Feeling All the Feels of Grief
Have you ever struggled with feeling all your feelings - you know...even the NEGATIVE ones? Hey, we all have them. We’re human.
Having been in the personal development world for a hot minute, I’ve seen a consistent fear of leaders in the “positive thinking” space who were scared to feel ANYTHING but positivity, light, and happiness.
The problem with that is this:
YOU’RE HUMAN.
AND AS A HUMAN, WE HAVE A WHOLE RAINBOW OF BEAUTIFUL EMOTIONS TO PROCESS.
Just the other day, I was processing my own as I felt #allthefeels around burying my dad this week...finally, right?
Spike found me on the bed crying and our conversation went like this...
Me: "I'm having a really hard time processing that they're going to cremate my dad this week. It feels so final."
Spike: "Just remember, it's not him." My hubby cuddled me close.
Me: (through sobs and tears) "I know, but it's just dust and ash. But, at least if he's bones, it feels like he can rise from the dead...you know like Lazarus...or a zombie."
Spike: "Explain how that's a good thing..."
And within 2 minutes, I go from crying to laughing hysterically.
That’s the beauty of being OPEN to feeling...ALL OF IT.
Grief is a funny thing.
The suddenness of my dad's passing is hitting me more and more as the months go on.
EMOTIONS AND WHAT YOU FEEL AREN'T LOGICAL. IT'S IRRATIONAL. WILD. EVEN I STILL HAVE FAINT GLIMMERS OF HOPE, LIKE MAYBE - JUST MAYBE - THAT'S NOT THE END OF HIS LIFE HERE ON EARTH.
I know it is.
But my dad was my greatest teacher in possibility - showing me that it was possible to change at any age.
His getting sober from alcohol at 70 was like PROOF that you can ALWAYS turn your life around.
Of course, my dad has changed.
He's no longer here in the physical realm - present with his big bold laughs and "let's make a weenie" hugs sandwiched in between him and my mom.
I'm still in the process of learning to adapt to this change though - still navigating what is possible BECAUSE he is gone, and feeling all the feelings that come with that as well.
While I believe in my soul that life is always happening FOR you, I'll be the first to admit that perhaps I'm scared to see the possibility because it means that the reality is that he's gone from this world in that form.
AND THUS "EMOTIONS" + "REASONING" IS JUSTIFYING ZOMBIES.
That’s the power behind FEELING.
Emotions aren’t logical.
They typically aren’t practical.
You can’t bottle them up (for long) or throw them in a box.
You can’t “think positive” out of your emotions.
Just try it and see what happens…
EMOTIONS TRIGGER OUR THOUGHTS.
They are a part of our human experience.
In this week’s Queen TV episode, I share how to process your feelings as a leader.
Whether you’re leading a team, leading your family as a parent, or leading yourself to better health, feelings are a part of the journey.
SUBSCRIBE + WATCH THE LATEST QUEEN TV EPISODE
“Feel ALL Your Feelings, mama!
(A LIFELINE for Positive-Thinking Perfectionists!)
I look forward to reading your comments + learning how you process your feelings to achieve greater performance (and perception) as a leader!
Remember, your reign is now.
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