Lose Yourself to Gain Everything.

Uncategorized Nov 17, 2020

Confession time: Eminem has helped unlock my soul since 2009.

To this day, Lose Yourself still gives me chills. It is a song that when it comes on, the volume goes all the way up, and suddenly this Fire Rabbit (if you’re familiar with Chinese astrology and a proper double entendre with Eminem’s character in 8 Mile) comes out.

She is fierce.

She is driven.

She is freaking powerful.

Ever have a song that taps you into who you KNOW you are and can be at your soul?

I remember back at the beginning of 2019, Spike, Decky, and I were headed for our yearly review on the beach - Decky, being two was only there for the swings and sweet potato fries.

As we were driving down the PCH, Lose Yourself by Eminem came on, and of course, Spike and I threw it down...because that’s how us Spencer’s roll, yo!

It hit me then, that while 2018 was a year of many amazing firsts, many dreams coming true even, it paradoxically was the year of many challenges, many struggles, and many painful lessons.

2020 same thing.

Early on in 2018, I was going through a break-up. (No, not with Spikey...that man will never let me go.)

It was with myself.

Spike and I were having “couch time” on one of our date nights, and I remember telling him that it felt like I was literally breaking up with my old self.

I’d already gotten rid of a lot of most of her.

But from time to time, she would rear her self-destructive, shameful, guilt-filled, anger-fueled head.

I could feel that for most of 2018, she was trying to have her last stand.

Being way too hard on myself, challenging my relationships with everything - with Spike, with Decky, with my parents, with money, with my business, with bringing on a team, with hormones, with my body, and even with life itself.

Like, literally everything.

It was war between my old self and my future self, and present-day me, back then, was caught in the crossfires.

I was on the side of my Future Self, being sent into battle with my old self.

The lessons and growth were fought for, hard. And I knew in my soul that my old self - who I had been, the identity that had served me up to that point - had to die.

And she did.

I lost my old self and I gained everything.

It was conquering and surrendering at the same time.

In most spiritual practices from Christianity to Buddhism, the concept of dying to oneself, of losing yourself to gain eternal life or enlightenment is the core of the gospel.

But who says you do it just once?

Who says you die to yourself just once?

In my experience, every lesson, every relationship, every new endeavor, every quantum leap, there is a new possibility of dying to oneself - losing a part of you that no longer serves you for where you want to go.

Because the tools, habits, routines, rituals, perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs - heck, even your IDENTITY - that got you to where you are now, are not going to be the same ones that will get you to where you want to go.

Some may, but others will have to die.

Maybe it’s the part of you who BLAMES you for all the crap that happened in the past.

Maybe it’s the part of you who struggles to FORGIVE.

Maybe it’s the part of you who is ridiculously HARD ON HERSELF.

Maybe it’s the part of you who’s trying to CONTROL...everything.

Maybe it’s the part of you who struggles to TRUST.

Usually, they are not the things you see on the surface.

They’re deeper than that.

They are the beliefs that stem from fear, the thoughts that emerge from those beliefs, and the feelings that come as a byproduct of the way you are thinking.

THESE BELIEFS HAVE TO THIS DAY MADE YOU WHO YOU ARE.

Beliefs like…

“It’s bad to brag.”

“I can’t forgive myself”

“I shouldn’t post this because someone might get offended.”

“I’ll just work on my business in my spare time.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t make the investment in my business. I’m sure I can figure it out on my own.”

All of these beliefs are rooted in Fear.

Fear of being judged.

Fear of going into the unknown.

Fear of criticism.

Fear of not having enough.

Fear of not being supported by the Universe.

But if you desire to go further, to uplevel, to climb toward the enlightenment of the Next Level version of your Future Self, you’re going to have to destroy those beliefs, which have made you who you are to this point.

You have to lose yourself to gain everything.

And you got one shot.

You’re letting a part of yourself die, you’re losing a part of yourself - the part that has grown in fear of lack or scarcity - in order to create a new belief, write a new story, and in turn create a newer, better version of you.

IT TAKES GREAT COURAGE TO MAKE THIS SACRIFICE.

And it’s scary AF.

Even Jesus prayed on the night of his crucifixion, “Let this cup pass me by. Nevertheless, let it be as you, not I, would have it."

How often have you prayed a similar prayer?

No one particularly likes sacrifice.

Maybe in the pages of your journal, it translates more like “F*$%! Why is this so hard! Why is this happening to me?”

You didn’t want to go through the struggle.

Deal with the obstacle.

Manage the procedure.

Or deal with the issue.

But the struggle is the same. It’s a contraction.

A labor pain as you birth the next version of yourself.

Yet, also paradoxically you knew, at a deeper, visceral level that this sacrifice, this struggle, this labor pain was a necessity in order to birth that vision you had.

That’s the exciting part.

Whether you’re investing in a coach, or scaling your business, or you’re starting a new relationship with that person who feels like “the one,” it’s scary AF...

IT TAKES COURAGE TO TRANSFORM.

It takes a BRAVE SOUL to choose to let go of who you have been to become who you were born to be.

No one particularly WANTS to lose himself - for there is the fear of “what if you never find yourself again?”

But, what if you find someone on the other side even GREATER?

Transformation requires you to sacrifice your fear and to go into the unknown.

You will only know when you do.

Lose yourself.

Gain everything.

Remember, your reign is now.

P.S. For the brave souls who dare to lose who they have been to become who they were born to be...

For the courageous few who choose to lean into their greatness, letting their past identity of excuses be blown to bits…

For the resilient who forge on, relentless, taking action to move forward, just a little bit more every day…

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