Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - When Giftgiving is your love language? What do you do when it's your birthday? Today this is a special birthday episode. We don't always release episodes on Friday, but sometimes when we do, it is a special occasion and it is my birthday today. I am so honored and excited to share it with you. I wanted to find a way to share it I love this episode so much and it was scheduled for way later on in the year and I said, No, we need to bring this out as a special birthday episode because it is all about the embodiment, the complete neurological acceptance of who your most sovereign self is. And every year, every birthday, every day, quite frankly, is an opportunity to step into that, to embody it on a whole new level, and to show up as she or he would, your most sovereign self. And I am so excited to be here with you, to share it with you on my birthday. And it is my birthday. Wish that we each rise to another level of claiming our power of building and creating a body a business and a life that rules.
Kimberly Spencer (00:01:16) - And those are not just taglines. For me, that is a way of living. It's a lifestyle of choosing to become the conscious creator and the leader for that which you desire, to manifest into this world. And this world needs it. This world needs you to operate as your most sovereign and your best self. And so I hope this podcast serves you. I hope you love this gift. And I am so honored to share this with you on my birthday. Have a beautiful, beautiful day. I know I will. And I thank you so much in advance for another year around the sun with you and for sharing this episode with more and more people. And for this podcast Growing, I am so honored and grateful we could not do this without you. And I love you so much. Thank you so much for being a part of my world and for enriching my life so much over these past few years. I am so honored to be here with you, and I look forward to continuing to share with you all the good stuff that helps you and me, because we're all helping each other here rise into our most sovereign selves, to becoming the conscious leaders, the conscious creators of our life and of our world, and leaving that impact and that ripple effect that we have the power to do.
Kimberly Spencer (00:02:38) - And with that, I give you our episode on embodying your most sovereign self. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of Crown Yourself and I'm a master mindset coach, bestselling author, and TEDx speaker, known to my clients as a game changer. Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Hello, my fellow sovereigns, and welcome back to another episode of the Crown Yourself podcast. I am Kimberly Spencer. I'm so excited to be here with you today because we're talking about one of my favorite subjects, which means that it will be challenging possibly to maybe some of your belief systems, but just know that it is not you, it is your belief system.
Kimberly Spencer (00:03:58) - I think as a society we've gotten so indoctrinated with this belief that our beliefs are us. No, your beliefs are a strategy. Your beliefs are a strategy of what's worked to this point. Like I said in my Ted Talk, I used to believe that I was broken, and damaged by a victim. Don't believe that anymore. That belief served me for a time. The belief of being really, really ridiculously hard on myself. That belief served me for a time. It's, to be honest, one that I'm still working through at this next level. I think that's going to be my next evolution of working through that one. But I used to be really hard on myself, like really, really, really hard on myself. And it was just a belief. It was a belief that served me for a time, for a season of my life because as I always say, people are doing the best they can with the resources, tools, habits, and abilities that they have at their disposal right now. Sometimes they just have crappy resources.
Kimberly Spencer (00:05:00) - Like my crappy resource was believing that I was a victim and damaged and broken. It worked. It was a resource. It was a tool. It was a belief system that I used to allow me to try to prove it wrong. Does it mean that it was a good belief system? Did it serve? It was. I don't like to think in terms of good or bad. I like to think of terms like it was effective for a time, then it became not effective. Then it became very, very detrimental to being effective. So when I challenge you and that's why I love every single person who shows up for this podcast, because you are willing to go into the arena and be challenged with your belief systems that you have, which so often can be intertwined and intermixed with our identities. And that's not who we are. You are so much more than what you believe. You are so much more. You are so much. Even if you believe in absolute infinite potential we are still bound by human minds and human bodies.
Kimberly Spencer (00:06:05) - The concept of absolute infinite potential, we can still be more than that. Like what? So not to get too esoteric on you, but I wanted to frame that so that I am just so in honor of you showing up to the challenge and rising to it and being like, Yeah, game on, let's go. So let's go. The biggest thing that I have seen Block Anyone from achieving anything is this massive identity shift switch paradigm shift of wanting. Now, you may think, but Kim, you have said the most important question is to ask what you want. Because all is mind and what you focus on, you feed. And so being clear on what it is that you want is very important. The thing is, is what it is what you want, what you really want, like what you really want. I was talking with one of my best friends in the world where every week Amanda Coffman of the Coaches Plaza and I get together and we talk motherhood and business strategy. We show each other our landing pages like absolute nerds.
Kimberly Spencer (00:07:26) - We show each other our processes. Oh, yeah, we get real. But we also get vulnerable and talk. And she said, Kim like we were talking about a challenge with, with customers since both of us are coaches. And I said more and more we've just come to realize that people do what they do and they do what they are, right? And, you know, the framework of transformation is we do have like you get to have what you want when you're being the person who's doing the thing that gets you to have what it is that you want. However, the being part is the one that we get so tripped up on because we do what we are. And so a lot of times we say we want something, but actually it's what we think we want or think we should want in order to X, Y, z. So really, it's not that we want the thing we want to want the thing for some. The external reason that is outside of us sometimes is that wanting is not aligned.
Kimberly Spencer (00:08:39) - So the three layers really to becoming is really being able to examine what is it that you want, like truly want, not what society has said you should want. Like I truly want fashion. I'm going to give you an absolute example. I love clothes. I have so much fun with clothes and I happen to like fancy things. I have always liked fancy things. I have liked fancy things since I was a little girl. And I remember my dad saying to me, he's like, Kim, like, why do you want, like these? Like fancy? I didn't know why. I just did like, it wasn't that society was telling me to get a Tiffany's necklace. I just wanted Tiffany's. And that was before I put I adopted. Any shame around wanting that, which I've since rejected, of course. But that was society saying, Oh, you shouldn't want that. My dad thought, Oh, you shouldn't want that. Why would you want like, he didn't understand that. And I was like, I like nice things.
Kimberly Spencer (00:09:46) - I like nice things, period, end of story. Like there was there was no question to it from my authentic self. Now, it wasn't me wanting to want it, to have it to prove things. It was like, I really like luxury. I like being in clean environments that are just pristine. I loved the movie Breakfast at Tiffany's for years. It has since been replaced as my favorite movie by The Greatest Showman. And I will say in hindsight, I've gone back and watched that movie and I'm like, Oh, there's some concepts in here that I don't completely agree with, but it definitely was a movie that served for a time, and a season of who I was, especially back in high school. No, I was not Audrey Hepburn in Breakfast at Tiffany's because let's be real, She was a prostitute. High-end, of course, obviously. But that's what she was, an escort. That's how she got money. So the beautiful thing, though, Breakfast at Tiffany's, tangent aside, is recognizing what has served for the season.
Kimberly Spencer (00:10:47) - Breakfast at Tiffany's was definitely a movie that served me for a season. And now The Greatest Showman serves me so much better and Wonder Woman so much better. It's so much more of an effective movie for where I want to go. And it's okay if your favorite movie changes, by the way. So that being said, totally tangent aside, the thing that you want resonates with who you are. It may be what you want for a season. It may not be a complete lifetime. But also being really honest with yourself and asking, Is this something that I want to want for the external validation and proof outside of me? So if all the popular kids in school were wearing Tiffany's and I wanted to want it because that was what I felt like I quote unquote should be doing, that's not really, really wanting it. That's not really, really wanting it unless my value because we make decisions based on our subconscious values was becoming popular and fitting in which it was and still really isn't. I'd much rather belong.
Kimberly Spencer (00:11:56) - Big difference. The concept of wanting to want and you'll see the wanting to want to play out in life all the time. When you start looking for it you're like, Is that person really wanting what they're wanting? Or are they saying, Are they wanting to want it? So this comes from like the person, let's use the gym, for example, because it's a phenomenal example. The person who wants to get fit. They're like, Yeah, I really want to get fit. Okay. What are you doing to get fit? Yeah, I want to get fed. You know, I'll commit to that later. Like, right now I'm doing something, okay? You know, and you'll hear the excuses of why they're not actually doing it. They want to be fit, but they're really wanting to want to be fit because if they really wanted to be fit, they would go to the gym like that would be a piece. So they would actually be taking the tactile step in the three-dimensional realm, in the physical realm to do the thing.
Kimberly Spencer (00:12:53) - Let's say, for example, you want more money, want it. So many people want to want more money. And yet when it comes down to actually wanting more money and you say, okay, well, here's A, B, and C that you need to do, you need to go out and you need to make offers. You need to go out and have conversations, uncomfortable conversations sometimes maybe, but sales conversations mean you need to or investment conversations or capital conversations, whatever form of you need to find do the doing that in some way asks for money from someone. Maybe it's wanting. Maybe you get a side job, maybe you get, you know, do some extra like Uber driving or TaskRabbit things on the side. Or maybe you sell some stuff on eBay that is actually want to make more money because you are actually doing the thing that you say you want, which is you want to make more money. So you do something that actually helps you procure more money in some way, shape, or form.
Kimberly Spencer (00:13:58) - Wanting to want to make more money is the person who says, Yeah, I really want to make more money this year. Okay, here's a suggestion of how you can make more money, go out and make more offers. I don't really feel if they're aligned. I don't know. Put yourself out on social media. Make some offers there. I don't know. You know, I think I need to work on it a little more. Oh, so you don't really want to make more money? You want to be in your comfort zone. That's fine too. But let's be honest about what you really want. You want to be in your comfort zone and not put yourself out there. Okay? That's okay. Let's just be real. So the same is true with exercise. The same is true with wanting to be more present with your kids. Wanting to be more present with your kids means you sit down with the agenda. You look at like, where can you take some things off your plate or inject a little bit more time with your kids so that you're actively playing or doing something with them that is actually wanting it because you're actually doing the thing wanting to want is living in the like.
Kimberly Spencer (00:15:07) - I'd like to have the thing that's outside of me, but I don't really feel like taking the action. So you feel like you want to do it, but you're wanting to want to do it, so you're continuing to perpetuate the cycle of doing what you are, which is the person who doesn't have money or the person who doesn't have that great body or the person who's not present as a parent. So. Check yourself with every goal that you have set. And I will be very honest with you about this one. In 2017, I hired a business coach to work with me. I joined her group coaching program. I wanted to be a part of a community. And in this community, you know, everyone was saying their affirmations and saying their big money goals. And I was like about two years officially into business after I decided to turn pro, after that whole year and a half of making no money to like a whopping $100 in my business. Oh yeah. I found out later. I was like, Oh, I look back on my records.
Kimberly Spencer (00:16:08) - I was like, I actually made $100. So yes, in 2017, I started working in this business program and I thought, Oh, okay. My coach had made $1 million in a year. I thought, well, I could do I had just had a well, like I hadn't just had a baby, but I was like eight months pregnant into becoming a mother for the first time. Yeah, ambitious goals are kind of a thing with me, and I didn't realize the level of personal development that motherhood would throw me into and the unhealed shadows that I would need to deal with regarding my own projections and my experience as a new mom and my experience, especially with Declan and some so many of the fears that came up literally three days after he was born when he received a diagnosis that terrified me. And since, of course, done a lot of healing around that, rejected it, and he's totally fine. And at the same time, I have to honor the time that I went through.
Kimberly Spencer (00:17:20) - And yet I was in this business coaching program and everybody was hitting their like big goals and later, like, you know, say your affirmations with your big goals and what you're achieving. And I was like, I'm going to achieve $1 million in the next year. Bullshit, bullshit calling bullshit absolutely on myself. Why? I wasn't personally developed enough to retain that, receive that, have that experience that I was not there. Had I received $1 million in my business, it would have been like getting hit by lightning and it would not have been a pretty sight. I wouldn't have known how to manage. It wouldn't have been pretty for my mental health. So a lot of times your goal of what you want to achieve is maybe not yet simply because your personal development of who you're embodying is not yet there. But I wanted to want to be a millionaire. I wanted to want to have $1 million in a year in my business. However, I was going from zero to practically 0 or $100.
Kimberly Spencer (00:18:17) - Actually. By then I was actually making thousands of dollars a month in coaching, but at the same time going from thousands of dollars a month to hundreds of thousands of dollars a month to a million a year, That leap was not going to happen in that first year of being a new mom because of the challenges that I was facing mentally, emotionally, spiritually, even as a new mother. And I recognize in hindsight how much I wanted to want that, but I wasn't really embodying that. I wasn't showing up consistently. I wasn't consistently making offers. I wasn't putting myself out there. I wasn't raising my prices. I wasn't doing all the things. That it takes to have $1 million a year. I wasn't setting up SOPs. I wasn't setting up processes. I wasn't I was delegating tasks to my team, but never really having full-fledged projects of like step by steps of full standard operating procedures. ET cetera. So I wanted to do that, but I didn't really want it because I wasn't actually embodying the things that needed to be done in order to do that.
Kimberly Spencer (00:19:32) - This comes to the third level of becoming. So you have wanting to want, you have wanting means you're actively doing the doing. Now the difference between this second level of actually wanting meaning you're actually doing the doing and the embodying is the mental realm, the mental and emotional realm, because the wanting means you're doing the tasks. But sometimes the things that you're doing are maybe habitual, maybe they're what you think you should be doing, but they're not necessarily intuitively guided. And what this kind of looks like, just to bring it into a tangible example, is you are in the gym and I'm sure you've seen these people and you may see them regularly. Like if you go to the gym on a regular basis and you see them every day and they're doing the same darn thing, they're doing the elliptical or they're doing, you know, the bike and they're on it, or they're doing the machines and they're doing the same machines. But literally, you're seeing them day after day, month after month, and you're not seeing any transformation or any movement.
Kimberly Spencer (00:20:38) - They're just maybe, maybe maintenance, but not actually seeing an active transformation. And if you want to go for any goal, whether it's transforming your body, your money, your business, your health, your relationship with your kids, et cetera. It will involve the act of complete transformation from the inside out, so the doing of the doing can transform you. Yes, it can, Absolutely. So by doing the doing of making more offers, that can be the piece that is actually doing the thing, that's creating the transformation. You can get into the fire and you do the thing that scares you. So, for example, the people who say they want to lose weight, but they go to the gym and they do the same thing over and over and over and over and don't see results, They're not really doing anything that involves. Here's the key component of embodiment courage, courage, Any next level, anything that you want to do will require you to do something that will require courage.
Kimberly Spencer (00:21:38) - Maybe it will require you to push a little harder on the treadmill. Maybe instead of like at a level eight resistance or a level four resistance, you shift it up to a level eight or a level 12. And so you challenge yourself. You will have to challenge yourself in some way the embodiment principle of becoming and moving from wanting to want to wanting to actually embodying the person is that you are actively facing the discomfort, getting into the kiln of being transformed so that that clay of who you have been is molded into a pot. It is a completely different entity than soft, porous clay. It is, it is a physiological change on a cellular level. The embodiment comes from choosing to be in an active state of blissful discomfort, as Adam Pilot calls it. And that embodiment piece comes from asking yourself different questions How would my future self or sovereign self think of this? How would my sovereign self think of this experience? How would my sovereign self think of my body when I have the body that I desire to have? Thus you're doing actions not based on what you think you should be doing to achieve XYZ's goal.
Kimberly Spencer (00:22:57) - But the key of embodiment is that you're operating and embodying the principles that your future sovereign self already lives because that's already who they are. So the choices, decisions, and things that you do on a daily basis are either done differently, you're or you're doing completely different things, or you are doing them from a completely different belief system and state energetically. If you're going on a treadmill day after day after day after day, seeing no results. But that's just what you're doing and you're just doing what you're doing to try to get that result, then you're always going to be in that space of wanting to get that result versus if you go from the space of how does my highest, most sovereign self operate and think about her body and exercise and movement, you'll get an entirely different answer. The same is true with your business. How do the six--, seven--, and eight-figure business owners think about her business? What does she think? Think about her empire differently. How does she interact with people? How many people does she interact with per day? Because I guarantee you if you're constantly doing, doing, doing of like responding to commons, responding to messages, ET Cetera.
Kimberly Spencer (00:24:11) - And you're thinking, Oh my gosh, I have so many comments. Oh my gosh, I have so many messages. You're never going to get to the place where your future self is, where they constantly are responding to messages, or maybe they have an assistant or someone else who's responding as well in their community or on their team who's responding simply because you have so many messages. And if you want to get to a bigger platform, then the story that you're telling yourself as you're doing the thing that you're doing of like, Oh my gosh, I have some people to respond to and how do I get back to all these people all the time? Then you're telling your unconscious mind that you're already capped, so it's preventing you from actually expanding into that which you actually want, which is the embodiment principle of the next level, where you think of how does my sovereign CEO self think of responding? Does she respond with the same level of urgency? Does she respond with every comment? Does she give everyone her time or does she just drop an emoji from time to time instead of giving some long, detailed response to somebody who may not value that insight or input? So being able to discern from that space, think of how she is making decisions.
Kimberly Spencer (00:25:16) - He is making decisions that most sovereign self is making decisions, and then you work backward from there, embodying the principles of how they do what they do, what they're doing, and why they're doing what they're doing from the place that it's already yours. That is how you change. Going from wanting to want to want to having, doing, and being the version of you who already has does and is the thing that you desire to be doing have with that. I hope you love this episode and it is my intention that this message of transformation is able to ripple into the world. And if you've listened this far, then I know that you are on board with this. You have accepted the challenge and I hope it's not a strategy. So I'm going to be really clear and candid with my communication in this. I want you to share this with just one person, just one person who you feel could benefit from this message. Most podcasts are expanded and grown simply because one person refers to another person, and that is what I deeply desire.
Kimberly Spencer (00:26:27) - As we grow this podcast to reach more and more humans. I am so honored to be on this journey of transformation with you as we all are rising into our most sovereign selves. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you here. You be with you, hang out with you on the next episode. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you. Be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend. Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty. And if you're not already following me on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown yourself now for more inspiration. I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business, and life that rules because today you crown yourself.
