The Greatest Entrepreneurial Lessons My Dad Taught me.
Dad.
It’s a word that packs a lot of meaning. Ask ten people and you’ll get ten different answers.
For me “dad” means parks, BELIEF, addiction, shame, money, entrepreneurs, possibility, Faith, challenge, change, pain, joy, pride, hope, county fairs, success, failure, sacrifice, police cars, alcohol, screaming matches, forgiveness dolls, provider, numbing, generosity, escapism, creativity, potential.
I grew up with an addict. It felt like I had four dads. And yet, amidst all the multiple personalities and transformations my dad has undergone, he’s managed to grow a business from measly to multi-million dollars a year with my mom. When I called halfway houses back in 2016, they were shocked that he could be such a high-functioning addict. “Truly remarkable!” one woman said.
I saw my parents spend 30 years growing a business. When I was Declan’s age my mom would pop me in the stroller and pass out flyers around the neighborhood for their burgeoning company. I learned the hustle at an early age. I saw my parents save for trips, experiencing not being able to go to some places because they didn’t have any work booked for the next few weeks, I saw faith in action and a vision of possibility for life…among the codependency and addiction.
There was always potential. And purpose in the plan of why I was gifted to them as their daughter. While there were many lessons I had to unlearn from my parents, many of which I will be sharing in my book, Mind Full Meals: How to Dethrone Food Fears and Reign in a Body that Rules, which is coming out on September 2 - yep, my birthday! - there is ALWAYS the flip side of the coin, the other part, the other side.
That’s the Law of Polarity.
Sometimes when you experience trauma, that’s all you can remember, the pain, the hurt, the guilt, the shame, the…all of it…but when you allow yourself to see the beauty, the laughter, the amazing lessons, the grace, the forgiveness beyond the pain, there is magic and transformation on the other side.
So here are the greatest lessons I learned from my dad.
No.1 - Forgiveness is Unconditional
You can’t put parameters on forgiveness. You can put parameters on what behavior you will tolerate. There’s a difference. Forgiveness is grace, it’s God, it’s the healing heartbeat of the Universe. It has no strings and it has no conditions. Otherwise, it’s not forgiveness, it’s manipulation. “I’ll forgive you, if…” No. No. No. Then you’re just repeating sin.
When I staged my dad’s intervention back in 2016, it was one of the most beautiful, healing, hardest three hours of my life. It made me step into being a leader while shaking through every ounce of my being. I did it purely from love, from Soul, and from my own declaration of what I will and will not accept in my life. The forgiveness was unconditional, the relationship, though had conditions. If my dad ever drinks again he loses his relationship with me, with my husband, with my son, DONE. That’s a boundary.
Forgiveness is unconditional. Boundaries are based on behavior.
And behavior can change. Should my dad make the choice to change his behavior to drink again - the boundary stands.
As Alexander Pope wrote in An Essay for Criticism, “To err is human, to forgive divine. All people commit sins and make mistakes. God forgives them, and people are acting in a godlike (divine) way when they forgive.”
Thanks, dad.
NO.2 - “IT TAKES JUST AS MUCH WORK GET A $100 CLIENT AS IT IS TO FIND A $10,000 CLIENT. GO FOR THE $10K.”
As a child, my dad would chronically underbid, allow his customers to haggle him, negotiate down the price, do favors, and their business stayed pretty stagnant for a few years. But then something in him turned on. A switch was flicked. Maybe he had finally gotten sober. Maybe he’d taken a look at his self-worth stuff, I honestly don’t know what it is. But I remember when I was older my dad coming home glowing, excited, and empowered from that place of heart and soul that he got to serve his customers AND get a $20K payday for his business.
I saw that sales can be service and spiritual AF.
When I was first starting coaching and I was seriously undercharging - $100/month for 4 private hour-long sessions, good lord!! - it was my dad who told me, “Kim, it takes just as much work to get a $100 client as it is to get a $10,000 client. You might as well go for the $10K.”
He shared with me how him shifting his mindset to charge more not only changed the game for our family. I remember going from Kmart sale racks as a kid to in my teenage years getting weekly singing lessons at $150 per lesson, in private school, and being able to go out to lunch regularly wherever I wanted. As a teenager, I rarely heard that we didn’t have enough money to go out to a nice restaurant on occasion - while as a child, I heard it weekly.
I learned the evolution of business and the evolution of your “money mindset” changes the game and the ripple effect was massive. My parents started donating more to charities and causes they believed in. They started giving more money to their church. They built a second story onto our house so we could host missionaries.
I learned the power of sales, generosity, and the ripple effect that can happen when good-hearted people make more money.
Thanks, dad.
Which brings me to my third greatest lesson…
NO.3 - MONEY IS A TOOL. YOU CAN WIELD IT HOW YOU WANT IT.
Seeing my parents’ business evolve from measly to multi-millions and the generosity of spirit that came with it was a profound lesson in what money can do for the world when it is in the hands of good-hearted, mission-minded, generous humans.
One of my clients had been struggling with money. He’d never wanted to deal with it. He hated thinking about it. He had massive shame around his debt. Money had always been a source of pain for his family. After working together, he spoke to his wife about his finances and they created a game plan. He started to heal his relationship with money. That conversation alone transformed the dynamic in his marriage.
And, he went from $2K months to $8K months. When I told him that this world NEEDS him to be making more money because his heart is sooooo big, and he has such a profound love for humans developing and growing, and he has such a desire to serve…
That is EXACTLY WHY you have to make more money.
This world needs more RICH people with good hearts and generous spirits.
Because the riches ripple forth to not only you and your family, but to your community, to the world and beyond.
➡️ FREE DOWNLOAD MY “HEAL YOUR MONEY BELIEFS” WORKBOOK ⬅️
Thanks, dad.
NO.4 - “LEARN HOW TO REPLACE YOURSELF.”
For the first decade of my dad’s business, my dad was doing all the work himself. And, he’s an arborist, so it was hard labor - he was climbing up trees, and doing the sales, and doing the cutting, pruning, removing, grinding, hustling, chipping, and blowing. All by himself. Eventually, he started to get a small crew. And THAT was when his business started to grow.
When my mom became pregnant with me, she left her job as a graphic designer to be a stay at home mom. But good luck getting that woman to sit still. She started helping my dad in the office. She started to be the marketing and the sales force to drive more business forward. My dad is by no means a computer guy, so my mom learned the office backend, admin stuff. Eventually she also became one of the few certified arborists in her field, she brought on her sister as her assistant to then do the admin and office work.
I saw their business go from the solopreneur struggle to an actual successful business.
Now they’re replacing themselves again as my dad is mentoring another, younger arborist to slowly fade out his role again of being on the job, to having his business be entirely his mentee’s business. My parents are in their 70s. They’ve been doing this for nearly 40 years.
I learned early on that what keeps your business stagnant is you trying to play all the roles yourself.
My dad is brilliant with customers. He has such a heart for service and a love for people. A natural extrovert and nurturer, with a solid money mindset he’s great at sales. Sure he can identify trees all day long, but his heart is in it for his customers. He found his “Zone of Genius.” Doing the cutting, trimming, managing of the crew, all of that were in his zone of Excellence or competence. And he replaced himself out of those roles with people who those WERE their zones of genius.
I learned early on this simple business rule:
Delegate + Automate = Faster Growth.
Thanks dad.
NO.5 - “DON’T TRADE YOUR TIME FOR DOLLARS.”
When I first started teaching Pilates, my dad was really proud. I was proud of myself. I was earning my own income. I remember making $55,000 in a year and I felt like the wealthiest woman in the world! But, I was working 10+ hour days 5 days a week and a 6 hour workday on Saturday. I was relentless. And after about 4 years, I was getting burnt out.
That was when my dad told me, “Kimmy, find a way to stop trading your time for dollars and you’ll make more money.”
Passive income. Having a team. None of this made much sense to me back then. How do I make passive income teaching Pilates? I mean I really loved working 1:1 with clients.
But I did do the math - I could work 10 hours a day for $30/hour for someone else…
Or I could have my own studio and teach 4 hours a day and retain all the gross profit while making $80/hour. ANd my biz gets to keep the whole $80! I would make more money and have more time to focus on my scriptwriting. No-brainer! That’s when I set out to own my own private Pilates studio. I started teaching out of my home, then after a while, I got my own private studio for 1:1 clients. And I got my first script produced - dream come true!
Work less, make more. What a concept!?!
Then as I started to grow my coaching business, my dad reminded me of that again. In 2018, I created 1 membership program and 9 self-study courses to make money on autopilot and I grew my business 389% in that year…with a newborn.
Thanks, dad.
NO.6 - THE ACCIDENTAL MILLIONAIRE
By the end of last year, my parent’s business had 15 trucks a yard for all their tools, a 15+ person crew. I remember after my dad got out of rehab last year, standing in his yard with him as he was looking at all the things he was going to be selling as he slowly sold off parts of his business, and I marveled there with him.
“Did you ever imagine you would grow your company to this?”
“You know Kimmy,” he told me, “When I first started I spent the first 10 years doing all the world myself, driving around a pick-up truck I borrowed from my dad. I didn’t even realize I was a multi-millionaire business owner until you told me two years ago. I just kept going.”
Yes, with enough persistence, determination, hustle, and TIME, you can grow a multi-million dollar business.
You just have to have the resilience to keep going.
Because with that resilience and tenacity, your success is inevitable.
If you can stumble and fumble your way to a multi-million dollar business, how much FASTER can you grow it with intention, strategy, and vision? Lesson learned.
Thanks, dad.
And a very happy Father’s Day to all the biological fathers, father figures, role models, and fatherly teachers. Thank you for growing us.
May we continue to learn the lessons on the other side of all our experiences.
Now, I’d love to know from you, what lesson from my pops really resonated with you the most. Hit reply to this email and let me know. I love reading your responses.
Remember, your reign is now.
P.S. If you’re a coach looking to grow your coaching business, I’ve got my $10K Client Conversion Tool for FREE over in the Sales with Soul Giveaway. Grab that and countless other kickass resources from other six and seven-figure coaches.