Even I have days where I want to quit, where I wonder what's the f*ing point in all this work. 

Where I literally question EVERYTHING and want to choose the easy road, where the questions tickle my mind…

Maybe I could be normal?

Maybe I could just settle for another job, something that I didn't really care about and allow my art and creativity and absolutely love for what I do go to the back burner or go onto simmer?

Maybe I could tone it down and not have such big dreams? 

Maybe I could TRY, desperately, to quiet the voice inside of me that pushes me on to do MORE, have MORE, be MORE?

Because with passion for potential comes PAIN when people don’t recognize that their DREAM IS POSSIBLE. 

When they finally throw in the towel and settle for mediocrity instead of backing themselves on the grounds of certainty, safety, and the construct of “a sure thing”…

When really, let’s be honest,...

Declan‘s “trucks” really sounds it’s rhyming f-bomb. Thing is, trash trucks are currently his favorite thing on the planet. Every morning at our place in the Gold Coast we have at least three to six pass-and-collects by our giant floor to ceiling windows...beginning at 6:14 AM. And while the windows provide a world-class surround-sound experience earlier than I would like at that moment (I’m still in my quiet-hours of morning routine + getting stuff done), Declan is ecstatic, enraptured in over-the-moon jubilation over these waste vehicles.

I mean, picture Mick Jagger or Tony Robbins or Lady Gaga style fandom, and that is my son - a garbage truck groupie. 

Unapologetic for his unabashed love of waste receptacle vehicles. 

And the joy he experiences...EVERY. SINGLE. MORNING....is the BEST cup of Decky you could ever have. 

His joy got me thinking…

When did we start corralling our excitement for the little...

You know when you find that movie or that show. You know…that one. The one that you just can’t stop thinking about it. When you’re chatting with your fellow socially distanced mates, the Netflix recommendation just pours out of your mouth amidst thirty “OMG, OMG, you have to watch this!” And, “It’s soo good,” which is appropriately said on repeat because the show just leaves you in awe, inspired, on the edge of your seat, excited for the next one, eager to enjoy it.

Now think about how you promote your products and services. When you talk about it, do you talk about it with the same level of excitement and joy? Does it have the same amount of “OMG’S” and “It’s soooo good!” You have to watch this, do that, buy now, or any other CTA.

Both are buying conversations. Persuasion is persuasion. 

Here’s the thing…

IF YOU ARE NOT THE BIGGEST FAN OF YOUR BUSINESS, OF YOUR PRODUCTS, AND...

“You’re frustrated.” I could see it in her eyes, as they welled up with tears about to cry. 

She’d done all the visualizing. She’d journaled and future-casted, prayed, entered the astral-plane, dropped into the 5-D. She’d created more vision boards in 1 year than most do in their lifetime. She meditated, constantly, incessantly, daily. She raised her vibe, tapped into the frequency, experienced the Divine. She’d gone through therapy, reiki, sound-healing, trauma counseling, prayer-circles, support groups. She’d taken classes in neuroscience, courses in mindset, courses in Miracles. She’d surrounded herself with quartzes and played Solfeggio Hz frequencies every hour. She’d invested in herself, buying programs, hiring mentors, coaches, doing masterminds. She’d built landing pages, hosted summits, focused on “list” building.

“You’re damn right I’m frustrated…wait, no,...

I’m in love. Before coming to Australia, I felt like something was off like I wasn’t being congruent with who I am...like I was missing something. Ever felt like that?

Like, OMG, I’ve created everything I’ve ever wanted - a business I adore, with a family I absolutely love, an awesome Queen team, able to travel the world, live the #laptoplifetstyle - but....why am I not more motivated to go for more? What’s missing in my life? 

In the past, I’ve gone down the rabbit hole searching for all those answers in all the wrong places - in men, in food, in looking a certain way, in needing validation from other people. All fruitless, meaningless dead ends.

It’s easy to start swinging for the fences, throwing spaghetti against a wall in moments like this. Maybe this thing! Maybe this thing! Oh, shiny! Maybe this!

But it’s never a thing, it’s about WHO YOU BE. 

And if your present self is out of alignment with...

Feeling the pressure to perform right now - to do more in your business? To push harder? Does it feel like it’s stretching the walls of what you thought you were capable of?

...But, if we’re being honest, you like it...the pressure. 

When it’s the right amount, it’s a rush to see what you can create, accomplish, and what can flow forward when there are external pressures - time, money, deadlines. 

CREATIVITY IS LIKE SEX. 

When an idea penetrates your mind, and it is the pressure that allows for the oh-so-good orgasm of genius to flow from your mind into physical reality.

PRESSURE IS NECESSARY TO BIRTH ANYTHING INTO REALITY. 

During physical labor, there is the pressure of contractions, just as there are inevitably contractions throughout creation until what you’ve created is birthed into physical reality. Meaning…

The book is published.

The show is on Netflix.

The offer is...

Have you ever felt like you couldn’t get started because you didn’t have any creative ideas? Have you ever dallied down the dark spiral of feeling uninspired, waiting, hoping, praying, NAY! BEGGING to the gods on high for some spark of inspiration? For some light to shine forth upon you from the heavens showering you with genius? 

Sometimes a light comes on. Sometimes a switch is flicked in the midst of “not doing anything” and a pure stroke of brilliance whacks you like a lightning bolt.

...But more often than not, you gotta sit your butt down do the freaking work.

CREATIVITY IS LIKE SEX. 

Sometimes you’re not in the mood, not really inspired to do it, but a kiss here, a touch there, a little flirtation, and once the making out starts, you’re like “Okay, I’m game.” 

SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO GET MOVING TO GET THOSE CREATIVE JUICES FLOWING. 

And then after,...

THERE ARE SOME DAYS I WANT TO RETREAT.

There are times when I just want to cower and hide and bury myself in the cocoon of my blankets and pretend like the world around me doesn’t exist. 

There are moments, sometimes days when I just want to hide behind the veil of “not knowing how” and quietly sip the poison of my excuses and allow its slow erosion eat through the intestines of my dreams like colitis of the creative.

Yes, I have my moments. Sometimes they even last a day.

I hide knowing that I will be rebirthed through the labor pains as I dig through the plagiarized programming, conditioned addicted feelings of “not-enoughness” and “who cares” because I know what’s on the other side...

Sweet freedom.

Freedom from the matrix of what society, people, the world says I should think/do/be.

Freedom from the fears that bind me to the mast of the sinking vessel of who I have been. 

FOR IT IS WITH COURAGE AND FAITH...

I lost a friend to COVID. Don’t worry she’s still alive, she didn’t have COVID...she was plagued like many, with fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of a different opinion about fear. Fear of being wrong about fear. Fear of fear. 

I lost her because she no longer wanted to be my friend. 

It still hurts sometimes. Fear always does. 

Deep down, I’m sure there’s still that little five-year-old girl in me who’s begging to be liked, praying that someone will just love her, notice her, accept her for who she is.

I didn’t want to share this. I felt embarrassed. Marred - like you would think that I’m a bad person for admitting that someone out there in the ether didn’t like me or what I put out there on the interwebs. Ashamed, questioning? Should I feel bad? 

Should I not have shared what was on my heart and soul about how I saw people treating other people - using a pandemic to shame, blame, vilify, and...

When I first started my business, I marketed and worked with 99% women - fierce, badass, driven, ambitious women who wanted it all and who were willing to put their nose to the grindstone, do the work, hustle hard, pedal to the metal, push themselves until they broke down or burnt out, the go-go-goal-getters who were driven AF to move heaven and earth to do the work.

Usually, it was from a place of giving, of service, of a desire to be more, do more, share more, serve more. It didn’t matter whether they were giving to 1300 students in an online course, or giving money, time, energy, to their kids, giving to everyone, everyone...except themselves.

Giving from lack is not giving from love.

This shows up as…

Being on the verge of burn out or breakdown, beating yourself against the form of how something “should” be or “should” work to serve your customers. 

Not asking for help, when your soul (and your sanity) is crying out for...