Every bar needs a good bouncer, right? Well, so does your body. Meet my body’s bouncer for the physical act of getting all the knots and negative emotions out of my tissue. In this interview with neuromuscular massage therapist, Heather Harris, we dive into how negative thoughts and feelings affect your body, meta health, and how everything is energy.
There’s a huge difference between being busy and actually getting shit done. But at the end of the month, when you look at your bank account, or your BMI, or your calendar full of date nights (or lack thereof)...
How much has your BUSY-ness pushed you up that ladder toward where you want to be?
In 10 years of working with people, whether it was teaching Pilates or Coaching, let me tell you, being “too busy” is not an original excuse. It didn’t matter whether my client was a housewife with two grown children in college, or a partner at one of the top law firms in the country, every single woman thought she was busy. Too busy to work out. Too busy to take on another project. Too busy to go on a date. Too busy to meditate. Being “too busy” is a popular perception to have.
No one wants to think of themselves as lazy. (Even if their results say that they are.)
So, how do you ensure that your BUSY-Ness and your results are in alignment?
NO. 1 - Connect with your Goal
A lot of times we like to use the “too busy” excuse because we’re really comfortable in our comfort zone. We know how to survive there. Your goal has to be greater than your current comfort level. Because when you start doing ANYTHING new, you’re brain is going to flash warning signals. Danger! Danger!
That’s totally normal. It’s just your amygdala trying to keep you alive. This is great if you’re running away from a tiger. Not so great if you’re stepping back into the dating pool, though. That’s why your goal has to be grander than your current comfort. You’ve got to want that relationship, that body, that promotion more than you want to stay where you are.
NO. 2 - Be Intentional with Your Time
At the end of the day, did you move the needle a little closer to where you want to be. If you want to lose weight, look back on the day and really see if you took the steps forward to achieve your goal. Did you work out? Or did you let those tantalizing office doughnuts best you…again?
If you want to to improve your romantic relationship, did you take that moment in the morning to kiss your love goodbye? Or did you just rush out the door again? Did you send a text letting to that guy to let him know he was on your mind? Or did you fear being perceived as “desperate” and say to yourself, “I’ll wait till he texts me,” again?
NO. 3 - Measure Your Data…Not Your Feelings
Especially as women, we measure our productivity by how we FEEL we did. We FEEL we’ve been busy all day. We FEEL we’ve done a lot. We FEEL like we made healthy choices all day. But I’ve seen men be guilty of this as well. On Sunday, Spike and I did an intense strategy session, planning for our next quarter. We were measuring our results to our time. “But our training was only two week ago,” Spike said. I checked my calendar and looked at the data. “It was a month ago.” Spike was shocked. “Really, it felt like two weeks ago.”
Our feelings stem from your unconscious mind, and your unconscious mind wants to please you. That’s why if your measuring stick is your feelings, you’re measuring faulty data. Measuring the actual data takes some major guts though. It’s not always pleasant to look at the numbers. I used to get into fights ALL the time with my ex. Like, ALL. THE. TIME. At least weekly, if not more. Finally I took a look at the actual data of how many fights we were getting into compared to my ideal, dream relationship (which included, healthy, strong communication). I realized the data my feelings gave me was crap. So I dumped that data as well as my ex. How did I know Spike was the right one? I measured the data. I can count on one hand how many fights we’ve had in over 5 years of being together.
This next week, challenge you to truly take a look at what you’re so “busy” doing.
Every choice you’ve made. Every unconscious pattern you currently have has got you to where you are now. If you want to be somewhere else - richer, happier, healthier, whatever - connect first with WHY you want it. Then be intentional everyday and measure your progress daily or weekly.
And, remember...measure the data, not your feelings.
And watch your life transform from where you are now to where you want to be…rapidly.