THIS doesn’t look like Marie Forleo at all.
I was on a consult call the other week with a self-employed solopreneur who was eager to grow her business and her online presence.
“But,” she said, “I don’t have a team. I don’t have good lighting for videos. I barely even have a good enough phone.” She continued to list the things she didn’t have, ”I don’t have a big following. I barely have a list. I don’t have...I don’t have…”
I had to stop her, “You do have an awful lot of excuses, though.”
That stopped her right in her tracks.
“But no one will take me seriously if I don’t look professional,” she countered, to which, I shared this…
“Actually, people will only take you seriously when you are SERIOUSLY committed to what you do.”
Here’s the thing…
YOU ARE EITHER COMMITTED TO YOUR MISSION OR YOU’RE COMMITTED TO YOUR EXCUSES.
And, look, I stumbled and fumbled so many...
Why High Achievers Struggle to Meditate
“I can barely sit still for 5 minutes.” I used to pride myself on always doing. DOING. DOING. DOING. Where my high achievers at, yo!
Sitting still was NOT my jam.
Give me music blasting in my ears and 30-minutes at a steady clip of 6.0 miles per hour and I was golden. Moving meditations I could do. Running, pilates, pole dancing, anything that allowed my body to just release and express and let go.
But...
Being alone and quiet in my head used to be a dangerous place for me to rest in because I wasn’t at rest.
I wasn’t at peace with myself. I warred with the light and the darkness.
I judged the negative comments and criticism with more judgments and criticism. “I shouldn’t be feeling [INSERT WHATEVER NEGATIVE EMOTION OR CRAPPY THOUGHT].” And down I would spiral.
When I was 17, struggling through bulimia, major depression, perfectionism, and past trauma. I was a classic type-A, high achiever, never...
Perfect doesn’t sell. THIS Does.
Remember, back in 2013, when Jennifer Lawrence was just getting on the scene, eating burritos, breaking all the rules, and the equally talented, but seemingly perfect Anne Hathaway, was scrutinized for her perfection. In fact, at one time if you googled Anne Hathaway and “annoying” you’d get 1.5 million search results.
Crazy. So what gives? They both are equally talented. They both won Academy Awards.
What’s the big dif?
Anne Hathaway came across as perfect. Jennifer Lawrence came across as human.
THERE’S A STRANGE PSYCHOLOGICAL DICHOTOMY WHERE THE MORE PERFECT YOU APPEAR THE LESS RELATABLE YOU ARE.
THE MORE HUMAN - MEANING YOU OWN YOUR FLAWS - THE MORE RELATABLE YOU ARE, THE MORE PEOPLE SEE YOU AS PERFECT.
One is your perception of perfection. The other is the audiences’ perception of perfection.
It’s no secret, that high achievers tend to be perfectionists.
We think that we have to have all our...
The Business Game with COVID-19
The landscape of business may have shifted. But the game is still the same. If you have a business that is even remotely online, you’re in the game, babe.
What’s that game you ask? Solving problems.
BUSINESS SOLVES PROBLEMS.
Every product, every service, everything that has ever been created was to solve a problem.
If you as an entrepreneur are seeing this COVID-19, quarantine, stay at home pandemic as a problem, you’re not looking through the wrong end of the telescope.
This isn’t about the disease.
THIS IS ABOUT THE SOLUTIONS FOR THE PEOPLE OF THIS PLANET TO STILL REMAIN CONNECTED TO BEAUTY, GROWTH, LIFE, BUSINESS, AND TO CREATE A NEW NORMAL THROUGH THIS TIME.
The solutions for people stuck in isolation.
The solutions for people starving for peace in a time rampant with fear.
The solutions for people craving for connection, yet completely unable to receive it.
The solutions for a married couple wanting to have a zesty fun marriage - but they’re...
The Energy of Cost vs. The Energy of an Investment
Everything is a form of energy. Food is. Relationships are. Business is. Money is.
You receive energy. You generate energy - meaning you have it circling about you in some way. And you spend energy.
IT’S ALL ENERGY.
Ever spend your time with someone who, after an hour or so, you felt completely drained, zapped of life, like you just needed to take a nap. You received their energy and spent your own energy...and not in the best way, or in the best life-giving relationship.
The same is true for our relationship with money.
HOW we spend money is just as important as WHAT we spend it on and WHY we are spending it.
And it comes down to one simple principle of money...
COST vs. INVESTMENT
When something is a “cost,” it means something is taken away, sacrificed. It’s an either/or energy. Something comes at the EXPENSE of something else. “Cost” is rooted in scarcity.
And all scarcity comes from fear.
When something is an...
What No One Tells You About the Law of Attraction
Like attracts like. The Secret. You can manifest money as you desire. Choose to attract what you want in your life - more money, more health, more business, more amazing relationships.
All totally true. All 100% possible.
But what happens when your actions and behavior, consciously or unconsciously, is out of fear or scarcity?
See, that’s the part of the Law of Attraction that’s not so sexy.
Like attracts like after all.
SCARCITY BREEDS MORE SCARCITY.
If you’re operating right now from a place of scarcity and fear - hunkering down, budgeting, getting “needy” for clients - you will absolutely 100% attract prospects and clients who are doing the same.
This is how the world spins into a worldwide recession.
Everyone gets scarce. People stop spending.
Money is a flow of energy and it responds to what you’re putting out into the world.
Your feelings are energy.
And how you feel when you sell and when you...
Discover the Magic of Your “Genius Zone”
If you’re experiencing a struggle right now in your virtual business with the dolla dolla bills flowing in - there’s no freaking excuse. A restaurant, gym, brick and mortar, or event-based business, yes, they’re getting hit hard right now.
But if you’ve got online biz, or even a portion of your biz online and you’re not bringing in money now when MORE people are online and doing business online than ever before....then, it’s both because of what you’re doing and more importantly, it’s because you’re not BEING the dang thing consistently.
Questioning yourself. Doubting. Delaying on doing those things. Getting mired in the spiral of “productive procrastination” - doing all the things - except for those in your genius zone.
Your Genius Zone is a magical place.
It goes against every bit of plagiarized programming you’ve got.
It’s easy.
It’s practically effortless.
So when you suddenly...
Surrender the Form
On the flight over to Australia, I got MY fill of Marvel movies. International flights used to be my jam. Strapped in a seat, I’d get so much work done. Laser focus, baby! That was before Declan.
When we took our first trip overseas to Australia, that was a 16-hour lesson for me in surrendering to what was. Declan was one at the time. I was squished into the middle seat between Spike and a large Samoan man, holding my overly exhausted baby boy, who then proceeded to nurse...for the WHOLE flight. Yeah. That was rough. I learned to surrender the form of how I traveled and the expectation to be able to get ANYTHING done while on a plane with a child...other than taking care of my kid.
So for this flight, I had to
Ex when you face your worst fear, the fear loses its power
Learn the lessons
SURRENDER THE FORM OF HOW YOU DO BUSINESS
This is why knowing your values is so critical because you can always pivot into a knee form when you know your purpose.
I didn’t...
The Most Important Skillset You Can Train
Never before has there been more of a need to tap into your resilience.
This world right now requires GRIT.
The hunger to get back up again, to go back into the proverbial arena, and to show up boldly like never before.
People are looking for leaders. I don't care whether you have one person following you, 20 people in your group, or 20,000.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THE NUMBER, IT'S ABOUT WHAT YOU INSPIRE AND IGNITE WITHIN THOSE PEOPLE.
To paraphrase one of my awesome clients, Jessica McCann who wrote her thesis on resilience and grit, shared on my podcast, the life experience and training ground of strengthening your resilience muscle is waaaaaaay different than theorizing about it.
RESILIENCE TAKES YOU GETTING IN THERE DAY IN AND DAY OUT, USUALLY WHEN YOU REALLY DON'T WANT TO, BUT YOU DO IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WORKING TOWARD.
You know the payoff.
Maybe it's having that amazing body that you feel so confident in...so you get up and you go for that run or you do that virtual...
Time to face the shadows
When I was a kid, I would have nightmares - horrible dreams that someone was chasing me with the intent to hurt me. After weeks of experiencing the same dream over, and over, my mom told me, “Turn and face it. Whatever it is that you’re running from, turn and face it?”
Maybe it’s grief.
Maybe it’s fear.
Maybe it’s anger.
Maybe it’s shame.
Maybe it’s guilt.
Maybe it’s a combination of all of them.
Your subconscious mind represses negative memories until it’s ready to process them. It does it because it loves you. It does it to keep you safe, to protect you. It does it because it loves you.
In times of crisis, sometimes this repressed, hidden, shadow side comes out. It gets triggered. The sleeping giant awakens.
You fear it’s too big. Too powerful. Too strong to face.
You’re David and it feels like a mother-fucking behemoth, roided-out version of Goliath.
