Perfect doesn’t sell. THIS Does.
Remember, back in 2013, when Jennifer Lawrence was just getting on the scene, eating burritos, breaking all the rules, and the equally talented, but seemingly perfect Anne Hathaway, was scrutinized for her perfection. In fact, at one time if you googled Anne Hathaway and “annoying” you’d get 1.5 million search results.
Crazy. So what gives? They both are equally talented. They both won Academy Awards.
What’s the big dif?
Anne Hathaway came across as perfect. Jennifer Lawrence came across as human.
THERE’S A STRANGE PSYCHOLOGICAL DICHOTOMY WHERE THE MORE PERFECT YOU APPEAR THE LESS RELATABLE YOU ARE.
THE MORE HUMAN - MEANING YOU OWN YOUR FLAWS - THE MORE RELATABLE YOU ARE, THE MORE PEOPLE SEE YOU AS PERFECT.
One is your perception of perfection. The other is the audiences’ perception of perfection.
It’s no secret, that high achievers tend to be perfectionists.
We think that we have to have all our stuff figured out BEFORE we can serve and help someone on their journey.
Who are you to share about having a healthy, passionate marriage when you just bickered with your partner the other night?
Who are you to coach on having more joy and more peace in your life when you balled your eyes out at the state of the world last night?
“How dare I coach on high performance with an extra 5 pounds on me!” We think, belittling our flaws to the bone, “I’ll do it when…”
STOP USING YOUR HUMANITY AS YOUR EXCUSE TO NOT SUCCEED WHEN IT IS YOUR HUMANITY AND YOUR AUTHENTICITY THAT CAN ACTUALLY MAKE YOU MORE SUCCESSFUL.
And, look, I get it, as a goodhearted, mission-minded, service-oriented, purpose-driven leader you aspire to be the BEST leader, who walks her talk, who practices what she preaches.
The thing is you gotta OWN the fact that you are on a journey too.
You’re never done perfecting.
You’re never done growing.
Unless you choose to pretend you’re perfect and have everything figured out and have been ordained by God almighty that you are done growing - that’s when you start dying.
THAT’S WHEN YOU NEED A MASSIVE INTEGRITY CHECK.
If you’re broadcasting yourself as BEING perfect, then you ARE out of integrity.
If you’re sharing about how you TOO are on your growth path and have happened to figure a few things out along the way that can serve...THAT is being in integrity.
Your customers don’t want YOU to be perfect. They want results for themselves.
Trying to be perfect is allowing your ego to shroud your light of service.
Instead, share that you too are on your own path, you’ve got your own things you’re figuring out.
I figured this out early on when I first started teaching Pilates.
I was 19. I was still battling an eating disorder. And yet, there I was with this new skillset in a leadership position as an instructor, teaching people how to use their bodies!
I coached them on what I knew - Pilates.
Not on how to eat. Or what to eat. I still hadn’t figured that out for myself. I still didn’t have ownership of that.
And I was mother-effing honest about that.
But, Pilates, THAT I knew and understood. I could get you to feel your body shift and change in ways you never even imagined. And I was freaking good at it.
I got my clients’ results AND I got more clients because I was honest about my own journey. I shared openly my story of not loving exercise before Pilates, being an exercise-induced asthmatic, struggling to run down the block.
Pilates was my process of finding my way back to my body. I shared my love of what Pilates did for my body and my own self-confidence.
I didn’t pretend to have self-confidence figured out - I still was downing bottles of laxatives at night back then.
But, I did have a pathway, and a journey and a tool - Pilates - that was working to strengthen that muscle of confidence.
Within 1 year of starting teaching, I was the highest-paid, most booked instructor at the studio.
Clients came to me BECAUSE I used to not love exercise and I’d found a way to love it.
Clients stayed with me BECAUSE I pushed them in the thing I pushed myself just as hard in - Pilates.
Clients wanted to work with me BECAUSE I was honest about downing half a lemon-meringue pie the night before and was choosing not to feel guilty, but to work it off instead.
People buy your process of perfecting. They don’t buy you as being perfect.
It’s this same reason I have clients coming to me now in my coaching business because I don’t pretend to be perfect.
I call myself out on my own BS excuses, just as much as I call my clients out on their own.
They come to me BECAUSE I have openly shared my journey about struggling with crippling doubt, disbelief, fear, questioning my capability, dealing with Impostor Syndrome, rape, divorce, bulimia, boundaries, business, buy-outs, being multi-passionate, getting tripped up on the HOW...
....Yet, I did.
I’ve figured many things out on my journey - things that my clients are still seeking to figure out for themselves...
Like how to show up authentically…
How to feel vibrant and joyful…
How to push past fear and doubt and get some momentum going…
How to own their skills as a visionary…
How to combine all their passions into one holistic business...
How to believe in themselves again…
How to break old, crappy, self-sabotaging patterns that are no longer serving...
How to show up as a leader for your people…
How to grow a business and get your art/work/services out into the world…
How to stand out in your industry...
How to create boundaries around how you serve…
How to banish the blame and self-criticism when it comes up and instead own your mistake and move forward in faith...
How to charge for and sell the work you do…
How to have the courage to be different, bold, and speak your truth…
How to overcome the “how” of how to do things “perfectly (ah, there’s that word again), and instead just get them done...
I share what I’ve figured out. And I own the things that I’m working on still.
People buy from people.
AND REAL PEOPLE MAKE MISTAKES, HAVE STRUGGLES, FALTER ON THEIR HABITS, FALL OF THE WAGON, LOSE THEIR SHIT, EAT BURGERS, YELL AT THEIR KIDS (OCCASIONALLY), HAVE SPATS WITH THEIR SPOUSES, FORGET TO DO THEIR LAUNDRY, SAY SOMETHING INAPPROPRIATE, F*UP, PROCRASTINATE, FEEL SAD, UPSET, ANGRY, FRUSTRATED AND ALL THE THINGS.
AS A HIGH PERFORMER, YOU JUST DO THESE THINGS LESS THAN THE AVERAGE HUMAN.
...But, if you admit it, you still have done one, or three, or all of these at some point.
Stop trying to pretend that you’ve got it all together.
Stop trying to be the be-all-and-end-all for the people.
And just show up and serve.
Serve with your process of perfecting. And kick “being perfect” to the curb.
You can BE a lot of things.
BE the leader who is on a path of growth.
BE the challenger who helps people rise to their highest and best.
BE the visionary who sees possibility in others.
BE the connector who collaborates.
BE the multi-millionaire version of you.
(HINT: The multi-millionaire version of you still has problems, flops, foibles, mistakes, and is still human)
Own who you are - both the superhuman, high achieving Queen, AND your humanity as a continual work in progress.
REMEMBER YOUR REIGN IS NOW.
P.S. I’m bringing back Pilates, combining it into coaching to UNLEASH all of who you are - every bit of you. The strong, the bold, the confident, the curious, the awakened, the questioning, to help you FULLY ENGAGE in all areas of your life - in your body, in your business, and in your relationships.
IT’S TIME FOR YOU TO RULE YOUR BODY, MASTER YOUR MINDSET, AND SERVE FROM YOUR SOUL…AUTHENTICALLY AF.
Let’s strip away the perfectionist programming together. Discover how you can be more human - vibrant, bold, fearless - and make more money in your business BECAUSE of your glorious humanity...just like J-Law.
HERE’S MY PROMISE TO YOU:
I will NEVER hold you back from being YOU.
All of you.
Authentic. Vulnerable. Fearless. Bold. Ambitious AF.
I want you to claim your reign, own your authentic voice, stand in your fearlessness, so you stand out center stage and show up in your Highest Magnificence in ALL areas of your life.
Let’s strengthen your humanity.
P.P.S. LOVE THIS BLOG? CLICK AN IMAGE TO SHARE IT WITH YOUR FRIENDS ON PINTEREST.
