Coaching Schmoaching: Why Trusting Yourself is the Real MVP
Please enjoy this transcript of the Crown Yourself Podcast, with your host, transformational story coach, Kimberly Spencer (@Kimberly.Spencer)
Why does a coach take a year off from coaching? In this episode of the Crown Yourself podcast, host Kimberly Spencer discusses her decision to take a break from coaching to focus on self-trust and validating her own ideas. She reflects on her vow to only engage with coaching that addresses immediate, specific problems. Kimberly shares her experience with purchasing a course on building a successful Facebook group, emphasizing the need for actionable results. She also touches on balancing personal and professional priorities, particularly when her son was ill. Throughout the episode, Kimberly encourages listeners to understand their intentions for seeking coaching and to trust their ability to self-coach.
What you will learn from this episode…
- Kimberly Spencer's decision to take a break from coaching
- Importance of learning to trust oneself
- Vow to refrain from hiring coaches not focused on solving immediate problems
- Example of seeking specific, actionable results over generic guidance
- Balancing personal and professional priorities, particularly during family emergencies
- Belief that coaching should guide individuals to find their own answers
- Understanding intentions for seeking coaching and recognizing the season of life
- Assessing the need for generalized coaching or specific frameworks and structures
- Invitation to consider specific outcomes for business and performance
- Emphasis on self-trust, specific support, and understanding one's needs in coaching
*Transcripts may contain typos. We do our best to catch any human or robot errors prior to release. And we thank you in advance for your understanding. Enjoy!
Listen to the episode on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, or your favorite podcast platform. And, you can always watch the episode on YouTube here.
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We good? Great. Let's get to the goods.
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PODCAST TRANSCRIPT:
Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - Why does a coach take a year off from coaching? Not from coaching. Coaching, but from receiving. Coaching. Listen to this episode to know when you need to take your break from listening to other people's opinions. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself. Com and I'm a master mindset coach, bestselling author, TEDx speaker, known to my clients as a game changer. Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too, can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Hey there, I'm Kimberly Spencer, your high-performance coach, and subconscious miracle whisperer, and I have been just loving the transition of being in 75 hard.
Kimberly Spencer (00:01:11) - Earlier this year, I made a vow. Yes, it was a very serious vow. I vowed no coaching. I have spent probably a quarter of a million, if not maybe $350,000 in total on, masterminds coaching, education, learning, business, building all the things. And last year and the year before that, I'd worked with a couple coaches on just supporting me, but. I realized that the problem was, was that I didn't need it. And. I think that one of the greatest gifts that a coach can give is trusting yourself, is teaching you how to trust yourself again. I think that's one of the best pieces of feedback that I've ever gotten from many of my clients, is that they learned how to trust themselves again. And I think sometimes a lot of people find coaching, myself included from time to time when they are in a space of doubt or delay, and that always translates into not fully trusting themselves. And so this year I made a vow that I think it was in January.
Kimberly Spencer (00:02:26) - I made a commitment not to hire or work with any coach or in any program that wasn't specific to solving an immediate problem in my life or business at the moment. So, for example, I bought like a 97, maybe $197 course on how to build a the best Facebook group. And it was by a woman who's built the Women Helping Women Entrepreneurs Facebook group, which is, I think, almost 800 and something thousand members inside of that Facebook community. And I wanted to do this for our sister business, Communication Queens. We are launching the profit from guest podcast interviews free group, where I will be going live once every week to share tips on how you can profit from guest podcasting and leverage guest podcasting as your lead generation. And I want to do that specifically for communication queens. And I wanted something that was going to be taught by the best person in that space who understood that, that modality of building community. So I hired them for a tactile, actionable, immediate result, which was. Within the first week, we had our Facebook group up running and having lead magnets that generated.
Kimberly Spencer (00:03:42) - So far it has not generated income yet, but we will see. It's only been a week. So the goal of me purchasing this course was a very actionable, specific tactile result. It was not. I just need guidance on my life. I mean, hiring to coach to guide through life or generic business is fine sometimes, especially when you're first starting out and needing a little bit of support. Maybe you need some confidence building. I found a lot of coaches, though that I've worked with are great sounding boards. However, sometimes you don't need a coaching sounding board. In fact, sometimes you just have to learn how to listen to yourself and learn how to validate your own ideas and trust that your ideas are good enough. And also trust. Like if you put an idea out there and it wasn't the thing and it does fail that doesn't mean that you're a failure, that you don't identify with that failure. And I know you think may think this is like super weird coming from a coach who's like, not working with a coach because I know there's some beliefs who are like, if you don't have a coach and I know I've said this like so, I think I said this in a video back in 2018 about questions that you should ask your coach before working with them.
Kimberly Spencer (00:04:59) - And one of the questions was, who's coaching you? And I am all for. I can list every single coach that I work with, every single one. And who's coaching me right now is my higher self is my intuition. I'm learning how to listen to myself again. I'm not saying that there isn't value or space or need from for coaching from time to time, or for continuous coaching if it's curriculum-based. Which is why I love our certified High-Performance coaching, which is why our clients love our Queen Bee Leadership coaching, which takes you through your mindset, your systems, your skill set, your branding, your marketing, your sales, your vision, your people, your data like all of these things so that no matter what is happening in your life, you are making progress in every area of your life. This is how our clients go on to get such massive results, like becoming the number one in their industry in the world, achieving their one-year goals of $4 million in bids in three months.
Kimberly Spencer (00:06:02) - This is because we base it off of curriculum, not off of accountability. Generic life coaching where there is just a generic check-in. How's things going? What's your progress been on that project? What's been the struggles this week? I have seen so many and worked with some generalized coaches which have helped me get some insights, but honestly. Prefer a structure. I require a structure because there are days like this past week. Let me give you an example. Colton was super sick. He decided to be an overachiever with getting both a bacterial middle ear infection and hand, foot and mouth disease. Like, I was like, isn't that like a middle age thing or something? No, apparently it's a KinderCare thing that's been going around this past summer. So he was like, my progress on my goals was nothing. Nothing. Okay. Yes, we launched a Facebook group. Okay. Yes, I did make a whole course, like go through a course and launch a Facebook group. Sure, yes.
Kimberly Spencer (00:07:08) - And the main progress that I cared about, though, was that my son was okay. Like I did not care, like I, I, I cared about the people coming into our new community. But my main focus was that my son was okay. I wasn't looking to achieve the next thing because if you know, if you're a parent, like when your kid is sick, it is like all hands on deck and that's all you think about. It's literally everything that plagues your mind. And on top of that, I'm doing 75 hard. And so I was like, well, I don't need a coach to tell me to go out there and walk for 45 minutes up hills. I don't need that. Like I trust in my own resilience, my own tenacity, my own perseverance to do that. Now, I had to do some self-coaching, that's for sure. Because as soon as your child is sick, like if you're a parent or you're someone close to you is sick, suddenly all those goals and priorities that you have, they don't seem that important to you anymore.
Kimberly Spencer (00:08:13) - And for me, 75 hard like I had this. Belief. And like, suddenly all of these fears about being a good mom and what that meant go like to go take time to go work out for me, like all of these old stories and bullshit beliefs came up and I was like, oh my gosh, great. This is my opportunity to work through these beliefs. And I got to self-coach myself. Now in another podcast episode, I will share with you how I self-coach myself so that you can have those same tools. I didn't need to call on a coach for life support. I think that when you call on a coach for support, it should be for a specific tactile thing. Most of my clients. By the time they come to work with me, they have enough figured out where they can self-coach themselves to take 45 minutes to walk up a hill. And then walk back down and then be there for their child. And yes, I had to figure some things out and maybe, you know, maybe in a certain season I might have needed some support in that space of like, hey, I'm thinking of ditching my 75 hard goal.
Kimberly Spencer (00:09:17) - Can you talk me through this? But I've had that coaching. And so it's not to disparage any coaches or anybody who might need that level of coaching. In a time where they're struggling with juggling two very high priorities your own health and the health of your family, loved one or child, especially your child-like spike, I trust. And he'll be fine. But when it's your kid and they're small and they're little and oh my gosh, it just it takes a lot to suddenly be like, you know what, I'm going to prioritize myself. It goes into every form of programming of like, you being selfish as a mom and all those beliefs. And we'll definitely go into those in another podcast episode. But the biggest thing that I want to stick to on this podcast episode is that really checking your intention for when you need a coach and when you don't, when you genuinely just need to learn how to trust yourself more. Now, if you want strategy, if you need like strategy, tactics and the ability to take those micro-adjustments to move the needle for your business, and you need that guidance of like which way should I go? Like, I'm, I'm nervous about this meeting or I'm nervous about this big experience, or I have this big sales call with this potential client.
Kimberly Spencer (00:10:37) - You need to roleplay or talk that through with someone. That's a great time to have a coach, because then you have something specific. But if it's a lot of generalized, like, I just don't feel confident enough or I'm doubting myself, well, for the most part, there are coaches for that that are in a great for those seasons of life. Most people who are either coming to me already have some level of that mastered. They already have some level of confidence built up in their achievements. They're not looking to. Need that hand-holding experience of that person that they can always call on at any moment. I trust that I work with professional people, people who understand when there is a specific problem. I am absolutely 100% there. And yeah, sometimes that problem does circle back to just learning how to trust yourself and learning how to back yourself and not needing that validation. But that's how I coach is. I don't coach to validate for you. I coach to have you learn how to validate for yourself.
Kimberly Spencer (00:11:53) - I coach to guide and support you through frameworks that have worked for hundreds of clients, that have supported people in building multi-million dollar businesses, and I coach the professionals. And I think that where I needed to adapt was an understanding. That is okay for me to also seek out that level of specific support rather than looking for generalized coaching. And so it depends on what season of life you're in. Are you in a season of life where currently you need some generalized coaching to just build up your confidence? Or are you in a season of life where you feel like you've got some things really well handled, and you're looking for more frameworks and more structure so that you get to an even higher level of performance, productivity growth, business expansion, profitability. If you're in that second bucket, that's where we get to work together. That's where we go to town, I think, and just skyrocket you so that you can strengthen that muscle of trusting yourself and not needing a coach because you need a coach, but enjoying having a coach to guide and facilitate you to find your own answers.
Kimberly Spencer (00:13:17) - I don't coach to tell people what they need to do. All of my clients have received and achieved their results on their own, and I have also helped facilitate through guidance and questioning because that's what a coach does. I think a lot of coaches approach it from such an accountability standpoint, like most of my clients don't need accountability, and I had to realize that, that I didn't need that either. And I think that that's a huge breakthrough for me, maybe even for you when you're like, wow, I've been working with people when I've just needed to really learn how to trust and needed to trust myself. I needed systems, I needed clear-cut strategies, aligned strategies. I needed to find my own strategy guidance on how to find that, and maybe eliminating some of those self-loathing beliefs and, you know, self-talk and negative emotions and all that stuff. That's what we go to town on because that's how you tend X as you shed the baggage from the old identity. And that's where my clients meet me.
Kimberly Spencer (00:14:24) - So if you feel like maybe this is not your year of no coaching and you're looking for some specific outcomes with your business and some specific outcomes with the level of performance so that you truly tend your leadership. Even tanks for business. Then let's have a console call and let's discuss what it would look like working together. And I'll show you. You'll get a taste. You'll get a taste of how a coach, of how I do what I do. Of how we work together and support you in finding your own strategies. And you will have the breakthroughs and ahas and revelations and OMG, like, how did I not do this before? With a very clear plan. Not just check-in goals that I'll have to, you know, check-in and keep you accountable. Because I trust that you are a grown-up and are fully capable of doing that yourself. But a plan that you can actually enact. And the by enacting that plan, you see quantum leaps and ten results. If that's you, then click down below and book a high-performance consult with me.
Kimberly Spencer (00:15:35) - And I look forward to having a deeper conversation and engaging in that consult and truly, truly serving you to discover the specific solutions that will quantum leap techniques you to your goals. As always, my fellow sovereigns, own your throne. Mind your business because your reign is now. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you, be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend. Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty. And if you're not already following on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown Yourself Now for more inspiration. I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode, and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business and life that rules because today you crown yourself.
The Crown Yourself Podcast is a fast-growing self-improvement podcast, ranked in the top #200 personal-development podcasts in two countries, so far, out of 4.5 million podcasts. Each week, you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. To listen to any of the past episodes for free, check out this page.
