For the first time in 2 years, I chose to NOT do like the rest of the world. 

Every year over Thanksgiving in the past, I have been glued to my computer frantically creating content and a Black Friday/Cyber Monday offer that, frankly, never really was in alignment, to begin with.

I’ll be honest. I created a lot of them out of a “scarcity mindset” - and I learned a hard lesson when you do that. 

They sold a whopping zero. Two years in a row. 

Yes, one year selling zero is a fluke. Two is a pattern.

So this year, between moving into our new place - an actual apartment not an AirBnB - and jumping through all the hoops that went into that...

IT JUST DIDN’T FEEL ALIGNED TO THROW OUT SOME BUNDLE THAT WASN’T 100% FROM A PLACE OF SERVICE, TRUST, AND FAITH. 

No one needs more stuff right now. 

We need more CONNECTIONS.

True deep, meaningful connection and growth.

Connection with yourself.

Connection to what you want and desire.

Connection with your courage to actually go after it. 

Confession time: Eminem has helped unlock my soul since 2009. 

To this day, Lose Yourself still gives me chills. It is a song that when it comes on, the volume goes all the way up, and suddenly this Fire Rabbit (if you’re familiar with Chinese astrology and a proper double entendre with Eminem’s character in 8 Mile) comes out. 

She is fierce. 

She is driven.

She is freaking powerful. 

Ever have a song that taps you into who you KNOW you are and can be at your soul?

I remember back at the beginning of 2019, Spike, Decky, and I were headed for our yearly review on the beach - Decky, being two was only there for the swings and sweet potato fries. 

As we were driving down the PCH, Lose Yourself by Eminem came on, and of course, Spike and I threw it down...because that’s how us Spencer’s roll, yo!

It hit me then, that while 2018 was a year of many amazing firsts, many dreams coming true even, it paradoxically was the year of many challenges, many struggles, and many painful lessons....

Watch out, because I’ve got a bone to pick (and yeah, it’s because I picked it raw and real in the first 1.5 years in my business.)

You see, back then I was doing all the things - blogging, photoshoot, website design, creating products (that no one wanted), investing in tech, like, everything...

Except for making money.

My husband even had a joke back then, that I couldn’t get 15 minutes into a Netflix show without whipping open my computer and getting to work.

Fast forward till now...

And I just finished watching 2 glorious hours of Ancient Aliens...sans computer, and sans baby.

I enjoyed every single second of it. No laptop. No phone. No kiddo even (he was in school.)

Here’s the thing...

FEAR WILL HOLD YOU CAPTIVE.
It will keep you stuck in the easy.

It will keep you trapped in the Groundhog Day of the pervasive world for work’s sake.

It will keep you trapped in fire fighting mode, when, really, the fire is just the REAL stuff you know you SHOULD be doing that’s burning a ho...

It boggles my mind when I see this come up in business - stealing customers. 

Gasp! Oh no, say it ain’t so! 

And not in a “How could someone do that to someone else?”

No, no, no…

It’s in a “how can someone think it’s even possible to “steal” a client?”

Like, do you own them?

Are you their master? And are they your slave?

Because dear Lord, if we head down that road, we’re headed for trouble.

This is a belief that stems 100% from scarcity and fear. 

And, really, when you question it, it’s not logical. 

I’ve seen this problem pop up from time to time in every industry, and especially with service-based professionals as they cling desperately to their clientele labeling them as “mine” and should they dare consider leaving them, there are gnarly scare tactics thrown their way.

Ummm...yeah, been in those types of relationships and they’re called controlling.

I’ve even had some”#woke” business owners think that Karma is going to “get” someone who’s stolen a client from them - Lik...

When I was younger I used to PRIDE myself on being busy, “Better busy than bored,” I’d announce, beaming at my packed schedule with massive gratitude. 

I looooved what I was doing. I felt in alignment, so being “busy” never bothered me because it fueled me on a soul level (and work also allowed me to escape dealing with things in my romantic relationships - but that’s another story for another day).

It was about a year into teaching Pilates that I was blessed with a paradigm shift around “busyness.”

I had two clients…

One, a mother of two grown children, both in high school, both with their own cars. She was fully supported by her ex-husband, had no job, no business...and was the most STRESSED OUT HUMAN that I have ever met in my life still to this day.

She would come into her 10 AM Private Pilates sessions with me - her body tight, constricted, with a bloated stress belly to boot. She would complain about how “busy” she was and how much “stress” she had - I mean choosing the RIGH...

If negativity is your kryptonite too, keep reading.⁠

Because hot dang, I feel frankly worn from these past few weeks. You too?

Thank God for Spike, my partner, and my support when I’m in the middle of a “Hurri-Kim” of crap feelings. 

Fortunately, I’ve cultivated the tools over years and years of work to recognize, acknowledge, shift and break-through - but dang, when you’re in it it’s like the breaking down of your being.

What happens when you get stabbed with your own kryptonite? 

YOU FEEL THE INNER PANGS OF YOUR OWN FEAR, DOUBT, FRUSTRATION, SHAME, OR WHATEVER OTHER SUPERWOMAN-CRUSHING FEELINGS, YOU FEEL, THAT MAKE YOU - HUMAN.⁠

Wait - what? Do you mean I’m not PERFECT?

Trying to pretend that shadow doesn’t exist only makes the monster under the bed get bigger and bigger in your head.⁠

I learned this the hard way after I gave birth to Declan. 

I was doing all the things in my business, it was growing. My mindset as a business owner was on track - but as a mom, I was riddled ...

“Do you fling yourself off a cliff and expect to fly to Hawaii?” I asked my client.

She stared at me perplexedly, “Um...no...I would die.”

“Exactly!” I exclaimed. 

You see...

Having worked with 5,6, and 7-figure entrepreneurs for the past 4 years, and having been an entrepreneur for the past 12 years, I’ve found the number one reason why people start their own businesses - freedom.

Hey, it was my reason too. 

So the entrepreneur flings herself off the cliff with the Braveheart-worthy battle cry of FREEEEEEEEEEDOM into the wide world of entrepreneurship, expecting just that…

Only to be surprised by the crash landing on the rocks below. 

So she picks herself up, wringing her hands through her hair as to “why God, why” is she not feeling even a smidge free. 

Why does everyone else on Instagram seem to be doing sooooo much better than me?

Why is so and so-and-so so much more successful? 

And then, the idea dawns...

She picks herself back up off that rock of failed attempts to c...

Remember back in 2007 when that recession hit? 

I had just started freelancing as a Pilates instructor. I was working primarily at one studio and within one year, I had become the highest paid, youngest instructor at the studio. 

I went from making smoothies at BodyWorks for $8.75 an hour to a $55,000 year! I was enraptured! 

“So this is what big-time feel like?” I thought. Haha. 

Awww, what a cute little entrepreneur I was back then. 

But here’s the other thought I continued to think that served me POWERFULLY throughout a decade of entrepreneurship. 

What recession? 

Exactly. 

I heard people talking about it. I remember hearing my parents mentioning it a few times. I knew it was something “out there.” I had just simply, consciously or unconsciously, decided it wasn’t going to be IN HERE.

You know, up in my mind. 

I was UNAVAILABLE for anything less than profit and prosperity. 

And I continued to profit, prosper and work my ass off 10 hours a day, loving what I did…until I d...

“Why would anyone want to hire me? There are so many others in my industry. I just feel like I don’t compare.”

“You’re right,” I said.

Her mouth dropped open. I don’t think my client was expecting me to agree with her when she was so used to me challenging her excuses. 

“Your industry is rapidly growing,” I continued, ”And, yes, there are definitely people way ahead of you, making more money, with larger followings.”

“So how do I break through?” she asked. I could feel her frustration through the Zoom screen.

“Perhaps that’s the wrong question. Let me ask you this...

Why did you hire me?”

Without even a pause, “Well, your energy, and your background, and how you’ve helped other people. I just felt like you would GET me.”

Look...

I’ve polled enough clients and received enough testimonials to know that it is not about how much money I have made, how many credentials I have earned, how many blogs I put out, how many things I do that is why people work with me.

Never. 

In any in...

After I cleaned up my mindset, there are only a few reality shows I will watch now - Queer Eye, Shark Tank, and Project Runway. I have always loved the creativity of high fashion. 

And sure, hasn’t every princess ALSO dreamed of becoming a runway model? 

On Project Runway, whenever the pressure is on and the contestants are trying to figure out creating an outfit, there’s always a time when Tim Gunn pops into the workroom to advise and council - basically, he’s like their fashion coach. 

His signature line is this…

“Make it work.” 

BASICALLY, FIGURE IT OUT. 

Make it into reality. 

Or as my client, who just went from $25K months to $50K months says, “Just fucking do it.” 

And that’s exactly it.

That’s exactly why my client’s income doubled while working together.

He just fucking did the work.

He made it work.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO KNOW ALL THE STEPS ALONG THE WAY.

In fact, even if you do, something will invariably throw you off that “plan” so you have to innovate. 

You make it...