Why the Art of Receiving is as Important as the Act of Giving
When I first started my business, I marketed and worked with 99% women - fierce, badass, driven, ambitious women who wanted it all and who were willing to put their nose to the grindstone, do the work, hustle hard, pedal to the metal, push themselves until they broke down or burnt out, the go-go-goal-getters who were driven AF to move heaven and earth to do the work.
Usually, it was from a place of giving, of service, of a desire to be more, do more, share more, serve more. It didn’t matter whether they were giving to 1300 students in an online course, or giving money, time, energy, to their kids, giving to everyone, everyone...except themselves.
Giving from lack is not giving from love.
This shows up as…
Being on the verge of burn out or breakdown, beating yourself against the form of how something “should” be or “should” work to serve your customers.
Not asking for help, when your soul (and your sanity) is crying out for it.
Going overtime when on a session with a client 20-30 minutes to “add more value” instead of trusting that you are giving and delivering EXACTLY the amount of value your customer or client needs in that session.
Not giving yourself a raise (even though your boss), when everyone who works for your gets paid more than what you get - AND IT’S YOUR OWN DANG COMPANY!
Beliefs that taint the spirit of giving…
Not loving yourself enough to honor your energy, your time, and having lackluster boundaries around what behavior (from others and yourself) you will and will not tolerate in your life.
Fearing that you “don’t deserve it” and thus you self-sabotage, self-destruct, consciously or unconsciously to give away what you never really believed you deserved in the first place.
Feeling like you’re “not enough” that you didn’t deliver enough that you didn’t add enough value - this enoughness thing runs freaking deep.
Fearing you aren’t smart enough, capable enough, strong enough, loved enough - so you go out of your own way to sacrifice your sanity on the altar of “enoughness” to try to PROVE that you are.
YOU NEVER HAVE TO PROVE WHAT YOU ALREADY ARE. YOU ONLY HAVE TO PROVE WHAT YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU ARE NOT BEING THE DANG THING ALREADY.
Tony Robbins doesn’t have to PROVE he’s the best coach in the world. He is. He embodies it. He owns it. And I own the fact that he’s got 40+ years on me, so I’ve got my work cut out.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE BY GIVING SO MUCH OF YOURSELF AT THE SAKE OF YOURSELF?
Because that is where the root, the mother, the Queen-B(elief) that is underlying the results you’re getting.
The only time EVER in my relationship with Spike when we have struggled was when I martyring myself on how “I HAD TO DO IT ALL.” About 6-months after Declan was born, Spike and my relationship had shifted roles. For the first time in our relationship, my business was making more money than his.
I was the “breadwinner” and with that came a whole story that left me feeling trapped, under-appreciated, and casting my husband in such a poor light as I suffered in silence, not asking for help, trying to “prove” how strong/capable/hard-working I was, as I tried to manage to grow a business and raise a baby while feeling like I was doing it aaaaaaallll on my own.
When really...that was such a load of B.S. If you know my husband, you know that he is the kindest, most generous human who’s love language is service. He would have dropped everything in a heartbeat for me, had I only asked.
If your story of “suffering” or “deserving” is your marker of success you’ll martyr your relationships by not asking for help sooner.
Once I started asking for help, EVERYTHING changed.
RECEIVING IS AN ART.
And like any art, it must be practiced, cultivated, nurtured, and cared for.
Especially, high achievers tend to operate from a masculine “do-do-do” energy, pushing, forcing, “making” forcing our feminine energy of receiving into submission. “We’ll do it ALL ourselves” we muse.
BUT NOTHING WAS EVER CREATED WITHOUT THE FEMININE.
The feminine energy RECEIVES. You can inseminate your ideas into her, doing the DOING of the masculine energy, but it’s your job to both DO and RECEIVE.
Receiving is part of the sexual transmutation dance Napoleon Hill talks about in Think and Grow Rich. With creating anything - a book, a business, a baby, more money, more ease, more flow, more manifestation…
You have the idea inseminated into your soul, and then it grows through the doing of WORK and then dancing between the DOING and RECEIVING the results.
So on this Mother’s Day, I challenge you - mother, or not - to practice the art of receiving.
Practice receiving SUPPORT.
Practice receiving LOVE.
Practice receiving PATIENCE.
Practice receiving MONEY.
Practice receiving GIFTS.
Practice receiving ACTS OF SERVICE.
Because you are well worth it. You’ve done enough. And there will always be more to do (that, of course, you’re going to do because you’re a doer.) But in all that doing, allow yourself the harmony of resting to receive the bounty that you have done so much for.
You are worthy of receiving your results. You deserve to see your doing rewarded.
Graciously receive those rewards for in doing so you’re doing the world a favor - spreading your art, the art of receiving to we all can create more together.
Happy Mothers Day, Mama! To your creative liberation!
Remember, your reign is now.
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