen away from you.

The second gives you change. It gives you the possibility of new results, new opportunity, new actions.

To understand the difference, we’re going to go back to English 101.

Remember learning about subjects and predicates in grammar school?

The subject is the main thing or person that the sentence is about. The predicate tells you want the subject is doing.

Let’s look at the questions again:

  1. Why does this always happen to me?

  2. What can I do differently so this doesn’t happen to me again?

In the first question the subject is THIS and the “this” is doing you, the predicate. (And, apparently, not in a way that you want to be done.) Continuing to ask questions like this, where you’re putting yourself in the predicate role, keep you benched in the game of your life. Life will always in essence be doing you, rather than YOU doing it.

In the second question the subject is “I” or you, essentially, and the predicate is doing something differently so THIS doesn’t doing you anymore. This question puts you in a position of power and control. You’re in the driver’s seat. You’re the subject and star of your life (as you rightly should be.)

The right questions can unlock everything. The wrong questions can shut off opportunity and keep you trapped where you are.

The Power of Good Questions

No.1. - The Power of Asking Good Questions

According to the Right Question Institute, they’ve found that groups of students and adults think more creatively and freely using questions, rather than brainstorming ideas. This is called “Question-storming.”

If you’re looking to move further forward faster in your life, then asking the right questions, with YOU as the subject will start to generate greater change. These types of questions spark curiosity, generate ideas, and enable you to move forward faster.

“The power to question is the basis of all human progress.” ~ Indira Ghandi

As a rule of thumb, to ask a great question to start moving the needle, ask a question that begins with “What” or “How.” These will give you strategy, tools, and tricks to start taking action on. Questions that begin with “Why” will generally just give you reasons, excuses, and beliefs. While these may be valid, they don’t generally lead to taking new action.

No.2 - The Power of Receiving Questions

Receiving a question gives you the opportunity to do a transderivational search for an answer. It brings consciousness to a corner of your unconscious mind. This can shed some light on any limiting beliefs that can be lurking in the background, any fears that may be hiding in the shadows, or any intentions, positive or negative, that need to come to light.

This is the power of coaching.

A coach guides you through questions, trusting that YOU have the best answers for YOUR LIFE. (Because, let’s be honest, you already have enough people in your life telling you what to do, right?)

Sometimes your answers to create your highest and best self are just locked in your unconscious mind, and you need to free them.

Because sometimes, we can’t do it alone.

There is only so long you can coach yourself. And, if you haven’t seen yourself achieving the results you wanted, as fast as you wanted, then maybe it’s time we worked together.

How would you feel if you had five new tools to radically transform your productivity, courage, and ability to influence in your relationships? What would it be like if in 90-minutes you broke through that wall? Why would you want to miss out on discovering who you could become? That best, most productive, most influential, courageous, Queen who’s crying for freedom.

I’d like to help you discover who that Queen is inside of you.