After my mom sat on me when I was 16-years old, pinning me down in the hallway as I fought her relentlessly to go puke my food out, and essentially saving my life (thanks mom!), I had the wake-up call I needed as she screamed at me “I love you, Kim, I’m not going to let you kill yourself!”

I realized was on the slow path to suicide - because that’s what all eating disorders are. I didn’t want to die. But I didn’t know how to live. 

I didn’t have the HOW, but I had the WHO.

My mom. 

I had someone else who was rooting for me to succeed in my quest to live healthily and whole, a quest that would take me 5 more years to fully recover from.

But I did.

And the advice that got me through...

"Be kind to yourself," she said.

Bulimia.

Perfectionism.

Self-sabotage.

Apathy.

Rebellion.

It showed up in ALL areas of my life, from my body to my relationships to my bank account to my business.

Do you know what had to change? 

Me.

I had to...

I was asked recently on a podcast what I think is the most insidious problem facing the world today. In one word I said this, “BLAME.”

YOU SEE, BLAME IS A RESULT.

It's the effect.

And it causes more shitty results.

It gets you stuck in a cycle of being either the victim of your circumstances or the villain of your life, swinging the pendulum back and forth, but never actually gaining momentum forward.

Blame is a natural, and biological response. 

In fact, in my upcoming book, Rule Your Body (which you can totally pre-order now BTW), I dive deep into this “just world bias” of blame.

We as humans naturally have a desire to see things as “fair.” You hear it all the time if you have a toddler - “That’s not...what?” You got it: “fair.”

OUR BRAINS SEEK TO MAKE SENSE OF THE INSENSIBLE. WHEN THINGS DON’T SEEM FAIR OR “RIGHT” WE TRY TO FIND WAYS TO JUSTIFY (AKA “MAKE JUST” OR “WAYS TO...

Can we just take a hot second to celebrate how awesome YOU are?

You and all your quirks...that make you unique, special, and one-of-a-kind.

You and all your mistakes...that you're learning from every day.
You and all your successes...that make you a freaking badass at what you do!

You and all your faults...that strengthen your self-compassion and your immense empathy for others.

YOU AND ALL YOUR JOYS...THAT RADIATE THE CONTAGION OF HAPPINESS.

You and all your roles...that you probably need to give yourself a lot more credit for (if we're being honest here.)

The number one reason most of my clients come to work with me is NOT that they want to build a business. 

It's NOT for my strategies, or my systems, or my digital nomad, have two babies, live in Australian lifestyle.

It’s NOT that they want to even make more money (although they always do want to).

The number ONE REASON why my clients come to me is this:

It's for FREEDOM + EASE.

Here's the thing...

Freedom and ease are a BYPRODUCT of your choices.

You CHOOSE to have freedom when you CHOOSE to end your workday after 6 hours.

You CHOOSE to have ease when you take care of the things that have been burning a hole in your brain instead of letting them fester.

You CHOOSE to do what you want when you fucking DECIDE you're doing what you want when you want...like me taking my kiddo out for a midday swim, sun and sand time at our pool.

If your CHOICES don't back your intention (aka - the desire to have FREEDOM + EASE), THAT is when you feel stuck.

That is when things feel hard...

Do you have any idea just how powerful YOU are? 

Your body has the power to heal itself. 

When you get a cut, your body immediately goes to work in healing it. 

You don’t have to think about it. 

You don’t have to work hard for it to heal. It heals.

You bandage that bad boy up and - voila! - within a couple of days your body has healed itself.

When you break a bone, you set it and forget it. 

Your body goes to work on healing itself.

You don’t have to think about it.

You don’t have to force it to happen

And after 6-8 weeks that cast comes off, the area where you broke that bone is actually stronger than it was before.

Your body becomes stronger because of the break. 

YOUR STORY HAS THE POWER TO TRANSFORM LIVES.

Your creations have the power to generate exploration and discovery.

Your words have the power to heal with love.

Your actions have the power to inspire others.

Your work has the power to deeply and profoundly impact...

When I first heard this idea from one of my mentors that “buyers are liars,” I was triggered every which way from Sunday.

What do you mean I don’t know what I want?

Do you think I’m lying to myself about what I desire?

And then I realized...after telling my ego to chill TF out...yeah, I’m guilty of lying to myself too when I buy. 

Less now, after several years of reshaping my money mindset, I was totally a giant liar-face to myself when I signed up for my first coach and coaching certification program. 

I THOUGHT what I wanted was the certificate.

I THOUGHT I wanted the fancy pants credentials.

I THOUGHT I wanted the validation of someone saying “here’s a piece of paper that gives you legitimacy to coach.”

I THOUGHT I needed the “how” of other people’s processes to be able to coach.

When honestly…

I just wasn’t trusting myself enough to do the dang thing in the first place. 

Don’t get...

I have a belief. I’ll warn you…it’s quite controversial.

You see, I used to have this desperate, dire fear of being wrong. GASP! NO! Say it isn’t so! 

This fear-based belief led me down a dark and windy, lonely road to perfectionism.

All or nothing. Nothing was ever good enough. 99% = Failure. Only 100% or more. Extra credit on the side!

IT SPIRALED ME DOWN INTO CONSTANT SELF-SABOTAGE BECAUSE AFTER ENOUGH TIME TRYING TO GO ALL IN AND BE THE BE-ALL, DO-ALL EVENTUALLY YOU THROW YOUR HANDS UP AND SAY “FUCK IT” AND REBEL AGAINST YOURSELF.

It’s like running a marathon, getting to mile 20, hitting your wall, and because you slowed your pace down (heavens forbid!) you force yourself sadistically to go back to the starting line because you’re not running at the same pace, at the same ridiculously high standards you held yourself to…instead of just finishing the dang race.

Therein lay years of self-sabotage, guilt, shame, and...

There is so much emphasis placed on “having confidence.” these days. It seems like everyone wants to know how to “have confidence”.

Where’d my confidence go?

If I only was confident, then I’d [GO AHEAD AND FILL IN THE BLANK]

As if it could just magically disappear or arrive in your life.

When I first started my business I was NOT confident. In fact, I doubted myself every step of the way, so much so, I made literally ZERO dollars for the first 1.5 years.

Why?

Because I was constantly WAITING for the magical day to be confident THEN have everything fall into place.

Here’s the thing…

Confidence is NEVER the cause.

It is never the catalyst.

It is never the spark of creation.

COURAGE is.

Confidence is the EFFECT of taking daily, regular courageous action.

Confidence is a RESULT, not a requirement to get started. 

When you put the emphasis on confidence, it’s like putting the emphasis on the wrong syllable of a word - it makes...

I remember back before Decky was born when my business was making pittance - and by that I mean, absolutely nada - that I was living in the lap of this one luxury.

No, it was not our one-bedroom apartment in Koreatown.

Nor was it the fancy designer handbags and shoes I’d vigilantly saved up to buy year after year.

This was a time when I had very little responsibility aside from paying some credit card bills and for my second-hand fancy Audi that I thought made me a badass. To be fair, I loved and manifested my car - Cecilia - and manifested a heck of a deal for a Q5, but, to be honest, it was just another “instagrammable” showing of “success” rather than fully embodying it. 

I was in this place in life, where I didn’t really HAVE to grow. 

I didn’t really HAVE to be courageous.

I didn’t even HAVE to get scrappy with my thinking, or resources because I always had JUST ENOUGH coming in to cover my expenses...kinda.

I had just...