GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO “TURN OFF” TO FULLY TURN ON

I don’t feel the need to perform. I don’t feel the need to achieve a fucking thing right now.

I am totally 100% content at this moment with just being.

And I’m sitting with the weirdness and the greatness of that.

I MEAN HOW OFTEN, AS A HIGH ACHIEVER, AS PARENTS, AS BUSINESS OWNERS, DO WE GIVE OURSELVES THE PERMISSION TO JUST BE?

To NOT do?

To NOT perform?

To NOT achieve anything other than full presence and enjoyment at this moment?

To NOT “be on” all the time for everyone. 

To NOT need to achieve any goal other than being?

And to actually be 100% content and okay with that?

It’s one thing to compare yourself to others and how they are performing, what they are doing.

It’s totally another thing to compare yourself to a past version of yourself.

At some point we evolve beyond looking to other people to compare ourselves to - we know that’s a lose-lose scenario.

But, comparing ourselves to ourselves - well, how do we escape that?

Especially when we’ve achieved a lot.

Especially when we “know what we’re capable of.”

Especially when much of the world tells us that we are supposed to be these productivity ninjas who “do it all” and we know we can be too...because we’ve done it!

THERE HAVE BEEN AND THERE WILL BE VERSIONS OF YOU THAT YOU WILL REALLY LIKE. 

Not gonna lie, I really like being really productive. 

I really like getting shittons done. 

I really like being in the hustle and the flow and creative flurry of it all.

But, I’ve built up a relationship with this body of mine for the past 12 years after my bulimia recovery, and I will NOT sacrifice that relationship on the altar of a "to-do list.”

I know too well the slippery slope that can happen when we start denying how our bodies FEEL in the present when they are communicating that NOW is the time for rest and rejuvenation. 

Yes, of course, there are some times when we feel like we don’t want to and we do it anyway - because, DISCIPLINE right?

And there are other times when we feel like just getting up and going to that class - even when we don’t take it - was enough to show our commitment and discipline as well as honoring our bodies and where she is in this moment. 

This is the dance, the regular check-in, of how you allow your body to oscillate and give her the grace - heck the humanity! - that she needs to be nurtured.

I have no doubt that I will be up, back in the flurry of the flow of creation.

I also know that I’ll probably be up and at it faster if I surrender to being knocked on my ass and allow my body to space, time, and nurturing to do what she needs to do right now - rest and repair. 

So for now, laying in bed, writing this - this is the flow. 

This is the vibe. Low key. Laidback. Still allowing the message to come through rather than

“forcing” or “pushing” or “making it come out.”

IT STILL GETS DONE. BUT IT’S WITHOUT ALL THE FUCKING PRESSURE OF HAVING TO BE “ON” ALL THAT TIME.

That’s not human.

Nor is it realistic.