What it really means when you're "too busy"

Uncategorized Nov 12, 2020

When I was younger I used to PRIDE myself on being busy, “Better busy than bored,” I’d announce, beaming at my packed schedule with massive gratitude.

I looooved what I was doing. I felt in alignment, so being “busy” never bothered me because it fueled me on a soul level (and work also allowed me to escape dealing with things in my romantic relationships - but that’s another story for another day).

It was about a year into teaching Pilates that I was blessed with a paradigm shift around “busyness.”

I had two clients…

One, a mother of two grown children, both in high school, both with their own cars. She was fully supported by her ex-husband, had no job, no business...and was the most STRESSED OUT HUMAN that I have ever met in my life still to this day.

She would come into her 10 AM Private Pilates sessions with me - her body tight, constricted, with a bloated stress belly to boot. She would complain about how “busy” she was and how much “stress” she had - I mean choosing the RIGHT napkins for the PTA is apparently harder work than I could fathom at my young 20-year-old self.

“You’ll understand when you get older and have kids,” she’d tell me.

Concurrently, I also had a mom who had just made partner in one of the top law firms in the world. Pregnant with her third child, she also taught at one of the prestigious Law schools in the country. And she still had time to make a homemade ladybug cake for her daughter’s birthday party and shop for Louboutins at the same time.

This was my person. I studied her. She’d come in for her 9 PM private Pilates sessions with me - her body limber, a smile on her face. And you know what I noticed?

She never, EVER complained or even mentioned being “busy.”

Sure, she’d say that she had some work to go back to after her workout - at 10 PM that evening.

But she never EVER complained about being “so busy” or even about being “stressed.”

That’s when it hit me -

Teaching Pilates had allowed me to realize that how you THINK about your body determines how you FEEL in your body. It showed me how your MINDSET is everything when it comes to your perception of the world.

Being busy is a mindset CHOICE as well.

HAVING COACHED VISIONARY LEADERS RUNNING MULTIPLE 6-FIGURE AND 7-FIGURE BUSINESSES, I’VE REALIZED THAT “BUSY” IS A VERY VALID EXCUSE.

No human on the planet wants to be considered “lazy.”

I’ve heard people who meditate for 6-hours a day claim that they are “too busy” to do certain things in their life or business.

I’ve heard people who watch Netflix for 6-hours a day claim that they are “too busy” to do certain things in their life or business.

I’ve heard people who have back-to-back meetings ALL DAY LONG claim that they are “too busy” to do certain things in their life and business.

And you know what…

THEY’RE ALL RIGHT.

WHEN YOU LIVE BY THAT STORY OF “BEING BUSY” YOU WILL BE RIGHT. YOU WILL FIND THINGS TO BUSY YOUR TIME WITH.

...But here’s what I’ve found “being busy” to really mean:

No.1 - You Don’t Know How to Prioritize

I was once having a conversation with some friends who were five-figure entrepreneurs, who were constantly making excuses (#letsbehonest) about how busy they were. When I asked them what their priorities were they said that they had a list of 61 different priorities!

61 is not a priority! 61 to me, shows a lack of discipline, focus, and prioritization.

But because they were friends, I wouldn’t coach them and I referred them to a friend who could help.

For me, every day I have 3 priorities.

That’s it…

Work in My Genius Zone
Create Processes and Systems for things that are NOT in My Genius Zone
Be Present with My Family

Now, of course, we have project priorities as well. But multi-tasking or 963 projects show a lack of discipline and ability to DECIDE (which is an entrepreneur’s most essential skillset).

No.2 - You’re Not Asking for Enough Help (aka You Don’t Want to Surrender Control)

Maybe you’re scared to hire a team. Maybe you’re not asking your partner to watch the kiddo for a few hours a week so you can do the MAIN things that bring in money to your business. Maybe you LIKE doing it all because you have this belief that “no one can do it better than you.”

Check yo’ ego, sista, if that’s the case!

HELP DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN PAID LABOR EITHER, IF YOU’RE NOT THERE YOU. YOU CAN GET INTERNS. YOU CAN ASK YOUR FRIENDS. YOU CAN PULL FAVORS.

One of my friends, Ebony Smith, shared exactly how she did that to kickstart her business - and now she’s working with massive corporations and government contracts!

Listen to her episode on The Princess and the B Podcast here.

No.3 - You’re Scared of Being in Your Genius Zone

There she is again - Fear on your throne. It takes a MASSIVE amount of courage to live and operate in your Zone of Genius.

It goes against ALL the past programming of the “hard work” paradigm because it just feels so dang easy.

Staying in your Zone of Competence - doing all the little things in your business for the sake of being “busy” - writing AirBnB reviews, posting on social media, designing images in CANVA, updating your website, are all EASY-peasy things that you can pop into a process and systematize yourself out of them.

But you don’t.

Why?

Because there is a DEEPER SUBCONSCIOUS FEAR, usually, of having the EASE and FREEDOM that you desperately crave.

There is a CONTROL that you can have and a CONFORMITY to be like the rest of the world complaining about their lives and how busy they are.

It can make you feel like an OUTSIDER to have real FREEDOM to be able to do what you want when you want.

Who will relate to you if you only work a 6-hour day?

Who will you be able to connect with if you actually have it ALL?

No.4 - You’re Lacking Purpose

And lastly, sometimes, you don’t even know WHAT it is you are meant to do, so you “busy” yourself with lots of things to do - especially if you’re a high achieving DOER.

This was me back in early 2016.

I knew I wanted Crown Yourself to be something, but I wasn’t sure WHAT, I didn’t trust myself to live in my Zone of Genius (and honestly, I didn’t know back then what that even was).

But I was ALWAYS on my computer in between Pilates sessions. And I was ALWAYS busy.

Spike even had a joke that I could not get through ONE Netflix show without 15 minutes in getting onto my computer.

I didn’t know what to do. And I didn’t know how to relax either.

So I worked - on what? Oh, dear God, I wish I knew.

I wasn’t building relationships, funnels, or sales. So WTF I was doing on my computer for all those hours was just mindless busy work to try to escape from sitting with the discomfort that I wasn’t living life ON PURPOSE.

Then I got pregnant.

And I got real clear, real fast on WHO I HAD TO BE for my child.

And it wasn’t the mom who was always working.

And it wasn’t the mom who was “too busy” to pay attention to their kid.

Hell no.

I KNEW I HAD TO GET PURPOSEFUL AND GET IN MY GENIUS ZONE...FAST.

Now, while I have recommended to a client or two to get pregnant so that they can get more focused with their time (jokingly, of course...well, kind of 😉 )...

Getting knocked up isn’t for everyone.

So if you’d like me to knock you up with some PURPOSE and catapult you into your ZONE OF GENIUS…

Then there are still a few spots remaining for my Queen-B(usiness) Quickie 1:1 Package.

APPLY NOW FOR MY QUEEN-B(USINESS) QUICKIE PROGRAM

This is for you if you want to WORK LESS.

Make MORE.

Get more INTENTIONAL about the work that you do.

TAKE RADICAL ACTION (THAT WILL DEFINITELY REQUIRE YOU TO GET COURAGEOUS).

And become f*ing FEARLESS.

Yes, together we will DITCH the excuse of “busyness” and get RIDICULOUSLY DIALED IN to the systems, processes, and strategies that will take you into FREEDOM.

If you still want to hang on to being “busy” as your crutch, this is NOT for you.

This is only for ACTION TAKERS who have Mother-effing DECIDED that they are NO LONGER WILLING TO NEGOTIATE WITH THEIR DREAMS.

APPLY NOW FOR THE QUEEN-B(USINESS) QUICKIE PROGRAM

If that’s you, I’ll see you on our Queen-B(usiness) Quickie Consult to discuss if you’re a fit.

Remember, your reign is now.

P.S. If you’ve been waiting, hesitating, vacillating, dancing around with the possibility of diving in, I’m going to leave you with this…

How much farther ahead do you think you would be if you didn’t allow yourself to second-guess opportunities that could grow and expand your life and your business?

Delay is a pervasive cycle and will make you FEEL busier than you actually are if I were to sit down with you throughout the day and watch you work.

CHOOSE TO BREAK THE PATTERN OF DELAYING YOUR DREAMS NOW.

And I look forward to seeing your application.