Please enjoy this transcript of the Crown Yourself Podcast, with your host, transformational story coach, Kimberly Spencer (@Kimberly.Spencer)
In this episode of the Crown Yourself podcast, host Kimberly Spencer delves into the intricacies of manifesting and the subconscious mind. She shares her journey of overcoming bulimia by fostering a nurturing relationship with her body and mind. Kimberly advises against forceful tactics, likening them to bullying, which can lead to negative emotions like shame and guilt. Instead, she champions conscious leadership, discipline, and a compassionate approach to influence the subconscious mind positively. The episode is a blend of personal anecdotes and actionable strategies for listeners seeking to manifest change in their lives with kindness and curiosity.
*Transcripts may contain typos. We do our best to catch any human or robot errors prior to release. And we thank you in advance for your understanding. Enjoy!
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Stitcher, and iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast platform. And, you can always watch the episode on YouTube here.
Before we dive in, boundaries are everything to protecting your energy and your empire, so please note some legal boundaries before we dive into the full episode transcript:
Crown Yourself LLC and Kimberly Spencer own the copyright in and to all content in and transcripts of the Crown Yourself podcast, with all rights reserved, as well as outright of publicity.
WHAT YOU’RE WELCOME TO DO: You are welcome to share the below transcript (up to 500 words but not more) in media articles (e.g., Forbes, The New York Times, CNBC The Guardian), on your personal website, in a non-commercial article or blog post (e.g., Medium), and/or on a personal social media account for non-commercial purposes, provided that you include attribution to the “Crown Yourself Podcast” and link back to crownyoutself.com/podcast URL
For the sake of clarity, media outlets with advertising models are permitted to use excerpts from the transcript per the above release.
WHAT IS NOT ALLOWED: No one is authorized to copy any portion of the podcast content or use Kimberly Spencer’s name, image or likeness for any commercial purpose or use, including without limitation inclusion in any books, e-books, book summaries or synopses, or on a commercial website or social media site (e.g., Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.) that offers or promotes your or another’s products or services, except without explicit consent in writing, from Crown Yourself LLC. For the sake of clarity, media outlets are permitted to use photos of Kimberly Spencer from the Media Room at crownyourself.com/media or (obviously) licensed photos of Kimberly Spencer from Getty Images, etc.
We good? Great. Let's get to the goods.
Kimberly Spencer (00:00:07) - Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself. Com and I'm a master mindset coach, bestselling author, and TEDx speaker known to my clients as a game changer. Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too, can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now.
Kimberly Spencer (00:00:49) - Hello and welcome back to the Crown Yourself podcast. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer. So honored to be here, by the way. Oh, it is a beautiful day. My boys are out. I got to enjoy some gorgeous sunshine here. It's February, but it's just so beautiful. And I was sitting outside reading and doing some journaling and just by the pool.
Kimberly Spencer (00:01:14) - And I was just like this immense wave of just absolute gratitude washed over me. And I am so honored to be here with you today and sharing one of my favorite things because it's all about consciousness and the commands that we have to create our reality. This is not like it is created and it's intentional and you have the power. And I think if we as human beings can recognize our sovereignty and the power that we actually have to create our reality, we would be so unstoppable. And every limitation that we have is just a perceived limitation. There is a really great framework, though, that I wanted to bring to light today as far as how to manifest things because so often we can white-knuckle it and work harder. And I know that that has been the M.O. of many people, especially us recovering high achievers who are the former, you know, the perfectionists and whatnot, who will, you know, we're the doers. We will put our noses to the grindstone. We will do the work that's necessary.
Kimberly Spencer (00:02:32) - And it's a yes. And because there is the law of reversed effort. And what? The law. It's also called the law of diminishing returns. So the law of reversed effort is a universal law and principle. That basically is it's when you start to white knuckle things and like, are you just gonna force it and push it and make it go? Yeah, that doesn't quite work universally. And it doesn't work because our unconscious mind is like a toddler. And I don't know if you've ever tried to convince or persuade a toddler by like, white-knuckling it, and then you know you're going to do what I say. Good luck, good luck. You know, the difference between force and power is force is forceful, and power is divine. And so when I say claim your power, I'm not talking in the like, the masculine sort of patriarchal, like, I'm so powerful. Look at me on my powerful pedestal. No, no. Power is innate. Power is love. True leadership requires discipleship and discipline to disciple someone.
Kimberly Spencer (00:03:41) - It seems like that's where discipline comes from. But if you have been trying to force and push and command like I'm all about commanding the subconscious mind and making very clear, specific commands to the universe as far as what you're manifesting. But if you're trying to command and say, you're gonna obey me. Good luck. Teenage rebellion will set in. And that's when. That's when the self-sabotage pops in. So how do we create a cohesive relationship with subconsciousness, with our own subconsciousness, so that it actually responds? And I'm going to give you an example that is way back to when I was struggling with bulimia. So as many of you know, if you've been listening to this podcast for a hot second, I struggled with bulimia for ten years, from the age of 12 to the age of 22, and it wasn't until the last three years it really everything started to shift for me. One is because I changed my environment. I moved out of the home that I grew up in with my family and my father, who was an addict.
Kimberly Spencer (00:04:52) - So that was a very,, addiction prone environment. So it only fostered my need for this control, which was what bulimia was. And in trying to control, i.e. force my body to do what it wanted, it doubled down and it was like, fuck, you know, you're not doing it. And it gained weight. It doubled down on gaining weight, it blew it up, and it basically created a layer of protection against itself because it was like, oh my gosh, this bitch is trying to force me to do things that I don't want to do. So what shifted was once I moved out of my environment and I started teaching Pilates, and now what Pilates is, is Pilates is an exercise form that activates the parasympathetic nervous system. Yoga. Qigong are also exercise forms that leverage the power of breath, where you're exhaling longer than you inhale in order to activate your parasympathetic nervous system. So what working on the parasympathetic nervous system, especially for someone who's had childhood trauma or any form of trauma, is when you have trauma, you can be stuck in that fight, flight, freeze, response of the nervous system, which is the sympathetic response of the autonomic nervous system.
Kimberly Spencer (00:06:09) - So in training and Pilates, I was physiologically loving my body, training it to rest and digest, still working it like I was known as the evil munchkin when I was 19. Like I would always be like. And then more ladies. Let's go. Oh yeah, and I coached and taught and healed like, which most people were like, who are you? It was a signature brand thing. I didn't realize what I was doing then, but I definitely was making a name for myself in that way. Unconsciously, I knew these principles. And so in the training, my parasympathetic nervous system finally, allowed my body to respond. And your subconscious mind is running your body. And so if you're constantly telling yourself contradictory things like, oh, I need to lose weight, oh, I wish I could look like you. Oh, I, you know, I wish I had this in there. It's always constantly telling your body and your unconscious mind, it's like, oh I don't have that.
Kimberly Spencer (00:07:01) - Oh I am, I don't have what I want. And so it's focusing not on the, not, it's focusing on the not on the not having. And because your unconscious mind does not process negatives, it's like, oh I have this, I don't. So I was telling my body at that time, basically, I was training it in a way that really loved it. It was a way that really honored it to allow it to rest, digest, feel nurtured and supported so that as I started to retrain my mindset in how I was communicating with my unconscious mind, which I didn't know back then, was called an unconscious mind. I just knew I was talking to myself, and I noticed the negative self-talk that I had toward my body where I would say all those things like, oh, I wish I looked like her, I wish I was skinnier, I wish I was this, I wished I was that. Oh, and then I would look at myself in the mirror and I would be judgmental and I would say all sorts of nasty things.
Kimberly Spencer (00:07:56) - Like all the nastiest things that you could ever say about your own body. I would look at myself in the mirror and that's what I would think. And when I started to catch myself in this negative self-talk, it wasn't until I had set the foundation of somatic for my body to actually be able to recalibrate through the trauma that I had put myself through between the bulimia, the challenges, growing up with an addict, the different forms of abuse I experienced, all of that, that I had to set the foundation so my body felt safe and loved. So first and foremost, if you're looking to persuade because everything stems from your unconsciousness, right? If you're looking to persuade your unconscious to start generating new results, because if you don't have the results that you want, that which is conscious manifests happily, that which is unconscious manifests unhappily. If you don't have the results that you want and things are manifesting unhappily in your circumstances, then that is where you have an opportunity to look at like, how can I love myself through this? How do I need to first and foremost make my body feel safe? So fast forward years later after recovering from bulimia with no psychological.
Kimberly Spencer (00:09:07) - Medical intervention. I'm the president of an e-commerce company. We've taken a product to market. We're going for venture capital funding. We're looking at angel investors. I just pitched the first round of Shark Tank auditions. My body is absolutely panicking. At 3 a.m., my hair is falling out. I've gained about £10 and is right before my wedding, and I was sweating and emotionally unstable and not actually taking care of my body. And so the commands that I was saying of, oh, I want to scale this to being a multi-million dollar business, my unconscious mind was going, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, we don't feel safe. It did not feel safe to go for that level of growth. Now here's the thing. No matter what goal you are going for, whether you are going to be, you know, getting involved in a campaign or you are going out and scaling your business or growing your business 300% in the next year, or having a family or expanding your family, whatever.
Kimberly Spencer (00:10:06) - Next level of growth, there is going to be a level of where you push beyond the comfort zone like you're because you're obviously comfortable with what you have, so it's gonna feel scary and different. So the first thing is, you need to set up your physiological body to feel safe, to feel supported because you don't get what you want, you get what you are. So if you're constantly in a state of anxiety, or fear. That is what's going to manifest more into your reality. Instead, you focus on being in a state of relaxation of peace. And sometimes this requires you to actually, physiologically train your body. And I've taught this to many of my clients. One of my clients is an executive producer on a multi-billion dollar franchise, and I taught him this one simple action that changed the game for his day. And it literally was inhale and exhale. And now if you notice the exhale was longer than the inhale, you do that for the 90s and 90s and automatically will switch on your parasympathetic nervous system.
Kimberly Spencer (00:11:28) - So you're not going to feel as stressed. You're not going to feel like you're in the space of force or push, and it's going to allow your body to send the signal of, oh, I'm safe. Once you set the foundation somatic of safety for your body because the body wants to protect itself. It's one of the prime directors of the unconscious mind as it protects and preserves the body. So you have to tell the body in order to manifest anything. It has to feel safe. Now, sometimes growth doesn't always feel safe like it. It definitely can feel scary. And it is like almost getting the butterflies in your brain cannot tell the difference between that which is fear and that which is excitement. So you need to train your body to feel and be at homeostasis where it feels safe, so that when the feelings of maybe it's anxiety, maybe it's excitement come through, you're like, oh my gosh, I'm going for this big thing, or I'm going to give this big speech, or I'm going to get on this big podcast, or I'm going to sign, get on the sales call and close a $250,000 client, like whatever it is for you, letting the body know that it's safe to be able to grow because then you're operating as you are on the other side of your goal.
Kimberly Spencer (00:12:46) - By the time you achieve and receive and have the other side of your goal, that version of you is not fretting over the sales call. It already happened. It went down seamlessly. You totally closed the deal. It's not worrying about that speech that you're going to give. It went perfectly. The audience loved it. It's not worrying about it because it's 15 minutes or sometime in the future after the successful completion of that event. So once you train the body to be at a place of safety, it knows that it's safe, because on the other side of your goal, that's what you're going to be feeling anyways, because you won't have the anxieties and the fears that come with it being in the process of climbing that mountain. Then secondly, once the body feels safe, then it's knowing how to embed suggestions and command your subconsciousness not from force, but from power and from the power of your questions. So Richard Bandler, the founder of NLP, said, the quality of your life will be determined by the quality of the questions that you ask.
Kimberly Spencer (00:13:50) - So in order to create new and this is why people say affirmations, but I actually say affirmations can. One of the problems with affirmations is affirmations can bump up against an unconscious bias and block, which is if the body is physiologically in your body if it does not resonate as true, it will build up a stronger wall against it. And you can feel this in your body when you say an affirmation that. Doesn't resonate like, like it's true for you, 100% for you. So, for example, how you know what resonates 100% is true and right for you, as you say I am. And then you say your name. If you can say I am and then say your name, there's a level of resonance through your body that is saying, yeah, this is this is 100% true. Your heart actually has a resonance. It has an electromagnetic field. There's a resonance that you feel inside of your body. Now, if there is an affirmation like, I am worthy of infinite love and abundance, and that does not resonate as true, then you gotta back up that belief system.
Kimberly Spencer (00:15:02) - So saying the affirmation, if you say, I'm going to make $1 million this year and your body is like, yeah, no, I don't believe it. Whether it's based on past conditioning or a belief system. If you're stating these affirmations and your body is physiologically not resonating at the same calibration level as when you say I am and you say your name, then you're going to build up a greater bullshit wall. Basically, that's against the belief system. So first the body has to feel safe. Then it actually has to feel that what you're going for is actually true and right for you. So that's why I don't actually really like affirmations, I, I have affirmations, which is funny because if you walk into my house, you'll see like on the mirrors, you'll see like different forms of affirmations, but it's not affirmations. As an imam, I have affirmations that are more like commands or reminders. So one that I have on many of my mirrors around my house is 2% better today than you were yesterday.
Kimberly Spencer (00:16:04) - It's a simple command, totally doable. My body is like, yeah, that resonates is true. I can totally do that 100%. It's not. Here's my affirmation of how I'm going to be a millionaire in the next five years. Like that's that would not resonate as true, because even if I'm seeing it, I'd be like, man, why? Because my body knows. So you have to understand how to calibrate and connect with the unconsciousness that is your body in your unconscious mind, which is run by your body, which is why your body can be one of the greatest tools that you have for looking at what goals you're going to achieve, and how likely do you actually believe that you're going to do going to achieve them? Same with any manifestation process. So like when we found our house, I had such immense trust and faith. I was like, yes, it's the right time, it's the right place. It's 100% aligned. Like, oh, and I'm feeling warm as I'm saying this because it just was so 100% true for my body.
Kimberly Spencer (00:16:58) - And it was like the obvious next step. So that obvious next step. And it was done in love and in faith and in trust and just knowing that this is the best thing for our family and for the ripple and for the effect that we're going to create in the world. And it was a win-win, win, win, win, win, win, win, win. That was just an obvious next step. No brainer. But sometimes there are manifestations that you may want to have. And I know I've certainly had goals that I've been like, this is my year of doing X, Y, and Z. And it's like, nope. Like when I had my TEDx talk, like I expected to do my TEDx talk, I was like 2020 TEDx talk happening? Yeah, right. Got stuck in a foreign country, got, you know, locked down all the things. But then 20, 21 came and I got curious instead. So I didn't let the dream die, nor did I beat myself.
Kimberly Spencer (00:17:50) - Which is what happens when sometimes we're using force to try to manifest, which creates the law of reversed effort, because that's when you back yourself up against the law of reverse effort, and then you shame and guilt yourself for not achieving what it was that you said you wanted to achieve. And by when you want this, you know, the arbitrary date that you said you wanted to achieve something by. And when you shame yourself and guilt yourself, and then you're beating yourself up for what? That is what you said you were going to achieve. And that's why if you want a great podcast, listen to the podcast on Am I Being Too Hard on Myself at Work? That podcast is one of our top downloaded episodes. Make sure you listen to that one on how to stop being so dang hard on yourself and have a little compassion. So when you have those goals and those manifestations that don't resonate as true in your body, then that is when you have to start coaxing it. And I like to coax it gently with questions.
Kimberly Spencer (00:18:41) - Now you all know I am not the why question, girl. Why is a question you reserve for therapy or for a purpose unless it's directed in the right direction, why will send you down on a spiral here is every limiting belief, every reason, every excuse, every possibility for for why that thing that you said you wanted to achieve didn't it didn't get achieved like it's going to as soon as you ask the question because your subconscious mind, it wants to serve you. And so when you ask it a question like, why didn't I achieve that goal, it's going to be like, oh, because you failed at this thing. And oh, because that, you know, childhood trauma and oh, here's that other thing. The brain really likes to ask the question why? Because it gives us a lot of reasons, a lot of excuses, and a lot of limiting beliefs, you can go down the rabbit hole and try to eliminate each one. But I don't think that's a necessary use of your time, especially as a conscious leader running and building an empire.
Kimberly Spencer (00:19:29) - I actually think it's much easier to just ask what or how questions, and to say commands in a way that opens a door to possibility like. All you got to do is turn the knob. And if we're going to go biblical, like it says, knock on the door, she'll be open for you. You gotta knock, but the door gets opened. So you gotta just give a little rap rep rap on subconsciousness to be able to say hey, knock to knock like. Open the way. For my $100,000 a month. Or your $1 million a month? Open the door. It's one of my favorite affirmations, for lack of a better word, from Florence Scovel Shinn, who wrote The Game of Life and How to Play. It is open the way. Just open the way. Because now you're no longer forcing. You're no longer like, give me my four clients by the end of this month. Like, it's so gross. It's so, like masculine. Dominant. You're gonna do this for me? Oh, Bay.
Kimberly Spencer (00:20:38) - Bitch, I know besides yourself and your subconscious mind does not respond to that. Like, have you ever said, like, here's what you're gonna do, toddler? Good luck. Like, seriously good luck. So frame it positively in a way that allows it to gently coax you to say, open the way, open the way. Illuminate the path. Show me the people I need to be connected with. Here's the thing I'm going for. How, what, how, and what will give you questions of strategy. Who will direct you to the right people? Because as as,, Dan Sullivan, the founder of Strategic Coach, says it's not how, it's who. So you need to find the who. Who is the person that you need to connect with that maybe could give you that referral or maybe direct you to that potential prospect, or be that contact that could support you in that next thing that you're looking to do, whether it's you need a coach or you need a marketing agency, or you need a sales rep, or you need a new hire, you need a new executive assistant, whatever it is that you need.
Kimberly Spencer (00:21:44) - Allow for it to your commands, to subconsciousness, to your own subconscious mind, which, by the way, is connected to super consciousness, which is spirituality. God, the divine collective consciousness, that divine matrix from which all information and ideation comes. We have to open the door and be able to gently allow for what comes through to walk through. And this is the difference between influence and enforcement. And this is just as valuable as a leader. If you are leading a team, leading a movement, or leading a community, a great leader opens the door to influence instead of enforcing pushing. That's what we call a dictator. And you, my kids, just yesterday, we, were watching The Avengers and,, with Declan and Colton was going to sleep, and I was watching the,, The Avengers with Declan. And it's that moment with Loki comes and he comes. He goes to the opera house in Germany, and he's standing and I, we just paused it, and I said, Declan, that is what we call a dictator because we're actually learning archetypal myths and mythology through the Marvel series, which is really fun because it can translate really well into six-year-old nomenclature.
Kimberly Spencer (00:23:06) - So we learn he got to learn what a dictator was. And I said, does that seem like somebody that you would want to surrender your power to? He's like, no, that's gross. No, no, thank you. And my little double Leo, which is my son. Oh my goodness. He is like a natural leader. Both of them are in their own way. Declan saw that and he got to learn what a dictator was. Well, we cannot be dictators to our own conscious mind. I mean, you can, but you're going to generate the law of reversed effort. So you can't bully, you can't coerce subconsciousness. I did this, I made this mistake when I was 19 years old, recovering from an eating disorder, because I would try to I would try to bargain. I would try to like, bully it, and I would be mad at it. And then I would, I would, I would be mad at myself and I'd unconsciously if I, if I were to describe the picture of kind of what was going on in my mind at that time, it was like I'd be like, bitch, you didn't lose like £5.
Kimberly Spencer (00:24:05) - Come on, come on, what's wrong with you? Like, that was the level of conversation that was going on in my head. Well, the same is that level of conversation going on in your head with any goal that you're trying to achieve like when you don't achieve something, don't do something the right way or the way that you, or you don't get the results that you think you should have. Do you beat yourself up in that way? Well, that's called being a bully to yourself. You're being a bully to your unconscious mind, and thus you automatically put into action the law of reversed effort. So the more you try to push and force and you're like, I'm gonna white knuckle it and make it happen. The more you are deeply attached to the results. And as the Buddha says, attachment is the root of all suffering. So the more you create even greater suffering, which where even if you achieve the goal that you sought to achieve, it's not going to feel good when you're there because it's going to be hard to maintain it.
Kimberly Spencer (00:25:05) - It's going to be hard to hold on to it. The same is true with money. The same is true with business. The same is true with clients. Like, I don't know if you've ever been on the other side of a sales conversation where you've kind of been coerced or bullied into buying. I know I have, some what they call pro marketer sales tactics, where it's like, you know if you don't buy now, you know, your whole business is going to fail or what, you know, bullshit things like that. And there is coercion. And then when you sign up for the program, you feel kind of icky and you're like, oh, I don't feel good being here. I feel shame, I feel guilty, and it literally plays on the lowest vibration of emotion known to mankind. Emotions have a vibration, and shame and guilt are two of the lowest, like shame is the actual lowest next to apathy. So when you are shamed or guilted if you've either been on the receiving end or you know if you've been the one to ascribe to those tactics of negotiation where suddenly you're negotiating and you are or you're in a sales conversation or a conversation of persuasion and influence, and you're trying to coerce or bully or make the other person feel bad for not buying when you get them as a customer.
Kimberly Spencer (00:26:19) - If you do actually succeed in using those tactics, they are going to bring so much resistance they are going to bring. So much misery into the process, it's not even worth it. It is not worth it at all. So just know if you're in any form of a leadership position. Coercing bullying people into doing what you say they should do is the lowest form of vibration possible because it creates shame and guilt, and on top of it, it gets worse. Our little inner child. Our toddler. Subconscious mind. Given a giant fuck you in a few years when it becomes a teenager. So. And that's when the rebellion revolution happened. So let's be very clear about how we are leading consciously. We not only want to be aware as conscious leaders of how we are leading ourselves, leveraging and communicating to our own subconscious mind to get it to align so that we have and create the results that we want to create in our lives. But it also is how are we? How are we handling compassionately and with boundaries, other people's subconscious minds? How are we commanding them? What are we asking of them? When we can look at leadership through that lens, and we see how we are either commanding ourselves or how we are commanding and bringing discipleship in a way of getting people to want to follow you, that's the power of discipline.
Kimberly Spencer (00:28:01) - People will be disciplined in achieving their own results if they have a leader who is leading the way consciously and practices self-leadership, and you will get far more results when you choose to lead from the perspective of compassion and curiosity. The same is true if you're in the process of self-leadership to manifest whatever new results you want to create in your own life, compassion and curiosity are the opposing forces to bullying and coercion. Because curiosity allows for an expansion of ideas, it allows for other possibilities. Instead of white-knuckling and trying to control a situation that only leaves room for the only best right option for what you think is the only best right option for you, versus the infinite amount of potential ways that that something can come to you, and that what you want to manifest can come to you. That's when curiosity opens the door to infinite possibilities. Coercion closes the door so that you control only one possibility personally, and you can choose. You are fully freewill to choose which way you want to do it.
Kimberly Spencer (00:29:16) - I know having done it both ways, which one works the best, like when I used to white knuckle it so my weight and I would force myself and starve myself and work out really hard and four hours a day and all that, because I was trying to get to a certain weight goals so that I would feel good about my body. By the time I even got close to that goal, I felt like crap. I felt like absolute shit because I'd been beating my body up. I would feel exhausted, and weary just from how nasty I was to myself. So if you instead though, approach it with curiosity. And this is where the shift came. When I started getting curious and asking new questions, I changed my environment. So I was surrounded by new people, new voices, all of these clients that I was training every single day, day in and day out for six days a week, about ten hours a day. And that. Curiosity allowed me to be in a new environment of asking myself new questions, where instead of binging and purging and then beating myself up about like, oh, you're so you're a failure.
Kimberly Spencer (00:30:27) - All of those, all of that negative inner critic commentary that I would have rolling when I failed or made a mistake, it would allow me to shift in what was then an eight-year struggle and change my entire identity in two years to where I love my body. I still love my body. I've had two beautiful children. I'm currently, I think, the heaviest I've ever been, not pregnant. And I still freaking love myself. And I feel like I look really good. And I'm, you know, there's certain things that I needed to take care of health-wise. So of course, you know that which is unconscious manifests unhappily. And I looked at it and I was like, okay, so there are some things that I need to process and handle and let go of some grief. Okay, great. But it's not from a place of I'm gonna force you to, to get back into this, this box that I think you should be in. And when I started, what really changed my entire mindset and identity to heal from what then was an eight-year battle and ended up being ten, I changed so radically in those last two years because I changed the environment, and I started questioning my behavior with compassion.
Kimberly Spencer (00:31:31) - So instead of when I would binge and purge, I, instead of beating myself up, would start asking questions like, what emotion triggered? Like what was I actually feeling in that moment? What did I feel that made me feel like I didn't have control? Like what? What's the real thing that I was trying to stuff my feelings down? Like, what feelings was I really trying to eat instead and suppress? And in that process of curiosity and acknowledgment and then making a commitment to, you know, 2% better the next day, that's it. Like, I'm not seeking perfection, but seeking a process of perfecting and seeking that process of perfecting with curiosity. It manifested into me having a totally new body that I absolutely love and adore, that's gone through multiple iterations and pregnancies and transformations that I still honestly look at myself and I'm like, I love you so much, body like, thank you so much for supporting me. The same can be done with your wealth, with your health, with your business.
Kimberly Spencer (00:32:33) - How are you trying to force coerce and bully new results in any area of your life? Versus how can you actually create new results with compassion and curiosity? Because I promise you when you're on the other side of it. And you look back, having approached the process of perfecting with compassion and curiosity to manifest what it is that you wanted. To give you another example. It was, 2015 and my husband and I were house hunting, so we were basically house hunting for eight years in a way. The first year, though, we started house hunting. We were white-knuckling it. We were trying to control the process, and it had to happen the specific way and at this specific time. And if it didn't happen, then what? Then? What happens is we then create a meaning of this is what it means about me. It means I am not making enough money. It means I am not a good homeowner. It means I'm bad at business. All of the meanings that we and our unconscious minds make when we start being hard on ourselves and bullying ourselves into getting results instead of trusting in divine timing to open the door to the best right people, to walk through to the best right moment, to walk through it.
Kimberly Spencer (00:34:00) - I mean, I am so grateful, looking back, that we did not buy a house in 2015, in Eagle Rock, California, because I would be moving in a hot second and then the whole process and staying there, and we would have had to stay there during Covid and hadn't had to have our beautiful, amazing adventure in Australia, like, oh my gosh, thank God it didn't work out. And I look at that with so many other relationships and experiences that I'm like, I look back on certain financial goals that I've had and I'm like, Thank God I didn't achieve them when I was trying to white knuckle it, because had I achieved it, I wouldn't have enjoyed having it so and I wouldn't have been able to share it because I would have been so scared of losing it again. So the process of manifestation, understanding, and trusting that your body to is safe. Training your body to feel safe, to feel the effect of what it feels like after you've achieved the goal, and then understanding the commands that you're giving to subconsciousness, so.
Kimberly Spencer (00:35:00) - And having those commands be from a place of curiosity and compassion and looking at the results and looking at everything, all results, everything that results from your results as data, as like, oh, that worked. That didn't work. Okay, what could I do better? How could I improve? How can I make it better? How can I be more accepting of where I'm at instead of making it mean something about you? And that is how you can radically shift your reality in any way, shape, form, space, or arena to manifest amazing results. Be compassionate with yourself. Trust yourself and let your body know that it is safe in the growth that you want to grow into. So I love interacting with our audience members because it's such an honor to have you here, a part of this podcast and a part of our community. So if you had a breakthrough while listening to this podcast, or if there's something that you're still struggling with and you still have questions on, just shoot a quick email to info at Crown Yourself.Com and I am so excited to support you in your journey. As always on your throne. Mind your business because your reign is now.
Kimberly Spencer (00:36:18) - Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you, be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend. Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty. And if you're not already following on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown Yourself Now for more inspiration. I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode, and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business, and life that rules because today you crown yourself.
The Crown Yourself Podcast is a fast-growing self-improvement podcast, ranked in the top #200 personal-development podcasts in two countries, so far, out of 4.5 million podcasts. Each week, you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity and confidence, so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. To listen any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.
50% Complete
Get notified every Monday and Wednesday when a new episode of the Crown Yourself podcast goes live.