(And She Doesn’t Have to Be Turned into One, Disney!) 

I grew up on Disney princesses.

As I said in the opening of my TEDx talk, Becoming a Warrior for Possibility, I never admired the princess who just had to lose a shoe or be kissed to wake up. Snow White and Cinderella were among them. I admired the fighters—the ones who did something, the women who wielded swords and knowledge —if not literally, then metaphorically.

Belle. Mulan. Elsa. Women with grit, edge, and fire who wanted "more than this provincial life."

I learned to admire the woman who fought. Because as women, we’ve had to.

We’ve had to fight for rights.
We’ve had to fight for respect.
We’ve had to fight for the right not to have to fight.

In some places, we still have to fight as women. 

As good feminist girls, we’re taught to find our power in independence. In our fierceness. Rebel girls. Rage against the patriarchy, right? 

Yet, somewhere in all that fighting, we lost reverence for the power of feminine softnes...