I was watching a documentary on Freud as I had my lunch. It was a day when Decky was in Pre-K and Spike was at the gym, so I could watch what others would call in my house “boring docuseries” or things that aren’t really appropriate for a three-year-old. 

Freud’s influence on modern culture is undeniable - from how we think about sex to how we think about ourselves. 

And while I’m more of a Jungian gal myself, when you think of psychoanalysis, it’s Freud who culturally first comes to mind. 

But, on the show, it was hypothesized Freud’s work was in part the catalyst to spark our current culture of narcissism filled with selfies, look-at-me-posting, and pictures of lunches. 

As someone who uses selfies in much of my work and my business, and who shares regularly, openly about my life...

It got me thinking...

What makes a personal brand (aka a business) different than a narcissist?

And suddenly, it became very clear. 

...

I used to hide from the parts of myself I hated - the hypocrite, the negative, the jealous bitch, the victim, the whiny brat. 

Typically, I’m a  pretty positive person. 

BUT THERE ARE DAYS WHEN THE DOUBT RAGES OR THE FEAR FEELS ALL TOO CONSUMING.

And usually, there is a thought - just one on repeat that’s like “It’s a small world,” where now you can’t get it out of your head, can you?

And it’s there. And it sucks.

Problem is…

Ignoring it.

PRETENDING LIKE IT DOESN’T EXIST. 

Trying to “think positive” your way out of it.

Yeah, that doesn’t work. 

Having coached high-achieving personal development junkies for the past four years, I’ve seen this fear. It’s practically a version of having any feelings that don’t match the “high positive vibes” we typically live in day to today. 

IF NEGATIVITY IS YOUR KRYPTONITE TOO, KEEP READING.

Because what happens when...

I took a french fry from Declan’s plate. He looked at me with a combination of determination and fear, “No mama. That’s my fry.”

I smiled. He’s been going through this “my” phase. He thinks me sharing with him is him sharing with me. 

Is three the age that the ego comes into play?

Anyway...

I looked at him and smiled, waving the fry in the air, “We can always get more,” I said as I bit into the crispy warm exterior and felt the soothing steam of potato.

Maybe that french fry was magical?

Maybe it was in my delivery?

But something clicked. 

Decky smiled, “We can always get more,” he said, practically throwing the line away, claiming it as his own.

Now anytime he shares with me, or I share with him, he says…

“We can always get more.”

It got me thinking - 

Is a scarcity mindset born or bred?

Or both. 

Scientists studied three generations of mice. In the first generation, the mouse...

I’m going to level with you here…

Ownership sometimes sucks.

It’s no fun to be wrong.

To make a mistake.

To f*up.

To fight fires...that YOU created. 

And I do it...daily. 

But…

You've gotta OWN IT.

Growth requires challenge, stress, and pushing past your perception of what is possible.

Sometimes that means that you won’t know what it means to go too far or to do too much until you’ve done it.

Because you’re heading into the unknown and that means you won’t know something until you know it, you know?

Just like with the body, sometimes you don’t know how sore you’re going to be in the middle of working out...but tomorrow or the next day, boy! Do you know. 

You feel the soreness from having pushed beyond your edge. 

Maybe that means you hold off on going back to the gym for a couple of days because your hamstrings are just shredded. 

Or maybe it just means you do a really light gentle stretch workout...

If you listen to the news or scroll through Facebook you probably see countless reports on unemployment and how people are out of work, layoffs, and stories of struggle and suffering economically. 

Not my clients, though!

In one week, three of my private clients GREW their teams!!! 

That’s 4 more jobs that were created BECAUSE they chose to do the work that it takes to grow their business and to do it in their genius zone. 

THIS is the power of one, having a growing business, and two, being a badass entrepreneur who chooses to do business smartly by NOT doing it all yourself. 

Here’s the thing…

The struggle, the suffering, and the hours and hours of busy-work…

IS NOT REQUIRED. 

Let me say it again for the cheap seats in the back…

YOU DON’T GET EXTRA CREDIT FOR SUFFERING THROUGH HOURS UPON HOURS OF BUSY-WORK.

In fact, I have seen time and time again that the MORE time you spend in your Zone of Genius the MORE money you...

“IT’S HOW YOU THINK ABOUT YOUR BODY!” I MARVELED WHEN I HAD THIS REVELATION. 

When I first started teaching Pilates back when I was still bulimic, I worked with hundreds of bodies and I saw that it didn’t matter whether you were technically fat or technically thin, whether you worked out 5 days a week or once a month, or whether you ate healthily or you didn’t…

WHAT MATTERED WAS HOW YOU THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR BODY - THE STORY THAT YOU TOLD YOURSELF ABOUT WHY YOU HAD OR DIDN’T HAVE THE RESULTS YOU WANTED. 

Now, as a business owner, I see the exact same pattern with the leaders I work with and the results (aka income) they’re bringing in.

IT’S ABOUT THE STORY YOU’RE TELLING YOURSELF ABOUT WHY YOU HAVE OR DON’T HAVE THE RESULTS YOU WANT. 

Why is it that most small businesses fail in the first 3 years? It comes down to one thing - the mindset of the leader. And that ripples into the skillsets they acquire, the...

“Who do you admire?” I asked my client.

“Well...Tony Robbins, Rachel Hollis, You, Brendon Burchard.” 

I stopped in my tracks. Just to be listed among that list of my mentors - I mean,  words of affirmation are my love language, and I received an avalanche at that moment. Holy moly. “Receive it. Receive it,” I thought. I did and then from that place I asked her…

“Why? What is it you admire them?”

“BECAUSE THEY INSPIRE LEADERS.”

So many people out there are so busy counting how many followers they have - do I have more or fewer followers? 

Yet, “influencers” with audiences, or at least follower counts way bigger than mine are broke and struggling to monetize their audience - struggling to make even 4-figures a month, let alone five. 

...But they’ve got a FOLLOWING.

And that’s the problem.

WHEN YOU CREATE A CULTURE OF FOLLOWING IN YOUR BUSINESS - YOU AS THE “GURU”...

Do you live for those precious morning hours? Do you love the smell of the crisp, fresh morning air when it’s still dark out?

If you had told me when I was 16 that I would easily be waking up at 4:15 every morning...and LOVE it...I would have said you’re on something.

Back then I was a total night owl.

Burn the midnight oil!

That was my motto. 

My best friend and I would jokingly, and kind of seriously call each other late in the evening with questions about school projects. Sometimes we’d just call each other in solidarity of working together past midnight...even if we weren’t working on the same project.

Then, there was a time in between when I first started teaching Pilates where I tried to do both early mornings with 6 AM clients and late nights at networking events in Hollywood or pounding away on my keyboard writing the latest draft of a screenplay. Sure, I’d take a siesta in between. And that worked through my twenties, but not so much now...