Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - Hello, my fellow sovereigns. I am so honored and excited to be back with another episode that I'm going to admit I was a little nervous to release, to share, to express. I recorded this episode actually back in April end of 2023. This April was like pretty much not almost 90 days after settling moving all the transition that comes with moving states, houses, all the things, children getting them structured, getting them set up, going off and running a marathon amidst, you know that and going to a really epic mastermind for a week. And I came back and I had what I would call a tower moment. So if you've ever studied or explored tarot you can think what you want and maybe I'll record a few episodes in the future on Tarot, but I have been guided by my mentors over the past year by one of my mentors in particular, who is an ancient Hawaiian shaman, to explore that, as well as the work of Joseph Campbell on archetypes, images and the power of images on our subconscious minds.
Kimberly Spencer (00:01:23) - And in the tarot, there is a card called the Tower, and the tower really represents the crumbling of an old identity, and it can feel incredibly terrifying if you are deeply holding on to certain beliefs or identities of who you have been and how you have operated in the world. And this can happen. I'm not saying it always happens, but it can happen after manifesting something so phenomenal that it's like a giant quantum leap. And I can definitely say I had a massive tower moment after Declan was born. That was Oh, that one was that one was a big a big one. And then again here. And it manifested in the form of funky, emotional, hormonal issues, sickness, family issues, family getting sick, just heaps of challenges physically, emotionally, mentally and I would say spiritually as well. And I think it's in hindsight now, and this episode was recorded when I was in the throes of it. So it is I am very much on the other side and I'm so excited to be on the other side because going through it was where basically I had so much proof that the old identity of belief systems that I had been living in under many, many, many pounds of plagiarized programming around and all the things worthiness enoughness deserving this you name those deep core ones and foundational modus operandi systems of those human constructs of like guilt or shame that were just ripped away completely from me because I there I was with living inside of my own evidence of how powerful manifestation can be and how powerful in a way I am.
Kimberly Spencer (00:03:32) - And you are too. And just because you have a divine power running through you, because you were created by source, that also doesn't deny your humanity and the humanness of what we go through on a daily basis here. Living in Earth school, as I like to put it, as I've heard many of my mentors also put it, in this Earth school. There are challenges and hard times and they will, some more than others strip you of the backpack of burden that you've been basically carrying around. And if you've ever gone on a hike with like a really, really heavy backpack and suddenly you feel like, oh my gosh, I can finally take this off, like we're at the top of the mountain. I made it. And you can finally take off the backpack. It almost hurts to take it off because you're so used to carrying it. And that is very much a tower moment of realizing that you no longer have to carry that and you will just drop it. And your weight becomes less and it's phenomenal.
Kimberly Spencer (00:04:46) - And still in the meantime, in the part of taking off the backpack, it can hurt. So I hope this episode serves because we pulled it out from the archives of the maybe, maybe someday one day file of some episodes that we have that we haven't chosen to release. But my gut said as we were going through our rebrand and getting our brand new season for a brand new just revolution of beautiful sovereignty and empowerment and helping you claim your power. That I found this episode and I was like being on the other side of that. I know what's possible. Yes, you can claim your power. Yes, you do. Come back. Just going through it one of my favorite psalms was The Valley of the Shadow of Death. And just going through that valley. And when you go through it, just recognizing that your higher self is always with you and can always guide you and you can always tune in and you are so much more powerful than you even recognize, even if you're having the human experience of some bad, bad mental health days.
Kimberly Spencer (00:06:03) - So with that, I hope you enjoyed the episode. While we make every effort to bring you the best and correct information, we are all still learning and I am simply presenting my views. I am not a licensed medical professional and even for my guests who are licensed medical professionals, this podcast is purely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of any of this information on this podcast or materials linked in this podcast is at your own risk and you take full ownership of your results. This podcast is not intended as a substitute for professional medical treatment and or diagnosis. Always consult with a doctor for any medical issues you may be having. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself, and I'm a master mindset coach, best-selling author, and TEDx speaker, known to my clients as a game changer. Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve.
Kimberly Spencer (00:07:27) - Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Hello, my fellow Sovereigns, and welcome back to another episode of the Crown Yourself podcast. I am so honored and excited to be here with you today because man, yesterday I'm going to be really honest. Yesterday was rough. I went very dark on all the platforms because I was not in a great space mentally and health-wise, and it was this and it was so weird to me. Even I was as I was like crying was like, what the heck? I have so much to be grateful for. I am so happy about so many things. Yeah, there are a couple of things that definitely need some work, but there's it's nothing that I can't work through or haven't worked through before. But damn, sometimes the body knows before the brain does. And gut and intuitive wise, my body was just like, This is just nervous system overload. Like your nervous system has been wrecked.
Kimberly Spencer (00:08:40) - And if you've been following my stories on my personal brand account on Instagram, I was sharing, you know, I did a marathon, I did Mastermind. I came home and then I was like, back to work. Because then you have all the follow-up because I had had three weeks of travel and then I was like, back to the grind, and like I was super excited and everything was so exciting and everything was awesome. And then I was like, on top of it, let's do 75 hard because I have yet to learn my lesson about not overcommitting myself. I have yet to learn that my husband, who knows me better than I do, warned me and I said, Look, I'm going to do 75 Joy. So I wasn't going to do 75 hard. I was gonna do 75 joy. And if I wasn't feeling aligned and joyful, I wasn't going to bring that on to my family and force myself to do that. So I said, I'm going to do it, but I'm going to do it in a joyful way.
Kimberly Spencer (00:09:34) - I ended up stopping after five days, allowed myself a break, did it again for a couple of days, had a break. And I started to realize that the biggest thing during those five days of 75 hard was I wasn't sleeping. And so the next week I said, okay, that was my feedback from that week of like not sleeping, doing two a day workouts. Like I was only getting about 4.5 hours of sleep, which was not good. It is not beneficial, is not effective. And especially I realized that in what I'm doing what I'm building with communication queens right now because we're in the growth stage, I am building a lot of support systems and stability, creating processes, which is the sexiest thing in the world because you're taking everything that you do naturally, intrinsically, and you just kind of do because you do it because you're so like natural at doing it, and you get it out there into processes and then you can teach to your team. And so it's, it's you're extracting your genius.
Kimberly Spencer (00:10:29) - So boiling it down into steps and processes and step-by-step systems and how you do this and then what happens contingencies and thinking through every single step. So there's a lot of deep thinking going on. I realized that I don't do well with deep thinking when I am not rested when I have not gotten at least 6.5 hours of sleep. So I said the next week's feedback. I said I'm going to focus on instead of 75 hard, I'm going to do some of the lifestyle and prioritize Sleep like that is a priority. Like, yes, the two-day workouts, the no alcohol, the eating, really healthy and clean. Yes, yes, yes. And I'm going to focus on just sleeping and what's going to take precedence over the workouts and over the other things is the sleep. So I allowed myself to focus on that sleep and was starting to get seven, or eight hours. And man, that started to reset my nervous system to where I suddenly had the capacity to feel all the things that I had been shutting down.
Kimberly Spencer (00:11:36) - Any fears, any anxieties, any thoughts of doubt or whatnot. They all came up in this volcanic mess of yesterday of tears and feeling like I couldn't do anything right. I mean, this happens to the best of us. And that's the reason why I wanted to do a podcast on this specifically, because sometimes you can see someone online and they can look like everything is going right for them. And then you must think when you're in the shitstorm of your own day, if you're having a bad day, like, Oh, this person never has bad days, they have everything going right for them. And even if that may be true, that everything may be going right, sometimes maybe mental health may be off. Maybe there is some subconscious programming coming up, as I know that there was for me. For me, it was a biological thing. It was my nervous system resetting. It was my nervous system recalibrating from being in this. Basically sympathetic response, a very, very sympathetic response. Even though I was focusing on parasympathetic exercises like the bar method of Pilates and yoga-like even though I was focusing on those forms of exercise, my day-to-day was very sympathetic.
Kimberly Spencer (00:12:54) - It was very moving from like one thing to then I'm with the kids to then I'm working on my business. And so it was that response that I was like, okay, my body finally got to reset and actually got to have the rest and digest. And when your body switches from sympathetic to parasympathetic, if you haven't digested certain experiences, if you haven't digested, that's what the parasympathetic nervous system is supposed to do, like it is supposed to digest. But if you've been in a heightened sympathetic mode, this is not saying necessarily hustle. This may just say that your life was in a state where everything was firing on all cylinders and you weren't really getting a break. So if I'm working and doing some deep strategy and then doing some, you know, sales and moving my team forward and then I go into suddenly I open the door and then suddenly I'm bombarded with my amazing the love of my amazing two children who just race after me and mommy and I will show you this and I would do this.
Kimberly Spencer (00:13:54) - And like, there's that energy. So there's not. And even though I consciously do take the time during the day to meditate, I still have my down days and so does every other influencer and every other person who is on the interwebs, because we all have the common denominator of the thing that I joked with my husband, I said, it's the biggest insult in the world. We're all still fucking human, like. And I'm like, No, I'm divine. I'm, I'm celestial stardust in human form. And he's like, Yes. And you're still in human form. And I'm like, Oh, damn it, you reminded me. So that was the big piece of yesterday. And one coach that I follow. Lindsay I'm going to butcher her name. Kara Carty. I've never met her in person, but I do really love and respect the work that she puts out in regard to money consciousness. And she posted a post that I happened to stumble upon in my intuitive moments late at night.
Kimberly Spencer (00:14:54) - And I saw it and I was like, Oh my God, thank you so much for the permission because I didn't even realize that I wasn't doing this. So this is why, like I always recommend follow people who inspire you and who also challenge you and challenge your belief systems and who sometimes will allow you to be. I'm going to use the word triggered because that trigger is a sign of where there is emotional or consciousness growth. And so what she wrote, she said, I teach on money and I'm having a low cash experience right now. Oh, wait, how can that be? It's called life. It's called ebbs and flows. It's called the development of true wealth consciousness. There is this idea out in the coaching and empowerment world that you have to be perfect relationship. Coaches can't have arguments or breakups. Money coaches can't have short cash months health coaches never emotionally eat. Let's normalize the ups and downs of changing our lives and let's normalize the ebbs and flows that occur when you're shifting the entire trajectory of your consciousness.
Kimberly Spencer (00:16:02) - And I saw that, and I was like, at the end of this day I had literally spent most of the day crying. I would get stuck on repetitive thoughts that I haven't thought since I was like 16 years old, but like deep psyche shifting things. I did some. I reached out to my community, a part community that I'm a part of, of six, seven, and eight-figure business owners, the dames. I reached out to them and I posted about it and I shared very vulnerably. I said, I don't know what is up, but this is like my experience of today. This is not normal. I feel such tremendous guilt focusing on anything other than my business. But then I feel such tremendous guilt focusing on anything but my kids. And I was in this space of like I literally teach on shifting your emotions, conscious leadership, and I felt like the worst type of conscious leader Yesterday. I was the last person that should be leading my family. Like I was like, No kids.
Kimberly Spencer (00:17:06) - You teach me because I felt so incompetent and so emotionally drained and taxed and physiologically exhausted. And so I shared about it and I got a ton of amazing response and support. And it just goes to show you, like, by the way, when you set out to have the intention to know like there is, I will admit there was always a deep part of me yesterday that knew that this is something that's not me like. This is like, it's not my divine, it's not my divinity speaking through like it is. This piece of me is, is not me. It's the not me that's kind of falling away and all of that. Not me of like, oh my gosh, this is no longer who you are. This is no longer what you believe. But here it is right in your face one last time, kind of bubbling up to the surface. And it was when I saw Lindsay's post that I was like, Oh, thank God for the permission. Like, because of course, when I was in it reminded me of when I was in my healing phase with bulimia.
Kimberly Spencer (00:18:13) - And yes, I was still teaching. I was still leading Pilates classes and there were moments where I felt like really incongruent because I would walk in and it would be like fresh from having binged and purged. And I would kind of taste that like nasty residue of vomit, like on my tongue. And like, I'm sure my breath wasn't. I would like to be working farther away from my clients' faces because I didn't want to breathe in their faces or have them smell anything. But I never felt like that. Like the deep-seated shame around that. I just was like, Oh, this seems really incongruent for me to be teaching Pilates and having just like binged and purged and like abused my body. And I allowed myself to just have those moments. I had a lot of grace and compassion, and I also allowed myself to have those moments where I would just like enjoy some ice cream and allow myself to enjoy however much of it I wanted to enjoy, and that I would allow that to be 100% okay.
Kimberly Spencer (00:19:10) - In fact, my Pilates clients had a joke with me and lemon meringue pie because that was always my. It still is. It's it's a weakness and I love it. And it's maybe because it's a weakness. It's also a strength because I recognize it as a weakness. And I love it and it's delicious. But I would have those moments and I didn't because I led with that humanity. That is what actually drew more clients to me in that space. And it's been the same thing that I have seen in coaching the more I have led with my humanity as well as, you know, my challenging my, you know, rising into your sovereign self. We are both sovereign and we are human. And it's the human aspect that is actually shaping us to be in our own sovereignty. And so when we can normalize the things like be like having a low cash flow month, having some, you know, a fight with your spouse when you may teach relationships or having just experiences where you feel experiences that are counter to the perception of what everybody thinks that you are like.
Kimberly Spencer (00:20:23) - When I've had people literally turn me down for podcast because they say I'm too motivational and to like happy. Like I was like, okay, I didn't know that was a bad thing. But my joy comes. It was like that episode with Jan Jan Because that joy comes because I have experienced the dark side and I know that deep end of joy. I know the opposite side of the spectrum. And I also know that experiences like yesterday are few and far between now. They used to happen a ton more. In fact, Spike and I were reflecting on it this morning. They used to happen a lot more before I started doing all this internal work. And so when they happen every now and then of these moments of overwhelm of like actual like because I do believe still fully, even though my nervous system was overwhelmed, that overwhelm is a choice because we always have between stimulus and response to choice Doctor Viktor Frankl. At the same time, I also know that it was a physiological response to overwhelm to actual, like too many stimuli between the stimuli that were going on in my brain around taxes, the stimuli that were going around in my house, around all the projects that we need to to do and what we're creating and what we're building.
Kimberly Spencer (00:21:47) - The stimuli of my kids and be like, Mommy, mommy, mommy. At the same time of like thinking about the house and thinking about certain goals for the week that we're setting. And so I know it was a physiological thing. I'm not getting mad at my body for having a physiological response. That's what is here to do. That's why I'm here on this planet, just as are you, to have that physical reality experience that actually allows us to transcend. Should we choose the ascension to transcend beyond and through this physical experience into what it is that we need to learn emotionally, mentally, and maybe even spiritually? And so I knew that it was a physiological response. I also knew that I was allowing myself to fully have that and recognize that and that by giving myself that permission to do what needed to be done in order to. Decrease and give as much self-care and love as possible to me so that I would be okay very quickly. So there are a few points that I want to make in this podcast that I hope are coming through these stories.
Kimberly Spencer (00:22:51) - One is that no matter what you teach, preach or do. There will be obstacles. It's called life. Just like Lindsey said in her post, it's okay if you are a business coach and you have a low cash flow month. It's okay if you're a business coach and you hire a team member that's not fit and you have to fire them and you're like, Well, fuck, this is what I do. This is what It's okay if you're a recruiting firm and you hire the wrong person for your team and you're like, Fuck, I have to hire someone new again. That isn't what I'm supposed to be like teaching and helping other people to not do. It's okay if you are a transformation coach and you're struggling with your own transformation. It's okay if you are any type of service provider and not receiving the service that you provide because you've just been working your butt off so much that you realize, Oh my gosh, I haven't taken a moment to do a chiropractic appointment or a massage or take some time for me or actually knit my own scarf that instead of selling scarves for everybody else.
Kimberly Spencer (00:24:00) - So it's okay, 100% okay to have these human experiences. It doesn't dilute your ability to coach, or teach. Navigate the challenge, the challenges of others going through that space. Because so long as you keep doing the work yourself. And you pull out all the tools and you practice what you preach. And so, yes, did I practice what I preach? Yes. I like to put on my hiking boots and my tool skirt because that makes me feel like a fairy princess. And I frolicked well. I didn't really frolic. I just kind of like wandering around our backyard because we have a lot of acreages and just take the time to be in nature and climb on some rocks and climb on some trees and lay down and look at the sky. And I took that time to breathe and I took that time to be present with my kids. And I actually took that time to not be on my computer. And I took that time to say, okay, I know I have certain priorities that I need to get done in my business, and right now nothing will get done.
Kimberly Spencer (00:25:12) - Well, if my mental health and physical health is not up to par. So I need to do whatever I can in this moment, in this day to do that so I can crush it in the next week. Because. When you recognize that your. The body is the physiological vessel. It's the energy container for everything that you do when that is off. That's why the cliche is that there's no greater wealth than health. Like when your body is literally the container of all the energy for all the roles that you play in your life. And that physiological container, including the mental synapses of the nervous system, needs to be in top shape to be that high performer that you are. And if it's not, then that becomes your priority. That becomes you putting the mask on yourself before you put it on others, which includes the mask on your business. If your business needs a little life support in the form of cash flow. Allow yourself to have the grace and compassion with yourself, to have those human experiences so that you can maybe the next day or a week later bounce back, have that resiliency because that's the part that's resiliency.
Kimberly Spencer (00:26:41) - Resiliency isn't cultivated by everything going perfectly according to plan. Resiliency is cultivated through challenge. And so if you're coaching on resiliency, if you're teaching anything that involves any form of transformation whatsoever, business relationships, life, health coach, you know, whatever it's going to require you and your clients to have some level of resiliency. If you are in any job position as a leader, you are going to be faced with challenges. That is going to require you to have some ability to have resiliency to bounce back. So resiliency is cultivated through the actual conditioning of your physiological body. And if your physiological body, which includes your nervous system, has been hijacked to being in a sympathetic fight, flight freeze flock nervous system response, then it's your responsibility as a leader and as a sovereign of your life to shift all focus to being on that physiological work so that your body can actually handle the energy that to flow in and out and through it in the form of every other role and every other area of your life that it needs to be in.
Kimberly Spencer (00:27:58) - You are the common denominator of it all. Your body is the common denominator of it all because it is the container for all the roles that you play. So. Giving yourself that grace and compassion, recognizing when it's a nervous system overload and you need to take the time to slow down, to rest. To have that mental health day. To take that time to focus on what matters. Maybe that is doing what matters. Maybe it's not doing the things that you have all those 15,000 important urgent deadlines for. Maybe what is doing? What matters is actually taking care of the physiological container that is the storehouse of all the energy for how it will flow and be directed into every other area of your life so that you can direct the most amount of energy into those projects. Passions, pursuits, roles. ET cetera. When you're able to, you just have to make sure that that physiological container, which includes your nervous system, is able to regulate into resting and digesting. And what are those experiences that you need to digest? Maybe you need to digest a little self-acceptance.
Kimberly Spencer (00:29:13) - I know that was for me yesterday. I had to digest his acceptance of like, I'm accepting that I am a bit of an emotional wreck yesterday and that that was what I had to accept and digest. Maybe you need to accept where your business is. Okay? Crap, man. You didn't bring in as much income as you thought you would or did. Okay. Accepting that? Yeah, it sucks. And what next? Like, what are, the income bank balances? Just like weight is an effect. It's not the cause. So if you're able to accept the effect, that's when you're able to change the cause. So maybe it's a little showing, a little self-acceptance, a little grace, a little reverence even, you know, that's how we that's one of the magical components that can shift any sort of circumstance is having actual reverence toward the experience. So when I drove home from a I went I walked out in our backyard with Spike today. And then I went out for a hike with a local group and ended up not seeing anyone, not finding them.
Kimberly Spencer (00:30:21) - I was like ten minutes late. So I completely understand because I got lost, and went to the wrong park, Newtown. So I'm okay. I give myself grace and acceptance for that. And so I was like, okay, I accept that this is what it is and I'm just going to go for a walk by myself with it. And I walked around and then I drove back home. And as I pull in, just this song comes on and I just get filled with all these feelings. And it's a feeling of, like, deep reverence, like deep reverence from the heart of like, Oh my God. Like, There were two major goals that I had last year financially, and achieved them both. And I didn't really celebrate that first one because I didn't really recognize it because I was just kind of in go mode and was like, Oh crap. Like I. I did it all right, I did it. And the same with even the purchase and manifestation, of our house. Like just being able to send me like, holy fuck, what we were able to manifest like, damn.
Kimberly Spencer (00:31:27) - And I was sitting on the porch this morning and I started to feel suddenly the armoring around my heart opening up. Because a lot of times when we're in that sympathetic response, we kind of armor up our heart because we just have to we just have to go to battle. We got to go. We got to go in. We got to do the thing. That's that's what we got to do. We're the warriors for our cause. We're the warriors for that next step, that next level that we're going for. Where? That warrior for possibility. Right? So we kind of armor up. That's the rib cage. Imagine the rib cage kind of just locks in, locked and loaded. Let's go. And I started to allow myself to strip off that armor today. And really the past week of just getting more sleep was also the de-armoring of allowing myself to rest, allowing the warrior to rest, allowing her to just take off that armor and say, okay, wow, we won. We did it.
Kimberly Spencer (00:32:20) - Okay. All right. There's no need to immediately go back into battle for the next big goal. So allow yourself to have grace and compassion. And so as I drove into our home, suddenly the song came on and the tears just flooded. And I was like, Oh, gosh, not again. Like, again. I kind of laughed at myself because I was like, Oh my gosh, it just happened again. But it was at that moment that I asked my unconscious mind. I said, Well, what am I feeling? And it very clearly responded like reverence, like I had such reverence for just being able to co-create this with the divine of just that co-create this with the divine, co-create this with my family. Just all being able to set our intentions to be able to get this and receive this and maintain it and be, the stewards of this beautiful home and land. And it was at that moment that I realized that it was reverence that I needed to have more of.
Kimberly Spencer (00:33:24) - It was no longer the warrior like the battle is won and the acceptance of that. And then, yes, you know, there are other battles, like the example with Lindsay of like having that low cash flow month or having that one area in your life where you're like, all right, got to suit up, got to put back on that armor. Let's go. But you won't be able to do it unless you have that acceptance and unless you give your body the time to digest, take off the armor, and feel in your heart. And then be able to say, okay, I'm ready to suit up for this next challenge. Okay. Low cash flow month. Okay. A couple of extra pounds. Okay. Challenges with my spouse or whatever, whatever it is for you being able to say, okay, these past battles, I won, let's suit up. Let's do it again. Let's be that warrior for possibility and lean in and choose that. A mental health day is totally necessary and worth it when your nervous system is overstimulated and allowing for it, honoring it, and then moving forward.
Kimberly Spencer (00:34:32) - Taking the time, doing what you need to do, and then allowing yourself to suit up for that next challenge. Where you just say, okay, challenge accepted. Let's go. I hope this message inspired you or served you. If you're struggling with your mental health or going through any particular challenges. And if it did, I found one of the greatest things that when I am on a particularly down day or challenging day, in fact, this was one of the things that I did when I posted inside of the group. The name of my own struggle is I happened to see a friend of mine struggling. And so I gave her some tools and resources and things that I thought could help her through what she was struggling with. And that actually made me feel better. And so if you're struggling with either a bad day or you know someone who's having a down day or some challenges going through their mental health, share this with them. And if this served you and if you listen to the end, I hope it did in that way you will get that nice dose of serotonin as well as whoever receives it, because sometimes we just need to connect and receive that support.
Kimberly Spencer (00:35:46) - Warrior to warrior and recognize, okay, today is a day we're going to set down our armor and allow ourselves to just feel what's coming through from our heart so that we can be prepared for whatever comes next and whatever next challenge we're going to face. And when we face them being able to say we're going to face it together, it's a game changer. As always, my fellow sovereigns on your throne. Mind your business because your reign is now. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you, be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend. Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty. And if you're not already following me on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown yourself now for more inspiration. I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business, and life that rules.
Kimberly Spencer (00:36:45) - Because today you crown yourself.
