The Literary Love Affair: A Creative’s Journey Back to the Quill
I’m in love. Before coming to Australia, I felt like something was off like I wasn’t being congruent with who I am...like I was missing something. Ever felt like that?
Like, OMG, I’ve created everything I’ve ever wanted - a business I adore, with a family I absolutely love, an awesome Queen team, able to travel the world, live the #laptoplifetstyle - but....why am I not more motivated to go for more? What’s missing in my life?
In the past, I’ve gone down the rabbit hole searching for all those answers in all the wrong places - in men, in food, in looking a certain way, in needing validation from other people. All fruitless, meaningless dead ends.
It’s easy to start swinging for the fences, throwing spaghetti against a wall in moments like this. Maybe this thing! Maybe this thing! Oh, shiny! Maybe this!
But it’s never a thing, it’s about WHO YOU BE.
And if your present self is out of alignment with your Future Self, no amount of doing, or spaghetti, or blank, white wall space will ever feel enough.
So instead, I just sat with it…
UNCOMFORTABLE AF WITH NOT KNOWING.
Ugh. Fine, Universe. I’ll wait...can we speed this Divine Timing up a bit, please!?!
I sat with the feeling for a good month - because I knew what the answer was…
There was someplace in my life that I was out of alignment. Out of integrity. Slightly off purpose.
When you’re living your life with your compass dialed in 100% ON purpose, you get very keen when the magnet of incongruence steers that needle away a few degrees from it’s true North.
It was then that COVID, the pandemic, the whole world came to a standstill and I was on a coaching call with my Revolutionary Empire Builders and it hit me…
WRITE, KIM. WRITE.
No, not that. I argued with myself for a moment - writing?!?
And here’s where all the excuses and all the voices of my past came to play…
I’m a mother, I don’t have time to spend hours writing.
I suck at grammar.
I misspell things all the time (HINT: most highly kinesthetic people do.)
I have missed commas, missed words, missed spellings. I missed a lot of things when it came to writing.
But when it came down to it…
I REALLY MISSED WRITING.
I’d again realized where the painful memories of having berating emails from business partners because I’d missed a fucking comma or confused what should be a comma with a semi-colon. I had the pains of having that ONE subscriber - you know THAT one who points out all you’re doing wrong in your business - shame me for having the audacity to send her an email with a misspelled word.
I realized I still had leftover trauma from months of having my writing demeaned, and demoralized for “not being good enough” for months and months on end. I realized that I still felt shocked and totally inappropriate and unwarranted guilt, sadness, and fucking rage at the people who questioned how I could write a movie about men and motocross. And that, of course, it must have been my director and co-writer who wrote all the male parts, because how could a WOMAN, who looked like my little good-girl, princess self ever write about drugs, guns, sex, and dirtbikes.
The fury poured out and into the pages of purpose.
IT’S BEEN A PASSIONATE, ROUSING LOVE AFFAIR WITH LOCUTION.
The rekindling of an old flame with the written word has sparked more imagination and stripped me naked of the plagiarized programming of my past.
That is what happens when you strip off the magnet of conditioning that steers you away from your True North, and you rewire, realign, and re-build that trust within your soul that…
YES, YOU GOT THIS.
Yes, your heart knows what is right for you, for your business, and for how you freaking define who gets to come into your kingdom of business in the first place.
This thing called life is an ever-evolving process that you never know what lessons and when the lessons from your past are going to reveal themselves to you.
Last year it was with my podcast.
As I was telling my Revolutionary Empire Builders on our Podcast Distribution training this past week - I delayed a year to start my podcast because back then I still was telling myself the story that no one would take my podcast seriously with “princess” in the title. Nearly 90 episodes and thousands upon thousands of downloads later, that story just proves to be more and more B.S. by the day.
I share these stories with you to show you, we are all on a journey - ever-evolving, ever-learning, ever-growing, and it is in the QUEST that we seek the solutions.
They don’t always come in perfect time.
They sometimes take years to reveal themselves.
When they do, though, the sweet, orgasmic release of freedom is met with a palpable, audible sigh of relief from the shackles of fear.
UNDERNEATH THAT BREATH LURKS A ROAR OF A TSUNAMI THAT IS ABOUT TO COME CRASHING FORTH INTO THE SHORES OF TRUTH.
It just needed to take its time to retreat back into the sea of your subconscious to process just how massive, how powerful, and how life-changing the tsunami of change you are going to unleash unto this world…
Until finally that moment comes when you rush forward, headfirst into the shores, sight on the sand and you allow that wave of creativity to churn and turn you chaotically in between the sheets of your imagination, thrashing, savagely like a lover burying into your soul, until you finally land on the shores with a surrendered sigh of peace, of a new beginning, of your next level, and of a new level of love and freedom and joy and purpose than you could have ever imagined.
And then there you are, with who you be, naked and perfect, a star amongst the stars standing center stage with no fear.
Because it’s just You, at the throne of your Soul.
Remember, your reign is now.
P.S. For a great course that I dive waaaaay deeper into the creative energies of the feminine energy in my course, #PowertotheShe. If you’re wanting to tap into more flow, more joy, more of your glorious feminine energy, we decided to ridiculously slash the price so it’s a NO-BRAINER to GET DOWN ON IT now.