Kimberly Spencer (00:00:00) - Building an empire is a bit like gymnastics. I'm going to tell you the exact coaching that I heard. One really amazing father shared with his daughter that is applicable to how you run and how you scale and grow your empire and improve your life. Stay tuned. Welcome to the Crown Yourself podcast, where together we build your empire and transform your subconscious stories about what's possible for your business, body, and life. I'm your host, Kimberly Spencer, founder of CrownYourself.Com and I'm a master mindset coach, bestselling author, and TEDx speaker, known to my clients as a game changer. Each week you get the conscious leadership strategies you need to help you reign with courage, clarity, and confidence so that you too, can make the income and impact you deserve. Imagine this podcast as your royal invitation to step into your full potential and reign in your divine purpose. Your sovereignty starts here and your reign is now. Hey there, I'm Kimberly Spencer, founder of CrownYourself.Com and it's been a hot minute since I've recorded a new podcast episode.
Kimberly Spencer (00:01:11) - So I'm so excited to be back in the booth with you today. Just reveling in the fact that I overheard this conversation. Now, let me be clear. I don't always eavesdrop on conversations, but something in my intuition. I was sitting in the room with Colton where we were watching Declan do his gymnastics and Declan. Oh my gosh, I was so proud of this kid. Like my Declan is the one who had a lot of fear. Colton is totally the daredevil. And Declan, he was up on the balance beam, which back in Australia there were these like boardwalk workout areas. And one of the things was the balance beam. And he would not get on the balance beam without holding both my and Spike's hands. He was terrified of it. But now, with a little bit of coaching and a year's worth of training, he is up on the five-foot-high balance beam, doing little kicks and things on it. I was blown away and so proud of him. Meanwhile, I was in the room with Colton so Colton was obviously running all over the place and I was managing like to play with dinosaurs.
Kimberly Spencer (00:02:19) - Fortunately, there were other moms in the room who were very interested in Colton, or I should reframe that. Colton was very interested in them. Total ladies man. But I overheard this conversation between a father and his daughter, and I was so blown away by the quality of coaching from this father that I literally started writing down, word for word what was being said because I was like, this message is important and it needs to be heard. So I'm normally I would never do this, but something in my intuition was like, this is such a powerful and palpable moment and it can be applied to anything you want to pursue. So I'm going to read it to you. So to set the context of this conversation, his child was very, very concerned with the balance beams. Now, I don't know his child. I don't know whether she was in the class with Declan or whether she was in, at the same time, the pro team or the advanced team practices as well. So I don't know his child.
Kimberly Spencer (00:03:18) - I just know the circumstances of this conversation was she was really, really scared of the balance beams. And her father had some things to say about that. And so she had come up upstairs where the parents hang out to watch all the kids on the floor and was like, oh, I don't want to do this part. Like, “Can I skip this part?” Etc. and it was because she was so scared of falling. And how often, as entrepreneurs do we get scared of falling, failing, and all that? And so we played to not lose, not playing to win. And so here's what her father had to say to her. You can't say you want to do gymnastics, but you don't want to fall. You falling off and landing wonky is probably the best thing that will ever happen to you, because you need to know that you can move past it. You're so afraid of getting hurt that you're not trying and you're not making progress. What is the difference between walking across the big beam or the little one? Because in gymnastics there is the big beam that's up really high.
Kimberly Spencer (00:04:22) - And the little one, and she was like, oh, the little one is lower. And he said, the little one is lower, but it's narrower versus the big beam is wider. So you get to practice on a narrower beam, building up your confidence, but you have a higher likelihood of falling off the lower beam because it's narrower, it's skinnier. And this is what else he had to say. It's okay to not want to fall, but you have to accept that someday you may fall. It's a part of training. You have to decide what is more important to you. If the most important thing to you is not falling, then we're done with gymnastics. There's no need to be sad about it. But if you decide that the most important thing is gymnastics, then you need to get up on those beams and do whatever your coach tells you to do. Do you trust your coach? Yes. Okay, so what do you want to decide? Are you too scared of falling that you want to leave and stop gymnastics and try something different? Or are you willing to lean into the coaching that your coach provides, to trust their guidance, and to get up there and do it? I was like this.
Kimberly Spencer (00:05:37) - This is a metaphor for literally everything and the coaching on behalf of this parent. I was blown away because I have seen this having coached for nine years, visionary leaders that that fear of falling and that fear of failure prevents them from actually taking those next steps. And this is why when coaching, the tasking is so important in between the sessions. Because in the tasking, in the action steps of like, here's the things that you need to do in between sessions. That's the part where the person actually gets to practice and build up their own trust within themselves. So when I tell clients, and I've given this tasking a lot to clients, because many clients have come to me for support with their business, I say you need to have a weekly team meeting. And they're like, wait, what? Like a team meeting? But like, I don't have a team, I have VA. So I'm like, yeah, but if you want to grow to having $1 million business, then you need to make sure all the team is swimming in the same direction.
Kimberly Spencer (00:06:46) - So having a short weekly team meeting, I give them the framework, but it's up to them to implement it. The same is true with my newbie business owners when they're getting started and I say, okay, you're tasking for this week because we discuss sales is to go and make ten sales connections. And if they protest, I double it. So that's just me. That's how I coach. It's the challenger in me because the power comes from the act of doing it. The same is true when I've had clients come to me where they're successful in their business, but their relationships are falling apart. And I say you need to have three carve out three times throughout your schedule to have quality time and quality conversations with your child or with your spouse. Oh, and then the excuses come up. But it's true. No matter what it is goal that you're pursuing. If you say that the goal is important to you and that's something you want to work toward, but you aren't willing to do what the coach says as far as tasking is concerned, or your homework, then you're not actually committed to the goal.
Kimberly Spencer (00:08:00) - And then let's backtrack it even further on this phenomenal fatherly conversation. The piece about the beam. Oh my God. When I heard that, I was like, breakthrough for me because I was like, you're right, the lower beam is smaller and skinnier and you have a higher likelihood of falling off of that, but it prepares you so that you're used to training on a lower beam. So it prepares you for the high beam. So the high beam seems like no big deal. And there is a great book by Dan Sullivan called ten X is Easier than two X, and I forget the metaphor. I forget who gave it. I remember I was at, Brendan Bouchard's High Performance Academy, I think it was Anthony Trucks, and he was sharing about this hike. We're going to say that it's Anthony Trucks, but don't quote me on that. I think it might be, but he was sharing that. He went and hiked up some big mountain. I think it was just Yosemite. the one with the big waterfall that the free solo guide climbed up the rock face on.
Kimberly Spencer (00:09:00) - It's bananas. But on that hike, the hardest part was actually climbing through all the people at the bottom, because not a lot of people are actually aiming for the top. They're aiming for a decent view, something that's sustainable. A lot of people have very mediocre goals because the top there involves a little more work, and a little more effort. But the thing of climbing to the top and getting to that next level, there's far fewer people that are actually aiming for that. It was a principle that I learned from Tim Ferriss way early on, and when I had my e-commerce company, that people really aim for the middle, and because they're aiming for the middle, that's where it's most crowded. Most people aim at mediocre, at getting by, at having enough for like some savings and some, you know, fun trips. And that's, you know, basically it. They're not really aiming for the game-changer. Or at least their actions don't mirror their goals. So most people, they may say they have big dreams.
Kimberly Spencer (00:10:13) - This is why when I hear women who only 3% of women make it to a seven-figure business when women have the goal of getting to a seven-figure business, I question them hard on. Like, are they willing to put in the legwork to climb the mountain beyond the people, to do the things differently that allow you to get to that level? And I've coached many, many entrepreneurs into close to a million, over $1 million annual revenue years. And it comes from the tenacity of saying, I'm aiming for the top. I'm not aiming for just six figures. I'm not aiming for just a ten-month. I'm aiming for 100K. Now, the thing is, is that you get to practice the 10K, and that's why the practice on the lower beams is so essential. That's why the practice of closing higher ticket sales, or the practice of doing those activities and actions on a lower scale when your business is making less money. That's why even when my clients who are not yet in $1 million, but they're in the six figures and they're like, okay, let's go, let's get to that scaling point.
Kimberly Spencer (00:11:34) - I'm like, great, awesome. And you need to implement team meetings because if you want to have that, you're going to need to have a team of support. It doesn't have to be a huge team, but you need to have all your team rowing in the same direction. So practice the skill sets that you're going to need on that high beam on the lower beam. And so sometimes those practices, those skill sets, especially for visionary entrepreneurs who are so used to having their hands in everything, it's actually removing your hands from everything and delegating. And sometimes the practice, especially for visionary entrepreneurs, because those are my people. We understand each other, the creative types with too many ideas. The practice of focus and discipline is one that needs to be honed. So you won't be the multi-passionate entrepreneur who has 15 different projects, but none of them are actually profiting. So. They hold the focus, holding the discipline. Can you stick with one activity, one action, one goal, get to it, and then climb the next mountain? So you get to that level at, you know, the middle level that everybody's aiming for the 10K level.
Kimberly Spencer (00:12:47) - And then once you get to that level 10K months, can you grow to that next level? Can you let what are the practices that you need to have in place at the million-dollar level that you don't currently have in your business right now? Maybe that's taking time for yourself. This is a huge one. Huge. This is one that I did not do all too well in my e-commerce company at all, and it stifled our growth because I got so caught up in fear, in scarcity. Or as my dear friend Amanda Kaufman's son Braxton says, scarcity and you, like, kind of growl with it. And I was like, we're gonna use that. So anytime anybody in our family has a scarcity thought, we just go scarcity. And we put like, our hands up like claws and we're like, hey, because. And then we counter it with like, kind of like Iron Man does. And we're like up on dents and we like, shoot light out of our palms and that's, that's us, that's our signal of like, let's elevate our thinking.
Kimberly Spencer (00:13:47) - We are the creators of our story, etc.. So that visionary role being at a higher level of whatever goal it is that you're seeking to achieve, what are the practices that you need to be practicing on a lower beam right now that prepare you for that higher beam? So some of the practices are actually self-care. How are you taking care of yourself? How are you taking care of your body? How are you honoring yourself? How are you giving yourself breaks? Because the visionary needs space. The visionary needs space to create. And if you're in the grind of the day-to-day, doing all the things and doing all the stuff, then you don't have that space. So that's a skill that you practice on the low beam to get to the high beam. The same is true with delegation, automation, and building systems. And those are skill sets of like okay, practicing your delegating muscle, even if it's just a VA in a foreign country for a few hours a week, see what a few hours a week off your plate feels like.
Kimberly Spencer (00:14:49) - It's a muscle. We are not used to doing that, especially high achievers who, like me, were the ones that everybody wanted to be paired with in science class because you would be the one who gets the project done for everybody and gets everybody the a hurry and you do all the work. And that system, which I hate, is a part of education. I think teamwork is great, absolutely. But it's about delegation. It's not about I wish the grades would go for who delegated the most and who was the leader and how was how was the leading shown? Was the leading done with control, with hyper focus, and hyper management? And then, oh, I'll just do all the things myself because I probably can do it better than everyone else anyway, which is like, let's be honest, it's a highly egoic thing and I fully, I fully love on my 16-year-old self who used to have that belief system. because it's not true. You cannot do everything better than everybody else.
Kimberly Spencer (00:15:48) - You can do some things better than everybody else, and other people can do other things that are better than you. So owning what you need to delegate that other people are better at than you, that is a high-beam skill that you need to have mastered on the low beam. So you practice that so that by the time you're scaling to that multi-six figure seven figure point, that is where you have the power and you already have the practice in. So that the delegation at a higher level does not scare you. So the other piece that I loved about what this father said that I wrote down. Was that the fear of landing and how your failure is probably the best thing that would ever happen to you. And it's a question I regularly asked my clients that I pre-frame them and let them know, this is a question you're going to want to punch me in the face for, because you're in the middle of the suck and in the hurt, and whether it's the divorce or it's the, you know, cash flow crisis of your business, or it's the experience of your kids driving you absolutely up a frickin wall, and you're like, how do I juggle young children and building a business, whatever that quote-unquote failure or issue or challenges that you're facing, you falling on your face really is probably the best thing that ever happened to you.
Kimberly Spencer (00:17:13) - And I'm going to be honest, like 2023 was me falling on my face hard because I hit a massive upper limit problem that I didn't know I had. And because of that massive upper limit problem, I was so timid in my choices as a business owner that it resulted in a huge cash flow crisis. Huge. And it was not fun. And this is also on the cusp of, you know, having the the success of manifesting our dream home. And we have all this success and like, oh my gosh, this whole whole thing. And I'm in this beautiful home and I love it. And my kids are safe and they're doing all their activities and this perfect lifestyle design sort of thing from the outside. Yes, it's wonderful and great. And the paradox was, it made me so freaking scared that suddenly I was like much timider in my decision making. And so I wasn't holding my boundaries with clients, with contracts, with the team. And it was a costly mistake and I'm so grateful for it.
Kimberly Spencer (00:18:28) - But that was me falling off the beam. And I'm so grateful for it, because I know that I can pick myself back up. Because I know that where we are recouping our cash flow in both businesses, I know we are doing extraordinary things this year, and I know in my heart and soul because I fell off the beam. And you need to know that you can move past it if you're constantly playing not to lose because that was what I was doing last year. I was playing not to lose. I was so scared of loss that I wasn't actually playing to win. I was so scared of losing a client because we extended their contract an extra month, and I wasn't charging for it. Yeah. Let's be honest and be real. Where you know their code date and schedule, and all their coaching. And I was like, oh, okay. Well, I guess we can go over it. You still have like two months of coaching left so we can still go over your contract versus now.
Kimberly Spencer (00:19:23) - Now I'm like, we agree on this many sessions in this amount of time. If you need more sessions or if you don't complete all those sessions within this amount of time, then you are more than happy to purchase more sessions or another package, but you will only be getting that amount of sessions if you complete them in that amount of time. If you don't have that amount of time to complete all the sessions, then don't commit to the entire package. Very simple. And so learning those hard-core boundaries and establishing that masculine energy around the experience was a game changer. Game changer. Absolutely. Like 2023 was so challenging, not to mention furnishing and remodeling and things like that that we were doing at the same time, I'm so grateful that it happened because I now know that I can move past it. I got up, dusted myself off, pivoted our ideal customer avatar aimed directly at the target, and we have doubled down on our strategy to win, not just not to lose, because playing not to lose will always make you lose, even if it makes you feel safe at the moment.
Kimberly Spencer (00:20:35) - Playing not to lose will always make you lose eventually because you are focused on the wrong thing, you are focused behind you. You are focused on a fear of something that could possibly happen, and you get what you focus on. So if you're focused on playing not to lose, then you're gonna lose. So assess yourself. And from this conversation with this dad that I just got to, had the honor like such an honor to overhear. It was everything I needed and knew that I wanted to bring to you because I was like, yes, that was the lesson that I learned last year. Yes, that was the thing that I learned. And the thing of deciding the last piece of this, of this conversation, the decision. If the most important thing is not falling, then be done with being an entrepreneur. That is hard. And that is honestly a struggle that I wrestled with last year. I constantly thought we had income coming in from our investments. We have things, you know, we have our house like we are good, we are financially really good.
Kimberly Spencer (00:21:49) - And so. Investing and pouring more money into my businesses to pull them out of a cash flow crunch. Is that the best use of that? Like. And then all the work and all the energy and all the effort and all of that. Is that something that I am willing to do and to risk as well? And there were days that I would be totally transparent and I was like, it would be so much easier if I was just a mom. Like, financially, we're good. So the purpose of these businesses, I had to assess and dig deep as far as like, what is my why and really connect because I had a Y before. And I got a little burnt out, and I didn't take some vacations that really needed to be taken. And it wasn't that I had fallen in the past and the past couple of years. If you've been listening to this podcast between moving twice in one year, losing three family members, now four family members and two family friends within the span of just a couple of years, like and having a second baby and birthing a second business.
Kimberly Spencer (00:23:00) - There was a lot where I had a lot of grief, and I had a lot of falling to pick myself back up from and ashes to rise from. I was literally rising from the ashes of the identities of who I was to my father, to my aunt, to my Nana. To my uncle. To my friend. All of those identities of who I had been. Now that they have passed. Those were gone. And I had to assess who do I want to be? And there were days where I thought, yeah, I could really, really just be a mom. And then I had some of those days and I was like, I miss my brain. I miss thinking, I miss building, I miss creation, I miss figuring things out. And that's when I got started writing the book Make Every Podcast Want You that's coming out in August. And that's how I got our team on track with our mission. And that's how I'm getting us on track with our cash flow. And that was such a game changer that I am so happy that I went through because I just had to stop telling myself the story of how I couldn't do it, of how I was playing not to lose.
Kimberly Spencer (00:24:19) - And I had to start having agency and making the choice of this business is succeeding. It is successful. And I also had to have a dose of humility to say, yeah, I fell because, man, the humanness of humility. I did not want to admit to myself. After having multiple successful high-profit yield margins. High, high, like 300% growth, 150% growth of our profit margins, and 35% gross revenue increase in 2021 2022. We got we got a little stymied and stifled. And it just kind of stayed stagnant. And then 2023 was the hard part because I didn't adapt and I didn't make decisions quickly. And I'm okay with that because I know that I can pick myself back up because we already have. And so there is power in the decision to play to win. And there is power. When you look at what is it that you need to do now to prepare yourself for the high beam. What are the things that are going to actually be easier on the high beam because you've been practicing them on the lower beam? Very simple things.
Kimberly Spencer (00:25:32) - So some very simple practices that I put in place that I was like, oh yeah, that's what I was doing when back in 2020 and 2021 when we had such epic growth. Tracking KPIs. So boring and it's so sexy. It's going to be the best thing in your business. Tracking KPIs to know where your data is. No, it's actually being numbers-driven instead of feelings-driven. I was driving my business from feelings after grief. Really really, really poor choice. So KPIs, huge. Having systems and processes, huge. Being willing to let people go. Huge. Being willing to downsize. Huge. Necessary. What do you need to downsize and let go of? What systems? What strategies? We took our entire CRM for Crown Yourself, which is customer relationship management that we have had for nine years or since 2016. So we happened eight years, seven years. It was seven years when we chucked it. And we took all those systems, all those processes, and we chuck them. Absolutely.
Kimberly Spencer (00:26:42) - Just chuck them. And I was so grateful that we did because now we have simplicity. Now we have everything under one roof. We use Kajabi for both businesses and it is great. It is great. It is simple. It is streamlined. It doesn't have all the functionality and all the data and all the things that maybe we'll need someday later. But for right now, we don't need that amount of data like the data that, you know, other CRM provides is sometimes like super insane, super overwhelming, and not really necessary to like, is this actually growing? Like, if every single percentage of a click or like tiny percentage of a movement of the needle results in hundreds of thousands of dollars of revenue for your business, then yeah, track every single cent. Absolutely. And we do track every single cent. But the percentages of like, here's a micro movement and a micro shift that results in $100,000 shifts in our business. Great. You need a more advanced CRM. If you're looking at how do I contain a cash flow crunch, how do I handle this and process forward and move forward and know exactly what's working without all of the data? For all of the things, then going with a simpler program can be very beneficial cost wise because you're not paying as much, and you also still get the data that you need to see what is a lifetime value of a customer? What is the cost per impression for ads? What is the cost per click? What is the cost per page for you? You get to see those data still, but it's not all these micro data points that may or may not be 100% necessary, depending upon the size of your business.
Kimberly Spencer (00:28:18) - If you're $100 million business or a $25 million business, I would say differently. But if you are in the six figures, multiple six figures, or high six figures, seven low seven, those phases. Don't they need data? You do need your data points, but you don't need to micromanage your data. So for example, I take it, with fitness, right? With fitness, if you're just simply losing, like looking to lose weight, you don't need to track every single macro and micronutrient that you're putting in. You need to see, if am I consuming more than I expected during the day. And that is a simple practice of like, okay, what did I eat? Putting it in a tracking app. How much energy did I expend? Did I go for a walk? Did I do some elliptical? Did I do some Pilates? Okay, I'm eating more than I expend great good data. Now I know what I need to do. Maybe exercise more, maybe a little less, maybe a little, a little bit of both.
Kimberly Spencer (00:29:17) - But for the basics, like for the basics, if you're just looking to lose a little bit of weight and say, okay, I need to move my body more, then that allows you to make the shift versus tracking every single like micro macronutrient that you're putting into your body. Now, some additional testing might show that, okay, you're struggling to lose weight because of thyroid challenges or because of hormone imbalances or heavy cortisol. That data can be important. Like that was data that I also found out last year where suddenly, over the course of 12 months, I gained ÂŁ25 and I'm at the heaviest that I have ever been without a baby inside of me. Literally, I weigh as much as I had when I had coltan inside of me. And it's not about weight, just like money is not about the numbers. It's about how you feel inside your body. And I was feeling bloated. I was feeling gross. And I looked at, okay, what do I need to be tracking? Bare minimum.
Kimberly Spencer (00:30:17) - And I went for additional testing, got additional results, and it was like, oh, my cortisol is off the charts. And that's why it's stimulating mono to happen again. And my body is saying, Dear God, for the love of God rest. Rest. And it was in that moment where I said, okay, I need to decide, am I going to focus on my health or am I going to allow myself to continue down a path of burning out? And I had to decide, and I decided that I was going to do rest, but resting in my way. So the key is, is that. Looking at what is the data points, and I needed to get some additional data. That was where some additional data was required. I got that additional data and I said, okay, great. Now I have the data. Now I know what's going on. Great. I know I need to eliminate the wine, the coffee, and the stimulants for a while, and then focus on moving my body in an intentional way on a regular basis, because I was not moving my body enough.
Kimberly Spencer (00:31:20) - I also truly believe that I connected into my astrological chart and into some other spiritual practices that I have, and I looked at where in my astrological chart, because health and fitness are in your house. Five and I looked at what was ruling House five, and I adapted my fitness to fit that, because even though my doctor was saying don't do high intensity, I was like, my body needed it, needed running and cardio like nobody's business like. And that's the archetype that really rules my house in the fifth house. But that's me. That's not I'm not necessarily saying defy your doctor's beliefs, but since doing that, my body has felt different. It's felt more energized and better and happier because I looked at the data and I decided to play to win. So being able to fall off the wagon is one of the best things that ever happened to you. Because when you know that, you can move past it. Like I know that with health, with finances, with all of that, we are able to move past it.
Kimberly Spencer (00:32:25) - It's a game changer for your confidence and for your trust. So allow yourself to trust yourself to play, to win. Not play, not to lose, play to win. And go forth and put in the practices on the low beam that you need to also have at the high beam. So by the time you get to the high beam, it makes those practices seem so much easier because you've already been doing them. So the high beam practice that I had to start practicing last year was a remembrance of my own exercise of my commitment to my body, my commitment daily to work out my body. That was my high beam practice. That had been a huge pillar in my success in the past few years. And that was one of the things that I let go of. And I was back on the low beam again. And so I needed to get in that high beam practice. So, you know, we fast forward, we put it in a gym, and I have literally no excuse to not get myself on that elliptical, get myself on the treadmill, go to Pilates because it is literally.
Kimberly Spencer (00:33:37) - 20 steps away from my bedroom door. So those practices, that was one of the high beam practices that I needed to have so that as the visionary CEO for two companies, by the way, that level of physical exertion was required for me to be operating at my highest level to sustain a company and to sustain its growth. So what are the practices that you need to put in place for your body, for your mindset, for your business? Those are the ones that will be you. You will continue to do and sustain on the high beam. You just need to start practicing them on the lower beam. I hope this episode inspired you. I hope you love this episode as much as I did. As far as the learnings from this amazing stranger, this is what Carl Jung would call synchronicities because you never know where a learning or a lesson is going to show up. And I am fully aware that this learning for me was so divinely timed that I had to share it with you. And I'm so excited and honored to see what you learn from it from this episode.
Kimberly Spencer (00:34:47) - As always, own your throne. Mind your business because your reign is now. Thank you so much for tuning in today. If what you heard resonated with you, be sure to subscribe and start creating a bigger impact now by sharing this with a friend.
Kimberly Spencer (00:35:01) - Just by doing that one simple act of kindness, you are creating a royal ripple to support more people in their sovereignty. And if you're not already following on social media, connect with me everywhere at Crown Yourself Now for more inspiration. I am so excited to connect with you in the next episode, and in the meantime, go out there and create a body, business, and life that rules because today you crown yourself.
