Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - Hello. Hello, my fellow sovereigns, and welcome back to another episode of the Crown Yourself podcast. I am so honored and excited to be here with you today talking about a topic that I am so absolutely fired up about because there are so many myths around accountability and who keeps you accountable and what is accountability and how we coach around that. And in the coaching industry in specific, which I've been a part of for eight now almost eight glorious years, I have seen this model of accountability, coaching that is borderline codependent where clients perceive that they need the coach in order to achieve the results which thus makes puts the coach in this funky, awkward drama triangle of the hero position. And the problem with being in the hero position is that you can also be in the martyr position where you sacrifice your own boundaries to like serve your clients. And this is from the coach's perspective, to serve your clients, to go that, you know, extra mile so that they get the results because it becomes the relationship gets funky and becomes codependent.
Kimberly Spencer (00:01:15) - That's not actually coaching or blaming the coach, making the coach the villain in the drama triangle because you're not getting the results that you want. And I am all about sovereignty. I am all about you feeling empowered that you have the agency capability and full potential and possibility to be able to achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve. And that comes from who you are holding yourself accountable to. And it isn't a coach and it isn't a bestie and it isn't an accountability partner. And I go into why this episode and this shift alone and the exercise that I'm going to do on this episode have changed so many of my client's lives to achieving phenomenal results, such as achieving their three-year, one-year goals in three months, becoming the number one in their industry, becoming their number one in their industry in the world. So there are massive results that can come from just shifting your perception around who you are holding yourself accountable to. I hope you enjoyed the episode. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life.
Kimberly Spencer (00:02:45) - I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself and I'm a master mindset coach, bestselling author, and TEDx speaker, known to my clients as a game changer. Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Hello and welcome back to the Crown Yourself podcast. I am so honored that you're here and excited for you to be here, and I hope you are too, and are just showering yourself with epic amounts of gratitude and love for choosing content that uplifts and champions, and challenges you. I know sometimes having belief systems challenged is challenging, but that's why we're here and that's the only way we can grow. And speaking of challenge, I was taking my pure bar class today, which is if you don't know what pure bar is or what bar method is, it's like tiny little pulses in the holding, you know, small positions and really tiny micro muscle movements.
Kimberly Spencer (00:03:58) - And it can be hard. And literally, your body will start vibrating and shaking. And I take from this one teacher regularly, like whenever she's teaching, I'm like, I'm in your class because she is phenomenally hard and not hard as in, like, hard to be hard, but hard where she presents a challenge. And I, as an Enneagram eight just freaking love rising to a good challenge. And even though there are some activities or things that I am challenged with, with certain physical things, I still will make those adaptations, make those modifications, keep going, and do my best. Not expecting me to be the best or be the best in the class or whatever. Like doing my best is the best that I can do, and I love challenging myself to that level and saying like, how can I grow to do better? That's one of the reasons why I love group exercise. And as I was in the class, in the class was wrapping up, there was this one student who was new and she's like keeping it consistent.
Kimberly Spencer (00:04:57) - And I was like, Rock on, girl, good for you. And she's like, Yeah, me and her friend who were going together, we're like, We're keeping each other accountable, keeping going. And that is a great form of accountability, like companionship, having that friendship, having someone meet you there. But that is not the highest form of accountability, because if you're really going for accountability, then it comes from inside, not from external. Because as you know, that which is unconscious is going to manifest in a certain way and that which is conscious is going to manifest in a certain way. And if you truly are unconsciously aligned with your higher self, you're going to have different accountability than if you're externally oriented in this 3D realm. And so when I got home, Spike and I were talking at the breakfast table, as we do, and suddenly the topic of accountability came up again, and I was reminded I was like of the I was reminded of the Brenden Bouchard coaches summit that I went to in November of 2022.
Kimberly Spencer (00:06:03) - And he was saying how in the next two years basically expect eye coaching to replace all accountability coaches. So if you just are like checking in on people's goals and making sure that they're keeping their commitments to doing what they said that they were going to do, you're going to be out of a job. And this is not to be fear-based or anything, but you're going to have to adapt or be out of a job because I will just remember far better than you, far better than me. It's I is just it's a memory bank, basically. And so everything you said you were going to hold yourself accountable to, it's going to remember. And that is why he stresses coaching from a curriculum. I've been coaching from multiple different curriculums. I started out doing timeline therapy, hypnosis, and NLP. I then moved into combining that with certified high-performance coaching. I then moved into combining that with my own Queen B, King B sovereignty, and leadership coaching, and then it's all of that together combined into one epic coaching package that walks you through these 12 modules of elevating every aspect of your leadership for your health, wealth and well-being and your business, and that I've been practicing for the past five years.
Kimberly Spencer (00:07:22) - And I was like, yes, on the right track. But this topic of accountability, like robots, will then hold us accountable, right? So this concept of accountability is so crucial to achieving any goal, but who are you accountable to? And this is why most people falter with their own accountability because they put their accountability outside of themselves. So what does that mean? So secondary accountability is for someone external to hold you accountable for a habit that could be a friend, that could be a coach, or, you know, maybe it's a habit, maybe it's getting something done. Maybe it's a product. You can be accountable to your team that's secondary accountability. It's a great form and a great place to start with, but it will leave you grasping at external circumstances and people who are outside of you to them. Hold you accountable, which also presupposes that should they not hold you accountable, there can be blame. And I'm just curious, how many of you listening have ever blamed someone outside of you for your own shit or for not doing something I've had in this includes if you've blamed your coach, Yes, I have been blamed for my clients not holding themselves accountable to their own commitments.
Kimberly Spencer (00:08:48) - And it's not a fun conversation to have. And it's a funky, awkward conversation when I got a call them on the blame game bullshit because the accountability that I work with my clients to achieve is the accountability with their sovereignty, their accountability with their highest self, so that they no longer are they looking outside themselves for that external validation, for that external commitment. The commitments come from within. The commitments are intrinsic. Nothing tops intrinsic motivation and nothing tops intrinsic accountability to the commitments that you have made to yourself because they are making you become your highest, best, most sovereign self. When you shift the paradigm of accountability to holding yourself accountable to your highest self, to your most sovereign self, that is when the entire paradigm of accountability shifts for you, and no longer do you have anyone else to blame externally except for you. Which thus means and also presupposes that you are then responsible for the change. This means that anything that happens outside of you, you then are responsible for the change positively or negatively. So it then gives you that power because you are the one enacting the change.
Kimberly Spencer (00:10:17) - No one else outside of you is having to quote-unquote hold you accountable to your highest and best, most sovereign self. So how do you do this magical thing of holding yourself accountable to your highest self? Well, I have an exercise that I regularly work my clients through, where I have them envision their highest and best self. So let's do it together right now. And obviously, if you're driving, keep your eyes open, please. And just imagine. Allow yourself to imagine, but focus on the road. So imagine you are in your office, your dream office, and you are now your highest self. You have achieved everything you have wanted to achieve in the past three years. And Holy Mother f and shit, you have done a lot. You have crushed it. You have taken those dreams that three years ago you thought were just so it would be so cool if that happened. But oh my goodness, it is now happened. You have now become her. Holy moly. Good for you.
Kimberly Spencer (00:11:24) - And so. You are going to have a meeting, you are replacing yourself. You. As you know, as the CEO, as the queen or king of your life, you need to step in and elevate your role once again, which means you need to pass off some tasks to somebody else. And so you call Who in? Who do you call in? You're going to call your present-day cell phone. And so I want you to now remove yourself from being in your future self-body. Seeing what you saw, hearing what you heard, and feeling the feelings of what it was like to achieve all that you have planned on achieving in the past three years. And now you're going to step out of your body as your future best, highest self three years from now, and you're going back into your own body as a present-day and you walk into the office space that you have three years from now and you see your future self and she's sitting across from you. And she sets you down and welcomes you in with a warm welcome, but she is seeming quite firm.
Kimberly Spencer (00:12:40) - And my question to you is, in this meeting, this is a very crucial meeting. Remember, she is debating on who she is going to have groomed for the role that she is in right now three years from now. And she sets you down. And my question to you is, would you be fired for the current quantity and quality of your output? Based on your future self's standards. And oh, my gosh. Can I tell you how many clients I have? Just if you did it to honor it. If you're driving, definitely do this piece later and like send me a message on Instagram and be like Holy moly, Kim, That exercise. Yes, that was a POW in the gut. Most of my clients, in fact, I yet have had one not have this audible sigh. Which is basically a sign of fuck. Yeah, because let's be real. You have not been embodying her for the most part. Probably. Maybe you have a rock on you.
Kimberly Spencer (00:13:57) - But really, when we get down to asking that question from that perspective, have you been embodying to the best of your ability who she is three years from now, not who you are present? That is where the real transformation takes place. That is who you are only accountable to. Is it her or him? So that future self-orientation is who you hold yourself accountable to. If you do not have a vision of who that version of you is, that's where you may need some coaching around, clarity around getting clear on what it is that you want. Who is it you want to become? It's far less about what you want to do and more about who it is that you want to become through doing the thing that you want to do. Maybe it's being more purposeful, maybe it's being more intentional, maybe it's being healthier, or maybe it's having a fit as fuck body. Maybe it is being more present with your kids. But whatever it is. The things that you're doing, these tasks, these habits that you're building, that you're looking for external accountability from, is actually.
Kimberly Spencer (00:15:13) - Not the thing that's shaping you, that's shaping you on the 3D realm with the discipline of doing it. But if you're seeking accountability outside of yourself, you're not letting it transform you from the inside out. And that's where true transformation takes place so that you look back three years from now and you're not the same person. You have changed, you have transformed because that is what transformation is. The transformation you cannot go back from. And transformation happens only from the inside out. It does not happen externally. So that is why 99.9% of the time. External accountability will falter. And maybe not immediately, but probably through time because humans are fallible. That is what exists in the 3D realm is other humans. So when we're looking externally, we're only looking externally in this 3D realm. Versus searching our emotional, mental, and spiritual realms to tap into the channel, the vertical channel, instead of the horizontal plane that we're all living on. The vertical channel is what channels the transformation. So choosing to lean into that channel and ask who would your highest future best self? How would she show up for her commitments? What would she give the hell yeses to? And the hell knows too.
Kimberly Spencer (00:16:44) - She probably is a bit more discerning about the things she says no to. She probably is a bit more passionate about the things she says yes to and committed and follows through. Your commitment is to your highest self, your most sovereign self. That accountability there will never lead you astray. If this episode served you, please do me a favor and just share it with one person. Maybe an accountability buddy like you can be accountable for holding each other accountable to being accountable to your higher selves. Talk about a mind F right there. So share with just one person that does me that honor and I so appreciate it. Thank you in advance. And I look forward to seeing you. Hearing you. You know what I mean? In next week's episode. And I look forward to being here with you on the next episode. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you. Be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend. Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty.
Kimberly Spencer (00:17:57) - And if you're not already following me on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown Yourself. Now for more inspiration. I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode, and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business, and life that rules because today you crown yourself.
